Mum says IABU using some of DD’s bits for baby boy due soon

My sisters and I had our kids in fairly neat procession, and we just passed around a few boxes of gear (mine was the first, so I also had a couple of boxes passed on from colleagues). We didn't care whether the baby was a boy or girl if it fit and was convenient. You are doing absolutely nothing wrong, and given how quickly babies grow, it's absolutely silly to buy all new when you already have things. Especially muslins for goodness sake - they're just glorified cloths! Who cares what colour they are :)

Also, honestly, my son had long eyelashes, and that was enough for people to assume he was a girl when he was a baby, no matter what he was wearing. And my youngest has long hair, so is frequently assumed to be a girl (to be fair, when he was a toddler pink was his favourite colour) - people are just making conversation, it doesn't harm the kids at all for people to guess wrong!

My dd sometimes wore pink bodysuits when she was born and I had a ridiculous number of strangers say “awww he’s so cute”…so colour means nothing when people are commenting on the sex a baby. Plus, who cares what strangers think. As for reusing, it would be madness to replace all items just because you’re now having a boy. I reused my DD’s purple pram/pushchair for my ds and the world still carried on turning despite a number of people being confused because I used a purple item for my ds. Besides, it would be madness to replace perfectly good baby stuff just because of the colour, or because another baby had used them.

Anyway, the items/colours are irrelevant because your problem isn’t what you have for your baby. The problem is your judgemental overbearing mother who thinks it’s acceptable to criticise your perfectly reasonable parenting decisions.

DS is 3, I'm pregnant with #2 & if its a girl they'll still be wearing lots of DS's stuff! To be fair we bought mostly neutral stuff (white/greens/yellows) but were given some more "boyish" gifts & hand-me-downs for DS, which we will use too.
I have the travel system inc car seat, next-to-me, cotbed etc all stored. Only the swing seat didn't make the cut as it didn't fit through the loft hatch 😅I sold it & will buy another secondhand. Its much more environmentally friendly.

A stranger once told me how pretty my youngest was. I told them he was a boy but thanked them nonetheless and acknowledged that he was very pretty. And we all got on with our lives as normal.

my oldest like to push a dolly in a pushchair round the park. Lots of people told me what a lovely girl he was. Even if your son is mistaken for a girl he won’t care!

So you're using some of DD's old, great condition stuff, and saving money to presumably spend on DD/DS going forward? What a TERRIBLE mother....

No but sarcasm aside, whilst there's nothing wrong if you WANTED to buy new stuff and can afford it, I'm with you on reusing what you can. It's for him to be sick on. It doesn't matter one bit what colour it is.

Oh gosh please ignore your mother.. it's bonkers to buy any new stuff when you have perfectly good stuff already. Muslins are literally for soaking up dribble and milk - really really doesn't matter what colour!
Fine to reuse car seat too as you are the previous owner!

Two boys here as well, and both of them slept in the same 1970s carrycot that I, and my younger brother, had slept in. New mattress pad, though...

You sound like a very caring mum. Listen to your DH and ignore all the nonsense coming from your DM. Enjoy the rest of your pregnancy and try not to worry about inconsequential things. Focus on on your future baby boy and making the most of the time until he arrives.

In 1948 austerity everything would have been reused over and over again. In Victorian times little boys wore their older sister's dresses until they were 'breeched' - put in breeches. OP's mum is more influenced by 80s and 90s consumerism.

I think there's something really sweet and lovely about your son having a few handy down bits, especially the moses basket, like little gifts from his big sister. It's also much more environmentally friendly than buying everything new (and of course being environmentally friendly is in your children's best interests).

She's been mad...

Put lots of boundaries in and hope you have a lovely time when your new babe is here!

Ignore her. You are right to reuse things.

She’s being utterly ridiculous. I’d be limiting contact.

Silly moo. Had the morning train from 1948 just arrived in?

Your mum is being ridiculous. There is absolutely no need to be wasteful. Use what youve got.

You need to grey rock her on this, for your peace of mind.
Pick a stock phrase and no matter what she says, even if she's asking a question to you, even if what you respond doesnt make sense in the context of whats being said, keep repeating that phrase.
"The baby doesnt care and neither do i"
Or if you feel a bit spicy "there you go again mum, worried that something horrible will happen if people think the baby has girl parts"

You know what you're doing, and are right.
I can't understand why your mum is being snippy and undermining your confidence. Whatever the reason, just carry on. Or tell her to be quiet if she upsets you again. So unnecessary. 💐

She’s ridiculous! I have DT’s - b/g. They wore whichever babygro I picked up - I didn’t check whether I was putting on a pink babygro on DS or DD. Colour of clothing is irrelevant at any age.
The pink for a girl and blue for a boy is just stupid.

I had two boys so can't comment on the "wrong" colour muslin- although I do think your mum is being ridiculous.
Re the moses basket.... she'd be horrified to hear that I used a hand-me-down from my sister (2 DC) for both my boys, and then passed it on to friends... I know at least 9 babies have used that moses basket so far! (all with new mattresses).
Don't feel guilty! You sound like a lovely, sensible mum.

I had blue, pink, white and yellow for my girl. When my boy came along, he looked gorgeous in the pink! I used all of her stuff for him. Strangely enough, he’s still male. Now he’s a 183cm engineer who wears pink shirts occasionally. Tell your mum to pull her head in. Absolutely ridiculous!

Just in case you were ever wondering if your mum has lost the parenting plot … she has told you she has.

Every parent with more than one child in normal succession times reuses stuff they already have.

She’s being daft.
My DS wore dd’s hand me downs till old enough to object! Tell her you're being environmentally conscious!

She’s welcome to go out and buy you anything she reckons you need a second or a gender stereotype version of ;)

and boys used to wear pink as it was seen as a stronger colour with girls in blue which was seen as more delicate.

Your mother is being an idiot. Does she realise how many people buy second hand items to use with no idea of the history? Most people with more than one child re-use things from their first - what a waste if it were just thrown away and new bought!

Ignore her and know she’s batshit.

I would be creating strong boundaries now because it’s sounds like she’s quite happy to ride roughshod over your decisions. Of course you’re not wrong. Of course it’s perfectly fine to reuse stuff. I’ve got a 13 year gap between my kids and I was really annoyed with myself that I didn’t keep all the big ticket stuff I had for DD, for DS when he arrived. I would have done the same and saved myself a fortune! Tell your mother quite firmly that your parenting decisions are none of her business and there will be no further discussion on the matter. She sounds awful. Good luck with your new baby!