Fiancé insisting on donating sperm against my wishes

I wonder if he's got someone else pregnant and using that as an excuse for when it comes to light?

Yep. And someone suggested earlier, he is already proven to be cheating scum, so he might also be hoping to have a plausible excuse for more children turning up out of the blue in the future with his DNA.

Leave him. Then he can do what he wants with his sperm. What a twat.

You poor thing, really, sending hugs. I hope you escape him swiftly and without too much hassle. You deserve peace and happiness.

Of course choosing whether to have an abortion or continue a pregnancy has implications for the partner and any existing children, what a ridiculous statement. If a woman chooses to continue a pregnancy that child will become the sibling and son/ daughter of the existing children and partner and will of course have implications on their current lives, it’s ridiculous to suggest otherwise.

I do agree choosing to donate sperm should involve a discussion with the partner rather than happen behind their back, but ultimately it is the male’s decision whether he chooses to go through with it. It does sound like OP’s partner has discussed it with her but they haven’t agreed. He wants to do it, OP doesn’t want him to do it - in that case of course the final decision is with him. And yes, he’s free to do it even if it’s a deal breaker for OP but obviously he has to accept that the relationship is over. It’s absolutely okay for him to decide having more biological offspring is more important to him than continuing a relationship with a partner who doesn’t want to allow him to have more children. I’d say the same if the roles were reversed and it was a woman either wanting to donate eggs, carry a surrogate baby or continue with a pregnancy against a current partner’s wishes.

His weird obsession with proliferating the planet with his children is bizarre does he think he’s nick cannon?

do not have any more kids with him

I don't think this is really a 'his body his choice' situation. He's punishing and manipulating the OP because she is actually exercising her right to choice re having more children.

I second all the other posters who've said what a deeply disturbed man your fiancé is, who clearly cares absolutely nothing about you, or your son.

Not diminishing just how hard leaving a partner is, or becoming a single parent, but I think you will be giving yourself – and your son – a great gift by leaving this man.

Well thats all I was trying to point out. I didnt say anyone said it was a good idea 🤦‍♀️

YABU to remain in a relationship with this person

OP, I am so sorry you are going through this. Like most others I feel he's a wrong 'un.

I won’t repeat what is pretty much the consensus here but it brought to mind the Dutch Dr. , Jan Karbaat

BBC Documentary Jan Karbaat

SiameseBlueEyes, was this the guy ?

Wiki link Donald Cline

I don't think anyone is suggesting it's a good plan! He might be stupid enough to think it though.

I said that on the basis he’s asked OP to have another child. But clearly having your own child and donating sperm for someone else to, and you never knowing that child are 2 completely different things.

So agree with others, it’s a ruse to cover an infidelity

@Shitehound sounds like he's trying to cover something up obviously - he's got someone else pregnant (not via a laboratory based sperm donation) and it's going to come to light.

Flush this turd down the pan and find yourself a decent guy.

Sounds like he’s covering his bases should an illegitimate child be born he can blame it on sperm donation and not an affair. So sorry you have to deal with this.

I voted YABU because you are being unreasonable by staying still with this creep.

At some point (fairly soon) he is going to find (a) different woman(/women) who wants to have several babies and dump you for her (once you find out about her, as he doesn't actually want to live with the many babies and you are nice to have around).
Leave now while the going is good and you haven't had the additional trauma layered on.

I wondered the same. Or he's just found out he's got someone pregnant and is stupidly trying to create a cover story.

He cheated and that’s one of the reasons you don’t want anymore children with him.
So he’s decided he’s going to have them anyway. It sounds like games are being played. Where you are both against each other when you should be together. Maybe it’s best to walk away if you don’t agree or want the same things. Is he trying to hurt you because you won’t do what he wants?

He sounds absolutely gross.

You need to get away from this “man”. Sometimes it’s difficult to see when you’re on the inside, but I promise you, you are worth so so much more than this.

You sure he wants to "raise" more children?

You need to leave OP. He wants another child to raise and he won’t accomplish that just by donating sperm so it’s clear he will cheat on you again and get someone else pregnant.

With DNA ancestry testing, anonymity is no longer possible, and our child could end up with half siblings all over the world. The donor children may get in contact with our family in the future, seems like emotional turmoil waiting to happen and a massive shock for our own child. He’s already started the process and is putting his foot down.

Is he donating through a licensed UK clinic? If so, the chances are that he won't make it through the screening process. I know of a UK sperm bank that only accepts around 1 in 8 or 1 in 9 potential donors. Even if he does make it through, there's no guarantee that a recipient will choose him or that the treatment will result in any births.

If he does end up donating to a licensed UK clinic, then he will be able to write to the HFEA to find out the number, sex and year of birth of any children he has fathered via donation. I don't think this applies if his sperm was exported to an overseas clinic. However, I don't think this would happen without his consent, either.

If your child does end up with donor half-siblings, you could get advice from the Donor Conception Network about how to talk to them about this from a young age. It needn't come as a massive shock and it might not result in any emotional turmoil. Your child might welcome the idea, (especially if they might be able to meet their half-siblings one day), or they might actually be uninterested in the whole thing.

Sounds like a cover story to explain away future ancestry DNA matches

This