Other people's cooking makes me feel sick

I think it’s precisely because we don’t have many actual threats, at least compared to any of our ancestors, that some of us find silly things to worry about, that our ancestors would be amazed at if they could be brought back to life and see it!

You tend not to worry about someone’s sweaty forehead when you struggle to get food to put on the table in the first place!

😩I'm the same. I used to work with someone that used to bring in baked goods but she used to have cats all over the work surfaces with tapeworm segments hanging off their arses.

Just no.

Couldn't you just say 'I can't have them, I have to reduce my sugar intake drastically.' Nobody could feel hurt by that, could they?

We’re ok with it because we realise we don’t actually get ill any more often, and overly focussing on hygiene takes the joy out of life, and restricts what you can do, all for zero actual benefit!

It's a waste of food though, which other people could eat

It's made from a glut of produce from their gardens and given to friends, family and neighbours. My neighbour gives jars to literally everyone she knows and never seems to run out. It's not made especially for me. I've tried to refuse by saying I've got plenty of jam and pickles but her answer is that it'll keep, she has dozens of jars in storage. Other people could eat that too but it'll probably stay in her cupboard until she finds someone to give it to. I am not going to tell her that I'm 'disgusted' by her jam because of the hairy smelly dog in her kitchen.

There is no jam or pickle shortage in my village.

I totally get it OP and share a lot of your feelings. But I am 100% aware that they are problematic MH issues and I am a diagnosed OCD sufferer.

I have had (am having) therapy and done lots of reading around my condition. Obsessive thoughts are when you invent a whole narrative in your head around an external event - in this case, watching a friend chatting while cooking/imagining the disgusting kitchen the school fete cake might have been made in - and come to a flawed conclusion about it. (There's a book called 'Pure O' that goes into quite a lot of detail about obsessive thoughts around contamination.)

In my case I've never had food poisoning as an adult (and only once as a small child, on a camping holiday) and I've never had norovirus. I have no reason to be believe the food I saw being prepped in a cafe kitchen recently was unsafe, and my husband, who ordered the freshly prepared dish with salad, was absolutely fine (and enjoyed his meal without the cloud of misery over it that I felt!)

I think it's something to do with the age of hyper-hygiene we live in, and the messages we constantly absorb from social media, as well as unproven stories about someone's auntie's neighbour's friend's cousin who once found a toenail clipping in a sandwich or something. Whereas our grandparents would have been much more intuitive about food and trusted their own sense of taste, touch, sight and smell to judge whether food was safe or not, we are influenced by these millions of subconscious messages that tell us something may pose some weird, invisible threat to our very being. (Also, for our grandparents food was much more expensive and effortful to source so they probably valued it more!)

Like I say, I totally get it. But while this thread might show it's not uncommon it's definitely not 'normal' and it's a miserable way to live. I'm determined not to lose perspective and let myself believe that the problem is that other people are disgusting, and do all I can to change my own thought processes.

Ew. Washing the meat will have spread any bacteria all over the kitchen. No thanks.

I was with you until the talking over food part. That's utterly batshit.

Food hygiene is important but it can go too far. How is talking over food unhygienic? Chefs are always a bit sweaty, kitchens get hot!!!! Most of the stuff won't hurt us - you transfer saliva when kissing so unless the person has a contagious disease a bit of saliva won't hurt. 57% of the human body is not human - bacteria, fungi, viruses and god knows what else. Being too hygienic can lead to allergies and poor immunity. Let them eat dirt - wasn't that Marie Antoinette?

It's a waste of food though, which other people could eat.

Over the years I've been in very few households in which I wouldn't have accepted a cup of tea. Minor lapses in food hygiene aren't something I think about, and from what I've seen this is the case for most people.

It has made me aware that inviting people to stay for dinner or offering them a cup of tea could strike terror into their hearts, though.

How does this work at home? DH and I often chat in the kitchen while he cooks - are people ok with this in their own home but not with others?

