Would you ever tell off someone else’s child?

Yes I would and I have. If their parent dealt with it, fine no reason for me to get involved but if parent isn’t there or doesn’t deal with it appropriately and their behaviour is affecting me or my child, yes absolutely I will tell them off. And I would be happy for another adult to tell off my child if they were misbehaving and I wasn’t there.

Infact I think that sometimes another adult telling off a child works better in some situations. Not exactly what your talking about but I was in a supermarket with my 2 year old, he started acting up, just the usual 2 year old nonsense, I was struggling trying to get him to walk while carrying bags, you can imagine the scene, we’ve all been there, an elderly gentleman turned round and said “right young man that’s quite enough!”, it stopped him in his tracks immediately, stopped his tantrum and he walked nicely next to me. I was very thankful! 😂

I do, find it much harder with friends kids though - it's more awkward.

But last weekend a kid was jumping a queue and pushed infront of my DC who had been patiently waiting her turn. It came out of my mouth - 'ahhh no'.

He'd done it to multiple other kids but it's when I said something that his Dad came and removed him. The kid just gawped at me.

I wouldn't yell at a kid though. Honestly an 'ahhh' noise is usually enough.

'Ahhhh no' with a finger raised - has generally resolved every issue I've encountered when I've needed to stop/correct another kid.

No one can then accuse me of telling off/shouting at their kid, but if they did then I'm happy to give the bollocking to the parent. It's not down to me to tell off another kid, it's down to me reflect fairness and safety to my child.

But I have a particularly stern voice - so I find it's enough. It also works on dogs too. The right kind of 'ahhh' works wonders 😂

I was in a large queue waiting to get onto the tube, had a child behind me kick me several times. I said "please stop kicking me". Mum went nuclear 🙄 until the person behind the child piped up to say he had been kicking him too, swinging his legs.

I would still say something. Wouldn't stop a child from hitting equipment though unless they were purposely following us, I'd just stay away. Recently have had to ask older children to leave my daughter alone as (at different locations) they kept trying to take her hand to play with her.

So because he’s a man, he just allows other kids to bully his? Behave.

So you reckon non-disabled children of average size and ability should be able to play withing their parents and carers hanging over them every second, but every other child should be allowed to -how horrible.

He didn’t bully anyone into leaving and the only thing he did wrong was to threaten an appropriate consequence he had no way of enforcing. He just reacted in the moment as the “parent” was doing sod all parenting. He’d have done the same if the girl was there with her dad.

Yes. I used to run a toddler group and most of the families were wonderful but we had the occasional live wire child with an ineffective parent and for the good of the majority, including my own kids, I’d get involved if I needed to.

I had to tell a boy on the school run to stop touching my daughter, his dad was there but seemed to think it was sweet even though she was trying to get away from him so I firmly said “please stop touching her she doesn’t like” and the boy apologised while his dad continued to look pretty gormless. He hasn’t done it again since.

You often find that children who rarely or never get told no respond quite well to it.

What about older kids though? We don’t know what happened yet but three kids have been charged with murdering a man at a Kent beach “after an altercation”

I have once - child about 4 or 5 aggressively chasing pigeons and trying to kick them. I was with a friend who was mortified, but he was really trying to hurt them and old enough to be told to stop.

I loudly corrected my friend’s 4 yo DS who decided it was fun to yank on my dog’s tail. Ddog was a gentle soul and just looked confused and tried to get out of his way. When my friend came in to see what was happening she was horrified and talked to him about being gentle with animals. After that, he was always so loving with Ddog and they became firm friends.

It's a very formal way of asking the question, feels like something in a questionnaire 🤔

DP really shouted at a group of teenage boys swearing like troopers in the under 8s playground at the park. Their chat was vile and he thankfully got rid of them. The playground was packed with parents, babies and toddlers but no-one else said anything. I struggle with confrontation so it makes me happy that DP will always stand up for DD - if she's ever bullied in school I'm sending him in!

Then it’s your problem. You need to stand there watching like a hawk so your child doesn’t bother everyone else.

What rubbish. Whacking play equipment with a stick is not a game, it's completely inappropriate and could be dangerous. What if they're whacking a slide as someone starts coming down it? What if the stick they're whacking stuff with breaks off and hits another child in the face? Or they hit a child while they're swinging it around? 'Whacking stuff' isn't a game.

Of course children shouldn't just be expected to sort things out fairly on their own. How is a 3 year old ever going to manage that? How is a younger child ever going to get a chance if the older one gets to decide what's fair? How is a quiet child ever going to get a turn?

It's just poor, lazy parenting to suggest that whacking stuff with a stick is a game and that children should just sort everything out for themselves.

My favourite example OP was when a horribly behaved child of a completely ineffective parent was sat behind me kicking the back of my chair on a plane. I turned round glared at the child from between the seats and clearly mouthed 'NO'. Child stopped immediately - but continued to be a complete brat for her ineffective parent.

Yes I will say something but then I’d also expect someone to pull my ds up if I didn’t notice or wasn’t there to see what he did. If I noticed ds would get told in no j certain terms so I think he would prefer the intervention of strangers 😂

The worst parents imo are the ones who tell everyone else’s kids off but never reprimand their own.

Your abit weak if you don't aren't you?

I have done, on several occasions.

I would and I have. Sometimes even a glare is enough. If parents don’t like it, they should be supervising more closely. They can kick off if they want, I don’t care or take it to heart.

If he tried that shit in the soft plays I go to, he'd be told straight that no man bullies a woman into leaving. He went too far. He doesn't get to dictate who is in the building, even if he thinks he can being a man and dealing with a lone woman.

Yes, and I’d expect other parents to have a word with my kid if they were disrespectful of property or if they were being horrible.

I would NOT be as angry as I would with my own kids - depending on the misdemeanour and with younger kids I would say, “I don’t think you should be doing that, do you?” And then give a reason and say thank you when they stopped/left.

With very small kids I’d look around for parent/carer then I’d say, “where is your mummy or daddy? Play gently so you don’t hurt yourself/ the other children.”

Yes, but not how I tell my own kids off. I try and adopt the school teacher way of speaking rather than the crazy banshee that my kids get as the school teacher persona doesnt work on them 😂
Although once at the top of a big soft play I told a girl of about 7 off in a measured school teacher way for targeting my then 4 year old son and pushing him over continuously, and she went for my throat and I had to prize her off. I was so shocked i got us down and told thr management. Who said that this family come here every other day and don't parent their children at all and get complaints. The mum looked like she would fight me too.
In another soft play I saw two mums going for each other after one told off the others child, one of the mums was shouting ' I'm getting my boyfriend down here and he will bust you up, meet me outside and say that you bitch' etc. So I do take into consideration who the parents are. If they look like they might go mental then I just move us away...

A very loud Oi normally works

I do but usually in a way that isn’t going to get me in trouble with the other parent. DH however, shouted so loudly to a 5 year old girl who was holding our 2 year olds face to the floor at soft play after pushing her over, that the whole softplay went silent. He made the little girl apologise and told her it was the third time he’d seen her targeting our daughter and if she did it again he would make her mum take her straight home. The girl apologised and the mum was just open-mouthed I think with shock. The other parents absolutely loved it though and DH had winks and a number of “well done mate” muttered his way afterwards.

Yes absolutely I would and have. And I'd be fine with another adult telling mine off if they were misbehaving and I wasn't there.