Other people's cooking makes me feel sick

Don't come to our house. Black dog hairs get everywhere and we joke about it !

The horror ! 😁

This.

@TheLuckyMoose

There's obviously important things like washing hands and maintaining good practices especially when handling poultry, for example. These are things that can make you really sick if not followed. Other things though in your post - e.g. licking fingers while cooking, depending on your cooking method and the utensils you use I don't see how that could realistically create any sort of issue. E.g. let's say I'm baking a cake, ok I've licked my finger but of course I've not subsequently touched the batter and presumably this will be poured into a tray and into the hot oven? Also talking over food - again very mininal if not negligible danger, plus does this mean no talking at the dining table at all? If you're scared of spit (!!) then this realistically should mean no talking at the dinner table, so not very pragmatic really.

Why do you think this is a problem? Surely the point of the dishwasher is to get the dishes really clean?
After all, in some countries they suggest sterilising baby's bottles in the dishwasher. We do know it isn't QUITE hot enough to do that but it's certainly hot enough for adults!

I admit I do slightly squirm at dogs licking dishes. Even when they go in the dishwasher afterwards, which I admit is probably irrational. But I'm not a dog lover and loathe having dogs slobbering on me.

To be honest, I'm pretty relaxed about all these things other than appropriate washing and careful cleaning of boards after raw meat. Both in my own cooking and other people's. I've never been worried about eating food other people have cooked at home. I love eating home baked cakes, or home-made jam, or going to someone else's house for dinner. I don't think what you describe is typical, but you are clearly not alone.

Ditto "cooking while having a sweaty forehead". Unless it is actually dripping, which is unlikely.

I have had chemo twice and lose hair sometimes while cooking even using a hairnet. I try real hard but sometimes things happen.

I'm another one who used to dread people bringing baked goods into the office! They seem to get very offended if you say no, so I used to end up taking a bit and sneaking it into the bin later.

Ironically, my own food hygiene isn't perfect. But it doesn't bother me when it's myself. Like you OP, I can handle restaurants where I can't see what's going on. I think I just blank it out in my mind.

I don't really see it as a problem though. It doesn't interfere with my life to any great extent.

With the friend who licks her fingers, could you offer to cook? Or get a takeaway or eat out? I wouldn't like that either. My mums like that, she once bought a big chocolate cake when I went there and offered for me to take the remainder home. Then licked her finger and ran it all across the cardboard base to get the chocolate scraps! That cake went in the bin!

I don’t think I know anyone who would stick their fingers up their nose in front of someone else. Not an example given by the OP.

I don’t really have an issue with the possibility that a trace of sweat or saliva might have made its way into my food. For those who do, I assume they cook everything from scratch and never buy anything made by humans in a factory?? As the chances are, there will be sweat and saliva there…

So you wouldn't eat if the kitchen was filthy, but you would if the cook had just had her fingers up her nose.
I'm with the OP, apart from talking while cooking and if I could do that, I'd be a TV cook!

Well you only have to read some threads on here to make you vomit about people’s standards. Not long ago someone said they let the dogs lick the plate clean before they go in the dishwasher. Another puts her dogs bowls in the dishwasher. People are 🤮

Have you ever worked in a restaurant or had close family that did?

It really raises the bar for food and kitchen hygiene if this is the case.

My FIL owned a restaurant, I worked in one, and I lived with a line cook for a while. Hand washing, securing hair, sanitizing, these are my norms. But, other people don't have to follow my norms in their home cooking. Food is not sterile. The people I eat with do take basic precautions.

Do you realise that the gelling temperature for jam is 105 degrees C? To make jam gel, you have to boil it like crazy. Then it is sealed in jars with lids, both sterilised either in an oven or in boiling water. Bacteria don't survive the process

That's quite helpful, thank you.

@PollyannaNibbs Do you realise that the gelling temperature for jam is 105 degrees C? To make jam gel, you have to boil it like crazy. Then it is sealed in jars with lids, both sterilised either in an oven or in boiling water. Bacteria don't survive the process.

As long as the lid is properly sealed and you hear the vacuum "pop" when you first open it, you will be fine.

Talking over food is an issue because people can often unintentionally spit when talking and then that saliva could go on the food. I do not want to ingest other people’s saliva. Some viruses such as glandular fever can be transferred via saliva even when the person isn’t ill anymore. Chefs should wear masks.

YABU but you know you are. It sounds like OCD is a possibility.

I have a colleague like you, who refuses to eat anything he hasn't prepared himself, even his mum's food. I pointed out that his mum had got him safely to adulthood without a problem but apparently that doesn't make any difference.

My team happily eat my home made cakes, but I have food hygiene training, have worked in a professional kitchen, and make bread and preserves for my elderly neighbours as well as my family. Plenty of practice at not poisoning people. 😊

I'm the same and wouldn't ever eat anything made by others unless I know them really well and trust their hygiene levels (and they don't have kids 'helping'!). E.g I avoid all coffee mornings, charity bake sales, homemade cakes at work etc.

This is one of those things that you shouldn’t think too deeply about - I know that sounds facetious, and I’m not trying to brush it aside. What I mean is that sometimes human higher cognitive reasoning clashes with our animal natures.

All of those things are gross, yes, but they’re part and parcel of life. Food isn’t meant to be sterile - we’re not just feeding ourselves but our gut bacteria which in turn strengthens our immune system.

We’re inclined to think we are our brains/minds and that our thoughts are true, but actually our brains need to be reined in, and the validity of thoughts called into question. CBT is excellent at developing tools for this. It’s dangerous to let thoughts like these funnel into purity spirals.

Couldn't you just say 'I can't have them, I have to reduce my sugar intake drastically.' Nobody could feel hurt by that, could they?

Not really because we are a family of five. Can't all be suddenly reducing our sugar. None of us want the doggy jam.

Yes, you are being unreasonable.

Talking near food is no more unhygienic than talking near you. People's breath contains spittle and germs. You will breathe some of these in. This thought may disgust you but it's unlikely to harm you.

I used to have a neighbour giving us veggies but he worked for a milking machine manufacturer and used to bring home a pump from work and spray the contents of his septic tank all over his garden so it all went straight in the bin.

He and his Mum were frequently ill. The smell when he did it was something too. As soon as I heard him firing the thing up, I would go out for a few hours depending on the wind direction.

Unreasonable or not (and many posters clearly think you are!), but I agree with you. I have a friend who's a very keen cook, but her kitchen is disgusting. The surfaces are filthy, the stove top is encrusted with grease and old food, there are dirty bits of crockery and cutlery all over the surfaces, food left out uncovered for hours. Bleugh! I love her dearly, but the only thing I have at her house is coffee!

Edited to say: I do think you're being a bit unreasonable about the sweaty for forehead and talking when cooking. Unless the sweat is in beads and dripping into the food he's making or the person talking actually spits when they talk (some people do!).

I’ve never had this worry however I can say that I understand a little as I lived with a friend recently and discovered that they never washed their hands after using the loo… I was the only person using the soap and when I came back from holiday it had dust on it.

Never been so grossed out by someone I thought I knew very well.