Child's consent for medical treatment..

Your colleague is an arsehole.

Your colleague is batshit.

So I take it her children don’t have vaccines, calpol, eye tests, hearing tests etc until they turn eleven?

Does she also think the Earth is flat?
Ignore her, OP.

Your colleague has serious issues, but those are not your concern. Your only concern is making sure your child is looked after, and that's what you're doing. Time to ask your HR team to have a word and be very firm of the colleague approaches you again "I want you to keep your uninformed personal opinions to yourself in future, please only talk with me about work."

Young children often might not want to wash their hands, have a bath, go to bed, learn to write, take antibiotics, eat vegetables, be left with childcare and myriad other small things, yet parents have to make decisions on their behalf based on wider knowledge. A 9 month old can object to a nappy change, which doesn't mean it's in their interests to be left sitting in poo, in fact that would still be neglect. Work with doctors on what's best for your child medically.

What a ridiculous fool your "friend" is. Not just for the stupid comments but to be so insensitive to your difficult situation and deliberately make you feel worse at a vulnerable time makes her truly awful. She's a twat of the highest order and needs to be told to bugger off.

My nephew was born deaf. Cochlear implant surgery before the age of 12 months was his best opportunity to be able to hear and speak. So of course his parents made that choice on his behalf. If they had waited for "consent" he would have been too old to gain maximum benefit. Your friend is absolutely ridiculous.

Back in the days of me working in cardiology we were called in.

When the patient came down from the ward he was writhing in pain and couldn't sign the consent form and might not have even known where he was.

As a team we agreed that it was in his best interests to be treated in the cath lab.

It's not common but it does happen.

A similar thing happens when someone comes in to A and E unconscious.

It isn't just 'consent' it is 'informed consent', your child is too young to understand so even if you could ask him he doesn't understand.

You are his advocate and your colleague need to butt out.

In fact ask your colleague if she were to suddenly have an epileptic fit would she like you to call an ambulance and put him/her in the recovery position? That is medical treatment without consent.

your friend is bat shit!

Wait are you really referring to a 9 month old here? How can he consent, babies don’t understand the concept of medical treatment and informed consent?

My 5 year old has been receiving cardiac treatment all her life. She absolutely hates it and every test / admission / treatment is traumatic and frankly we have to do a lot of holding her down. What do I do instead? Do nothing and let her become seriously unwell or worse?

Your friend is a dick

She's a raving lunatic!

Just tell her that you talked him through it, he read some research papers then he completed and signed his consent form.

It's no more ridiculous than what she's saying.

I would have a hard time having any respect for anything that colleague ever said again.

I’m sure your emotions are on overdrive dealing with everything, so understand why even such an utterly stupid comment might tip you over the edge. Your colleague’s lack of compassion is also despicable. But PP is right that it’s a laughable comment and not worthy of your upset.

Wishing you and your baby all the best and hope things go as well as they possibly can for you.

it's sad to loose a friend, you will have to ditch this one. she's shown her true idiotic colors.

Your colleague has been reading (and also misunderstood!) Janet Lansbury, who advises parents to tell their babies what they are going to do before changing their nappies, and to describe what they are doing as they are doing it. The idea, I think, is to show respect for the baby as a unique individual rather than just a thing to have something done to it, as it acknowledges their presence and potential feelings about the situation.

There was also a "sexuality expert" a couple of years ago who talked about asking for consent when nappy changing, although her words got over-emphasised and taken out of context - but of course, it's a ridiculous concept! Her point was basically to drill / brainwash parents through repetition literally from day 1 the idea of the child/baby having bodily autonomy and laying a groundwork for the concept of consent much later on. The baby/child grows up expecting to be asked before anyone touches their body and knowing it's okay to say no. Of course, given the fact that "May I clean your teeth now?" is popular in so many houses with small children, I am sure they would also grow up with appalling dental issues, but hey ho.

Your colleague has no idea how ridiculous this is when talking about NICU babies, or how hurtful. Did she actually use the word abusive? If so, I would seriously be considering making a complaint to your manager and / or HR.

I'm so sorry your colleague has added to the stress,worries and emotional storm you are living with right now. I hope your little one is okay.

We used to get ASSENT (not CONSENT) from children between about 12 and 16 for some things (like medical/clinical trials). I might be off of the exact ages (it's been a while since I was in that world) but basically when they were old enough to understand/have opinions but too young to be signing their own consent (so, maybe it was up 18 and could have been older than 12 at the younger end). I think that this was required when it was an NIH trial, but we did it other times as well. I don't actually know what happens if the kid doesn't give consent as it isn't legally binding.

However, your friend is totally idiotic when you're talking about an infant. Also, these were clinical trials, so, not "standard of care".

Honestly, how can someone be so idiot? OP, how you didn’t roll your eyes out of your head, I don’t know. Don’t give it a second thought, your colleague is thick as mince.

She thinks your 9 month old baby should have given consent to a medical procedure? Id love to know how the hell she thinks the doctors would go about getting that. Is she also one of these batshit people who think babies should be asked for consent for nappy changes too 🙄

My darling. Some people are fucking morons.
This is sad. For the rest of us.

In centuries gone by these sorts would usually rid us of our burden themselves through various means.

But now we live in an age where there are nut warnings on peanuts and the advice not to use a hairdryer in a bath. And so they live and breed and we have to suffer for it.

The best thing you can do is 1. Tell said person they are a moron and your day is worse for having to share air with them.

However if this could bring on an interaction with HR I advise option 2.

1. Smile and nod and remember that said moron can't be trusted past tying their own shoe laces.

When you have had a baby in neonatal and all the stress around it plus the stress of signing the forms for GA on a baby logic easily goes out the window.

Yes agree the colleague is an idiot but given earlier and current stress it's normal to be upset by someone stating something which makes it seem like you may hurt your baby (which is what the colleague is implying around informed consent)

Gillick competence doesn't have a specific age because it can vary substantially depending on the complexity of treatment, risks and long term consequences. It can also vary by child - because they will have differing maturities and capacity to understand.

What it definitely isn't is applicable to baby or toddler. The person needs a good ignoring.

What a fucking stupid idiot.

Colleague clearly has no understanding of INFORMED consent, which is why adults are required for this purpose.

After all you've been through, that is what your colleague comes out with?! I hope you have other more supportive people around you.

💯 this! A tiny baby can’t be Fraser competent so consent if from the main care givers with Drs guidance

how the fuck does your colleague think a 9mth old can express consent