Yes, this is it. This is absolutely not typical. I'm in my 60s, from a really big family, my DH is from an even bigger one. I have worked in many jobs, have a very wide circle of family, in laws, friends, colleagues over many decades, and across many countries. I do know one person like this. I also may have met a few others who I did not realise suffer from this issue. The rest eat happily wherever they are, ask for seconds, go to bake sales, share food etc. The respondents who share these feelings are drawn to this thread and are not representative of the majority of people.

I mean, you know that meat is literally a dead animal you're eating right? With blood and guts and that had a mouthful of saliva itself? And that fruit and vegetables will have been chewed and weed and shat on by insects? And that animals will wonder through farms and piss and shit on the ground your food is growing in.

Do you know how much fruit larvae is in jam? Almost certainly some, but it's not a health hazard so it's acceptable. Ever picked and eaten fruit straight off the bush? Probably eating a few larvae then too.

On this premise you can also never eat at a restaurant - do you know how many people don't wash their hands after taking a shit? Do you know how many people pick their nose? One of my cousins used to work in Mcdonalds and spit in the burgers of people he didn't like....

Personally I'm more concerned with all the horrific chemicals sprayed over everything - but yeah, you worry about whether your sister might have licked her finger once while making jam. Really hope you've never snogged anyone let alone given them a blow job if that is such a major concern!

Gut health and immune systems are so poor that it's actually recommended that you don't constantly wash your hands after stroking your dog or doing gardening now.

This thread is absolute madness!

www.telegraph.co.uk/news/health/news/12097838/Dog-walkers-and-gardeners-should-avoid-washing-hands-to-encourage-friendly-bacteria.htmlFriendly

I really feel sorry for you OP and anyone else who lets these concerns impinge on their social life.

I wouldn’t like to eat in someone’s home if the kitchen seemed filthy but thankfully I’ve never been anywhere like that.

Nobody should ever wash meat - that's just a basic rule.

Kindly, OP, this is about your unusual and unnecessary reactions. It is possible to be way too hung up on food hygiene, and none of the people you mention will ever be I'll as a result of their own cooking. It might be a good idea to seek support for your anxieties.

But did that make you ill? Has someone patting a dog ever, in human history, ever made another person ill? No sickness caused, no effect on the smell or taste of the food produced: what is the problem? If someone patted their child’s head whilst preparing food would that bother you?

Then do them a favour and tell them you find their food disgusting so they stop wasting time and resources on you

No. That would upset them. What you don't know won't hurt.

Fully understand where the OP is coming from. I am really careful with good hygiene, and notice that most other people aren’t. I visited relatives last week where the cook several times touched or patted her dog and went straight back to food prep without washing her hands. It absolutely turned my stomach.

Not really sure what the solution is, other than to avoid these situations where possible.

Dangerous, too, cause of food poisoning.

BIL’s wife used to wash eggs before boiling them. Poor woman was quite unwell.

Then do them a favour and tell them you find their food disgusting so they stop wasting time and resources on you.

I get you. i dread home made stuff too like cakes,buns,jams,fudge etc and no matter how lovely the thought as a treat etc it goes in the bin, I just can't

Same. My lovely neighbour makes jams and pickles and always gives me a couple of jars of each, and my sister in law does the same. Unfortunately they both have dogs and I can't get past that. The dogs are often round their feet when they're doing stuff and they give them the odd stroke. I just can't. I have to bin it.

I’m the exact same OP!

my sister licks her fingers whilst making food and it makes me feel so ill.

I don’t eat at other peoples houses and to be honest I was like this even as a child. Food that other people has prepared has always made me feel sick.

I can’t get my head around other people being okay with it 😂

Would it help if you better understood the immune system and body function?

Might not, but most of what you’ve described has no real potential to make you sick. I realise that’s rational and based on illness risk from these things rather than personal preference - and this might not help.

But stomach acid sorts out an awful lot of things.