Other people's cooking makes me feel sick

I completely understand but trying to get better.

I don't know why I am like this as my house is cluttered and not the cleanest so it isn't that.

I would never buy anything from the homemade cake stall at school fairs. Would never buy a factory prepared sandwich from a shop.

I am bit obsessive about washing my hands so maybe it's this. Seeing people on kebab vans etc handle food and then handle money makes me 🤮. I hate handling coins and other people's keys!

I refused to have a cup of tea at my mums house or eat because their kitchen was disgusting. They didn't rinse washing up and my stepdad never washed his hands. I got a kids cup out their cupboard once which was stored with the lid firmly on so I took a sniff and it fucking reeked of mould!! From then on I took my kids fruit shoots if we visited

If I think about others' food hygiene, I probably wouldn't be able to eat the food. I've sort of trained myself not to think about it and tell myself I've managed to survive so far and that most people don't get ill after eating out or getting a takeaway. (Having said that, knowing the state of my brother's fingernails, I avoid eating his homemade bread.)

I'm the same as @Sunblocker . As a child, I could eat food cooked by my mum but I really struggled to eat a crumb at anyone else's house. Now I will eat my own cooking or my partner's cooking, but I can't eat out, or touch takeaways or pre-packed sandwiches etc. We prepare/cook everything from scratch.

I also hate cooking for others because I'm very conscious that my house is messy and I have a lot of pets, so I am far from being hygiene obsessed, although I'm very fussy about food preparation and we're vegetarian.

We live in a terrace, and even smelling my neighbours food or someone's barbecue makes me feel sick.
It's definitely a psychological issue.

I can’t eat other people’s cooking either unless they’re family or very close, trustworthy friends.

For me it’s not a hygiene thing as such, I’m autistic and it’s fear of unknown textures or flavours and it not tasting or feeling “right” in my mouth.

I'm clean in the kitchen and wash my hands but firmly believe in the seconds rule if something goes on the clean floor.

I have never given this a second thought and work on the basis that if something is cooked the temperature will have killed off anything.

The exception is carverys. We have seen people dipping their fingers in graves and sauces to taste. Yuk! We have only been once.

None of us are ever sick unless it's a full on gastro bug. DH never. DS 18 mo, DD once aged 4 and once aged 14. Me winter 24, when ds was 18 mo, 1979.

The thing is, your post is going to attract lots of people who have the same issues you do, which will make it seem normal, but obviously it's not normal at all.

Your examples range from things which would make me think 'Why on earth would that be a problem ?!' to 'Ok that's not ideal, but it wouldn't actually bother me'. I would be bothered by something I genuinely thought might make me ill. I've been ill from food three times in my life - all three from seafood served by restaurants. I will happily eat cakes and biscuits from a school bake sale (including things made by children!).

You probably get norovirius as often as you do because you work in healthcare…and norovirus is frequently passed between people, not directly from food (though that is another route).

I feel exactly the same way. I have a friend who insists on baking me things. When you talk to her, she spits when she talks and fingers are constantly going in and out of ears and, I’m sure, worse 🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢 sometimes I have no choice than to eat some of it in front of her and I’m so scared I’ll actually throw up. Otherwise it all goes straight in the bin as soon as she leaves!

In my experience, MN threads attract likeminded people like moths to a flame, and the responses aren’t representative at all.

For instance, if there’s a thread about people earning six figures, you’d be mistaken for thinking the average UK salary is around £200k based on the posts… when clearly it’s not, and the thread is obviously acting as a magnet for people similar to the OP.

The sad thing here is that those with these life-limiting neuroses just get their behaviours validated by others who are similar, and they continue thinking they are more normal than they were…. but no less miserable and still imprisoned by their neuroses.

I write this as someone who has had neuroses in the past but managed to let them go and feel liberated at a result…

Genuine question OP - do you only eat UPF factory food then?

No takeaways, no coffees from coffee shops (or cakes for that matter), no bread from the bakers, never bought anything from a farm-shop, nothing from a butchers, no eggs ever because invariably a human has gone to retrieve them,

wild fish! - caught at sea and handled on a boat in rough conditions where the fishermen are not sanitising their hands every five seconds , and still breathing, shouting, coughing....

That wild fish then used to make sushi - meticulously prepared by humans

artisan cheese - prepared by humans

Even with UPF factory food, a human has touched it somewhere in the production line. And how do you know that human didn't cough at that moment? Or sneeze, or itch their ear... Even if it has been processed and sealed before it has left the factory....

