Fiancé insisting on donating sperm against my wishes

This. I can understand the mindset of wanting to be a parent to more children than one - but this is NOT that.

I wouldn’t stay with him - get ready to split from him when you can.

Your fiancé seems extremely arrogant! Does he think the world is missing out if he doesn’t spread his DNA or something? He says its because he wants lots of DC but he won’t be involved in their lives so why? If it was because he yearns for a larger family surely he would be considering adoption? (Don’t do this !) Sounds like he’s just a weirdo who loves the idea of spreading his seed!

You can’t stop him but I would consider this the end of the road for us. He’s had an affair when you had a tiny baby, pressurising you to have another child when its too risky & now this. No thought for you or your child & how this affects you especially if DC turn up in the future. He’s a nasty, arrogant, selfish man & not worthy of you.

This sounds like emotional blackmail to me. First time for me to say LTB!

Dump him.
Do it for you. You deserve better.

Thank God you are not married to him!

It would be better in the long run to end this relationship now. He wants more children yet he has already proven himself as a shit father already!

a) He has cheated on you at a time when you needed his support with a newborn.
b) He is quite happy for you to put your health at risk in order to have another child.
c) He also doesnt respecting your feelings.

More than enough reasons to go it alone. (You either do it now or after he's had another affair will he undoubtedly will do).

So he doesn't want a child with you so he can be a loving father, he just wants to have as many children as possible, in other words just spread his seed. Grim. He doesn't want to donate to help infertile couples, just fill his own weird fantasy.

He sounds on the way to having the mindset of that man from the documentary who produced as many children as possible by visiting various sperm banks over the globe, and got banned by the courts from continuing.

He has shown he does not care about your opinion or your peace of mind. The cheating and the weird reasoning for wanting to do this with no care for the consequences. Your best off out of it. Who knows what he will throw at you next

Best of luck OP

reminds me of the man with 1000 kids on netflix

I’ve read some awful things ha on here about men but I think this maybe tops them all! Honestly what the heck, he’s an absolute weirdo. I’d be leaving

Thank goodness he's only your finance and not your husband. Don't marry this man, he's not a keeper.

Keeping you in my thoughts, wishing you & DC, soon, a lovely future, hugs.

Eeew, his little soldier spreading the seed for his foul DNA to live on and continue his legacy🤢

For what it's worth, and it's not very much, clinics don't allow dozens of donations from one man like they did in the old days. This is to avoid the possibility of siblings unknowingly dating each other. The numbers are very restricted and you might get one or two more if the family wanted a full sibling for a previous donor baby. I do know of a large group of adult "diblings" from the Wild West past of the fertility industry who have the same father and meet for lunch a couple of times a year. Some of them got a bit of a shock at finding out there were so many - and to be fair their father was single at the time - but they've got used to the idea. The man concerned had one daughter from a later marriage and she sportingly agreed to a DNA test so the diblings could be sure they were also the children of the same father and they were. Of course, their father was a doctor with a degree from an Ivy League college and good looking - your vile soon to be ex-fiancé may not be that sought after.

He's had the affair! He has not donated the sperm yet. Months has been and gone since then , doesn't matter if he fathered a child out of that affair or not, op knows about the affair. You would only do this to cover up a child born as a result of an affair when your trying to cover up the affair. 🤦‍♀️

it is his life goal to have lots of children

Children he doesn't have to see or pay for?

It does seem that he's trying to get you to change your mind.

Even if you did there's not guarantee that he wouldn't carry on.

He's hardly trustworthy is he?

Sounds like he wants to cover up any children he may have had with other people potentially through cheating by being able to claim in future they were donor children 😖

Is he donating sperm directly to the women involved????

Interesting article on the ethics of this. It also seems sperm donation is not straightforward in that clinics have to offer counselling, and married men would likely be counselled to discuss their potential donation with their partner. Not sure how well OP’s partner would be received if there was a suspicion he was using the threat of sperm donation to try to coerce his wife into having another child, despite it being a risk to her health.

https://www.progress.org.uk/one-womans-campaign-spousal-consent-for-sperm-donation/

You are his incubator not his partner.

Deal breaker for me too. I can’t believe how itterly selfish he is being. It’s like he is trying to prove a point that you can’t medically have more dc, but he can do whatever the heck he wants. His complete disregard for your feelings would be a relationship ender for me. Sorry!

Very sorry for you OP. I don’t think this DF is going to change. This much damage has already been done to you & he intends more. People get worse/more set in their ways, as they get older. I suggest in gentlest way, you need part company with him, soon as poss.

Sounds like he’s trying to force you to have another child with him as the best of 2 bad options.

Why ? He was having an affair while OP was pregnant and her child is at school now. Perfectly possible he knows he fathered a child as a result.

This will be a dealbreaker for me

But the dates would not match up 🤔