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Original poster

I’m drained and he has to start helping

169 replies

smileyxo · 14/08/2025 00:14

My partner and I have been together 2 years. We don’t live together but he’s at my place 6 days a week. Its been like this a little over a year. I’m starting to become overwhelmed because since he’s started staying over more my bills have sky rocketed. He’s not helping and I’m stressing about bills. I have only asked him 3 times for help with a bill and afterwards he sort of complains that he is so broke and it makes me feel bad because he would have it if I didn’t need help.

Well I can’t do it anymore. I plan on sitting down with him and telling him if he’s going to be here this much he has to help out. I don’t expect him to help out on every bill, but I think the electric and water is reasonable and just half.

am I being unreasonable? He does not have his own place he lives with his siblings and prefers coming over to my place. We’re both 23 and we both work.

OP posts:
Cucy · 14/08/2025 19:38

I’m so glad you started this thread and ultimately ended the relationship.

He was using you and sounds like he could be controlling.

Any one is better than this loser.

Laura95167 · 14/08/2025 19:37

6 days a week means he lives with you. Don't let him be a cock lodger.

He should be paying half of all the bills

Buffs · 14/08/2025 19:34

he showed his true colours - you made the right decision. Well done OP.

Trixibell1234 · 14/08/2025 19:33

Well done, sounds like a good decision

Straycats · 14/08/2025 19:04

Well done you, there will be someone out there for you.

Straycats · 14/08/2025 19:03

nevernotmaybe · 14/08/2025 18:44

He should be contributing something, within reason of his personal details that we don't know. Something towards electricity and water, half is too much though. And 50/50 on food etc that you share. And st least doing a bit of everyday chores.

I disagree on others about rent though. Its not his home, he isn't increasing the costs, and she presumably wants to spend time with him - he is being charged to spend time with someone who wants him there, in a place he has no rights in, in a place he can be kicked out at will (rightly so, of course she should be able to do that if she wants), where she is the only person who benefits getting a home entirely belonging to her cheaper. If you want to share rent, move in together. Otherwise rents are your own personal cost of life.

You really did not read OP’s posts. So annoying!

EveryOtherNameTaken · 14/08/2025 18:54

Good for you!!

nevernotmaybe · 14/08/2025 18:53

BeltaLodaLife · 14/08/2025 18:48

Maybe read the OP’s posts before you add your comment. You don’t need to read the whole thread, but you really do need to at least read the OP’s posts.

Show quote history

Read it. Nothing changes. If I have missed something you could add something helpful and just say what that is. That way a real conversation can happen. I can see I missed something, probably something you could never imagine but maybe even sometimes maybe you missed something between the comments. Nobodies perfect, I certainly don't pretend to be.

BeltaLodaLife · 14/08/2025 18:48

nevernotmaybe · 14/08/2025 18:44

He should be contributing something, within reason of his personal details that we don't know. Something towards electricity and water, half is too much though. And 50/50 on food etc that you share. And st least doing a bit of everyday chores.

I disagree on others about rent though. Its not his home, he isn't increasing the costs, and she presumably wants to spend time with him - he is being charged to spend time with someone who wants him there, in a place he has no rights in, in a place he can be kicked out at will (rightly so, of course she should be able to do that if she wants), where she is the only person who benefits getting a home entirely belonging to her cheaper. If you want to share rent, move in together. Otherwise rents are your own personal cost of life.

Maybe read the OP’s posts before you add your comment. You don’t need to read the whole thread, but you really do need to at least read the OP’s posts.

THISnewbeginning · 14/08/2025 18:46

Well done op!

nevernotmaybe · 14/08/2025 18:44

He should be contributing something, within reason of his personal details that we don't know. Something towards electricity and water, half is too much though. And 50/50 on food etc that you share. And st least doing a bit of everyday chores.

I disagree on others about rent though. Its not his home, he isn't increasing the costs, and she presumably wants to spend time with him - he is being charged to spend time with someone who wants him there, in a place he has no rights in, in a place he can be kicked out at will (rightly so, of course she should be able to do that if she wants), where she is the only person who benefits getting a home entirely belonging to her cheaper. If you want to share rent, move in together. Otherwise rents are your own personal cost of life.

ThejoyofNC · 14/08/2025 18:42

Thank god you've ended it. Do NOT take him back.

BMW6 · 14/08/2025 18:38

Don't hesitate to call the Police if he starts harassing you. Sounds nasty if you're talking of moving.

Change your locks and get a ring camera.

Original poster
smileyxo · 14/08/2025 18:29

And he is blocked. Things got heated before he left my father and brother came over. After he left my parents said I could stay with them. I will be here until I find a new place.

OP posts:
Original poster
smileyxo · 14/08/2025 18:28

GabriellaMontez · 14/08/2025 17:04

Controlling too.

Were there other signs of this side of him?

In January I was at a family gathering and he got upset with me because I stayed longer than I said I would(I was only there 2.5 hours) I couldn’t understand why because I was just with my immediate family.

OP posts:
Bloatstoat · 14/08/2025 18:23

I'm sorry your relationship has ended, that's always hard no matter how awful the man is, but like everyone else on here I'm so glad you've got rid. Onwards and upwards OPFlowers

BMW6 · 14/08/2025 18:15

I'm SO glad you've exposed him for the atrocious twat that he is and dumped him.

I wouldn't be surprised if he now turned on a charm offensive. Don't be fooled. Just who the fuck did he think he is ?

Well done OP and never let anyone take advantage of you again.

BellissimoGecko · 14/08/2025 18:01

smileyxo · 14/08/2025 15:03

i came back to update. I’ve ended the relationship. We sat down to speak about bills and was told if he puts in he will do what he wants here. He also said I wouldn’t be able to have friends over anymore(we do girls night at each other’s place but we rotate). I didn’t appreciate his response to me asking for him to contribute some. He showed no self restraint raised his voice and swore at me. I really appreciate all of the responses.

My god. He showed his true colours.

You are well rid. stay strong.

Suednymph · 14/08/2025 17:20

Entitled twat. So happy you have gotten rid OP. Find yourself someone who wants to treat you how you deserve and not some freeloading piece of shit like this one.

GabriellaMontez · 14/08/2025 17:04

Controlling too.

Were there other signs of this side of him?

historyrepeatz · 14/08/2025 16:57

You’ve saved yourself a lot of future grief. Flowers

Lafufufu · 14/08/2025 16:56

He's unhinged.

SO glad you ended it... 🥳

grumpygrape · 14/08/2025 16:54

smileyxo · 14/08/2025 15:03

i came back to update. I’ve ended the relationship. We sat down to speak about bills and was told if he puts in he will do what he wants here. He also said I wouldn’t be able to have friends over anymore(we do girls night at each other’s place but we rotate). I didn’t appreciate his response to me asking for him to contribute some. He showed no self restraint raised his voice and swore at me. I really appreciate all of the responses.

Hurrah! You are a credit to our sex 🏆🥇

Please don't take him back.

FumbDucker · 14/08/2025 16:45

His response has shown you all you need to know! What a creepy little incel…

Alacartemenu · 14/08/2025 16:33

smileyxo · 14/08/2025 15:03

i came back to update. I’ve ended the relationship. We sat down to speak about bills and was told if he puts in he will do what he wants here. He also said I wouldn’t be able to have friends over anymore(we do girls night at each other’s place but we rotate). I didn’t appreciate his response to me asking for him to contribute some. He showed no self restraint raised his voice and swore at me. I really appreciate all of the responses.

You dodged a bullet. he has the potential to turn into a full on controlling abuser. Block him so he can't hoover you in again.