This seems like a miserable way to live and I imagine you'd be so much happier if you sought help for it. Even if so you could enjoy delicious artisan cheeses. It's worth it for that alone 😁

i don’t think this is at all normal, sounds OCD like to me

if someone was cooking me dinner and talking (the horror!) I’d be thinking about the conversation and maybe pouring them a drink. Not worrying that they could be spitting in my food and scrutinising their hygiene.

I definitely don’t have OCD, am not a germaphobe at all, but I feel exactly the same (also hate it when people wash dishes in a sink full of water that way).

For me it’s totally around a fear of getting sick, I am someone who seems to unfortunately be particularly prone to catching norovirus, despite good hand hygiene etc, working in healthcare doesn’t help, but I found out recently that some people are simply much more or less genetically predisposed to catching norovirus and get more sick from it. I read a thread on mumsnet once where people said how often they’d had norovirus and some people were saying like once or twice in their life ever! I was shocked as I get it at least once a year without fail (with a brief respite in the early pandemic!) and very often more.

Grim

I’ve been like this since I was a child- I wouldn’t eat anything made by anyone except my Mum. Nothing to do with food hygiene then I guess, as I didn’t have a clue about that when I was small! Even today, I find it almost impossible to eat at someone else’s house and I never share home made cakes and things at work. I haven’t really thought too much about this but this post has really made me think!

Wow so many people on this thread feel the same as you, I'm surprised but I guess it means you're not alone.

I always suggest going out for dinner if I have guests visiting because I'm not as good a cook as most people. Now I have something else to be self conscious about as well! 😂

I'm an ok baker and am over run with eggs atm so was going to do a lemon drizzle for the office... I won't bother..(or maybe I will and eat the whole thing myself)

Honestly eye opening how many responses so fast are saying "yep me too I hate other people cooking" . I knew someone who wouldn't even accept a glass of water outside the house because she was worried about the glass and I always thought she was a real anomaly but I guess not!

This is me too OP. Tbh even if I don’t have identifiable concerns about a particular cook / haven’t seen anything, I almost never feel comfortable eating other people’s home cooking. I also have issues with cutlery (often use my own unless I can’t hide it/would have to explain). I’m autistic and assumed it was linked.

You only get one life….

I could either spend it being miserable, fretting about tiny risks and ruining social meetings and events with my hygiene neuroses, to the extent it blights my life and sucks the joy out of it

Or I could relax, realise the risks are negligible, enjoy good food and socialising with others, and just accept that you may very occasionally get a dodgy tummy for a day or two if someone hasn’t prepped perfectly, and live your life free from shackles of food anxiety.

Yes, you can rationalise to yourself that your anxiety is reasonable, but that doesn’t change the fact it’s blighting your life… What’s the point in proving to yourself that you’re being rational simply so you can continue to live under a cloud…when others are living free and reveling in it.

For your own sake, please try to let go
of your neuroses, get therapy if you need to, and enjoy the one life you’ve been given.

I bet the dinner scene from Scary Movie 2 would give you the shivers! Don’t look it up if you’ve not seen it.

YANBU. The things you described put me off too.

One of the normal things that really makes me sick is blowing out candles on a cake. Luckily, no one notices if I don't partake. However, one thing that confuses me is why do people blanch at certain ethnicities eating with their hands? There's tons of etiquette around it but foremost, based on hygiene. Everyone washes their hands thoroughly, only meant to use right hand, food shouldn't go past the first knuckle, no double dipping from communal dishes etc. people eat slowly and enjoy their food. I'm so cackhanded I make a mess but have really loved that way of eating - particularly off a Banana Tree leaf (naturally waxy) in India, Malaysia etc. After eating, people swill their mouths, rinse off their hands and the banana leaves, which go into compost area. Loads better than using paper or plastic plates!

I once worked in a hotel at Christmas time at one of those places that does big corporate events, weddings etc as a waitress and would watch the chef sweat directly on to the plates as he was serving up the Xmas dinners. This was 30 years ago but it was a well respected place.

Anyway I guess you really can't be assured that anywhere has perfect food hygiene at all times. I'd rather eat someone's home cooked food that they have put care and attention and love in to than food mass produced on a production line by underpaid workers picking their noses etc.

Can I ask how do you navigate not eating the food once served up? A full plate of food will not go unnoticed and will draw comments.

I kind of don’t go to peoples houses to eat because of this.

You are not being unreasonable, anyone that's been on a food hygiene course knows more than the basics of cooking and hygiene. Sadly a large% of home cooks haven't and do miss basic stuff. Sometimes I shudder when it at friends and I'm not ocd

Some of your examples are reasonable such as licking fingers. Others are more extreme such as talking while preparing food or how the washing up is done. I think if it’s starting to affect your ability to lead a normal life, you should consider whether it’s something you need help with.

Therapy

We are not meant to be sterile. We would die if we were.