Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Child's consent for medical treatment..

66 replies

PamIsAVolleyballChamp · 13/08/2025 23:04

Am hoping this comes across coherent but really upset from what a friend has said re my child and getting his 'consent' re treatment.
Our ds was born at 35 weeks, was in Nicu and still under 3 different consultant so hospital is our life and have clinics every 12 weeks. One of my colleagues has today told me it's abusive not to seek dcs consent before he has any tests or treatment and that we've been wrong for letting the paeds team do his surgery at 9 months without his expressed consent. How could he do that??

OP posts:
Groundhogday2025 · 13/08/2025 23:18

Your colleague is barking mad. You’re following expert medical advice to give him the best chance of a healthy, happy life. You aren’t tattooing swear words on his forehead just for the sake of it!
And he’s a baby. It is, in fact, your duty and responsibility to make those important decisions for him until he is old enough to consent for himself.

I wouldn’t give this woman’s odd opinions even a second more thought.

Saz12 · 13/08/2025 23:18

She's crazy. And I too am sorry to here what a gard time you & your wee one has had.

You could just tell her "but of course we made sure to get his consent first!" in an offended way.

purpleme12 · 13/08/2025 23:17

BuffetTheDietSlayer · 13/08/2025 23:14

Why are you upset? You should be laughing. What your friend/colleague said is just bonkers.

This

I mean come on that comment is so stupid it's not even worth thinking about is it

Scottishskifun · 13/08/2025 23:16

Your colleague is an idiot! Your the parent and the medical profession would not suggest a procedure that wasn't required.

DS1 also had surgery at 9 months and was in neonatal unit as a newborn. I get it's scary the next response to your colleague is f off!

Kibble19 · 13/08/2025 23:15

She’s a fucking moron.

Probably from the same bunch of unhinged people who want parents to get consent to change their newborn’s nappy.

InfoSecInTheCity · 13/08/2025 23:15

A person cannot give consent until they can understand the ramifications of the decisions they are making.

”In legal terms, consent is a voluntary and affirmative agreement to engage in a specific action, often with the understanding that it is freely given and informed. It requires both the capacity to make the decision and the freedom from coercion, duress, or undue influence. Essentially, it means someone willingly agrees to something, without being pressured or forced”

A baby cannot give consent, parents do that on their behalf. She’s an idiot.

BuffetTheDietSlayer · 13/08/2025 23:14

Why are you upset? You should be laughing. What your friend/colleague said is just bonkers.

Sausagescanfly · 13/08/2025 23:13

So children who are too young to consent don't get medical treatment. Yeah, that makes sense and is entirely ethical.

Presumably there are medical treatments that can wait and in some circumstances that is a good idea. What would fall into that category? Removing an extra finger that is completely functional? There must be things like that, but presumably most medical treatments don't fall into that kind of category.

WhereIsMyJumper · 13/08/2025 23:13

I think your colleague might be on crack. She’s talking absolute bullshit.

CarterBeatsTheDevil · 13/08/2025 23:13

Your colleague is a twat. I'm so sorry you're having to contend with this unspeakable idiocy whilst your son is in NICU.

JDM625 · 13/08/2025 23:11

I'm sorry for DS was in NICU and has struggles.

I work in a medical field and have worked with children and parents. I'd love to know how your colleague expects you to get consent from a baby? Your colleague sounds unhinged and their comments are not true! Please ignore their advice or any suggestions they have.

Strawberryorangejuice · 13/08/2025 23:11

He's a baby. Your colleague is nuts

Rainbows41 · 13/08/2025 23:10

Consent is for those over the age of 13.

BarnOwlFlying · 13/08/2025 23:10

I think a child is deemed competent to give consent at 12 (Gillick competent). Until then you’re in charge and you make decisions in the child’s best interest, guided by doctors.

AnnaMagnani · 13/08/2025 23:08

Your colleague is an idiot.

vodkaredbullgirl · 13/08/2025 23:06

Ignore her