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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Didn’t get job

217 replies

tiredsotired6 · 13/08/2025 22:27

I’ve been working as a temp for one company for over a year. They’ve been very happy with my work, giving me a lot of good feedback. A few people (including the manager) have said they would really like me to be on permanent staff as I do a great job.

Anyway, a few months ago a perm role came up, which was essentially my role to the letter. Having had the good feedback I decided to apply as felt I had a very good chance.

As I’m sure you’ve already guessed, I didn’t get the job. I’m now feeling like my confidence has been shot and my manager was just leading me on.

The new person has now started and seems fine but no better than me at the job. Worse still, I’ve been asked to help them out if they have any questions about how to do the job that I’ve been doing for over a year.

The result is that a job I used to look forward to every day has now left me feeling deflated and upset. I now dread work and generally just feel my confidence has been shattered.

AIBU and WWYD?

OP posts:
DancefloorAcrobatics · 14/08/2025 07:08

My place does this sometimes.

It's simply because we need both temp and permanent staff.

Our recruitment process is very rigid so it is actually easier to get permanent staff in comparison to reliable temp staff.

There is also a budget thing that means if we employ the temp staff we will loose this position for a short while until the position is approved and person replaced.

Just out of interest are you on contract that gets renewed ever so often?

MumOfManyAliases · 14/08/2025 07:08

tiredsotired6 · 14/08/2025 06:34

Gosh I was a bit wasn’t I? Sorry. My head just feels all over the place. After temping for so long I just wanted some more stability for my family. Feel I’ve let them down.

You haven’t let your family down at all. You’ve been let down by your employer. Definitely update your CV and find somewhere that values you.

hattie43 · 14/08/2025 07:07

Stop feeling deflated OP. Get back in
the saddle positively. If they don’t want you someone else will .

Mayflower282 · 14/08/2025 07:01

How horrid of them.

Look at this as a fantastic opportunity to get out and find something better! Harness that anger and use it to benefit yourself! Have you job searched recently, or thought about further study, or a move somewhere else?

ScaryM0nster · 14/08/2025 06:58

It’s a horrible feeling.

Most places these days that go to interview for selection will score the interviews (and applications sometimes) and offer primarily based on those scores. Which ends up meaning that your year in the role doesn’t necessarily count for as much as you think it should. It sometimes gets you the interview, but the outcome relies on the interview. Recruitment scoring criteria tend to look at the long term suitability, not the first 6 months - so it’s common for someone who’s been there a while to be asked to help a new start. Even when the person who’s been there is more junior.

You feel like you’ve been led on. And you might have been. Or, the hiring process didn’t work out for you. They’re two quite different things.

I was once on the receiving end of a conversation that went along the lines of ‘you didn’t get the role, because you didn’t meet the safety critical aspects of the interview’. At the time I was doing the job as cover for someone else. Literally, sat in the seat on the site. The phone call wrapped up with ‘can you please do another 3 months of cover, and you’re doing really well’. I got an appraisal score higher than the incumbent. It was made clear we were scored against each other.

I’d missed the point on two of the interview questions, ane that was what counted. Not the previous time doing the job. Bonkers.

chatgptsbestmate · 14/08/2025 06:57

It does seem odd. There is something which makes new person better than you. It appears they're not going to tell you what it is (it could be more than one thing)

If the companys interview process isn't structured , then it's unlikely to be the way you interviewed.

But something new person said or did at interview made them employ her over you

It's really upsetting for you.

I would start applying for new jobs. And stop doing unpaid overtime

MollyButton · 14/08/2025 06:51

I was in a similar position a few months back. The interview process was against strict criteria so it didn’t feel as personal. But I did ask for feedback and also guidance on how to do better next time.
I did spend sometime training my replacement but also knew that it would take her a long time to learn everything and get to my level (even though I left her notes).
But I was also able recently to use the whole episode to show “resilience and acting of feedback” in an application for another role.

EarringsandLipstick · 14/08/2025 06:49

@tiredsotired6 YANBU to feel upset, it’s very disappointing.

However, YABU about the interview process, and you don’t show a good understanding of the process.

@YetanotherNC25 has given excellent guidance here.

I have had experiences where a temporary staff member has been encouraged to apply for a role, but has not been the best candidate on the day. It’s not about ‘box ticking’, it’s about a candidate demonstrating in the interview why they are the best fit for the role. It cannot be assumed from past experience in the role - you have to show it.

But it seems really unfair that they didn’t speak to you afterwards and offer structured feedback and a pathway forward. I would have a clear honest conversation with your manager, ask to see scores (they are required to give you this detail, not just an individual piece of feedback - and the way you presented this, as something to be resolved, doesn’t sound correct either), and decide then how you feel, and if you want to look for a new role.

In the meantime, try to focus on the fact that you did enjoy the role before and can again, even if you ultimately decide to leave.

DarkForces · 14/08/2025 06:46

I've rejected internal candidates at interview. I never treat them as a box ticking exercise so whoever is the closest match to the criteria I've set out gets the job. I only go by what I'm told at the interview so past or current performance is irrelevant. It may not seem fair but when I'm recruiting for a permanent contract I get a much better pool of candidates than a temp one so they go out for open recruitment and they are judged as fairly as I can. It takes a lot of time and effort to apply for a job so no one is ever a shoe in. I like to do an unseen test too as it's too easy to blag your way through questions. I'm sorry it's painful but it's not personal. I would try to be sensitive though and not ask you to train them up.

eta: where a lot of internal candidates go wrong is assuming the job is theirs already and assuming I will take account of prior knowledge in their interview. They don't sell themselves and their experience so I can't score it. I try to ask follow ups so they can fill in the gaps but they often don't take the hint. If it's any consolation I've done the same. I made a real effort to support the new recruit and it was fine. I had a new, better job elsewhere within 6 months. It all worked out well

tiredsotired6 · 14/08/2025 06:38

Given you are competent enough to train the new joiner, might you trust you’d be the preferred candidate for the next perm role

I don’t think I can trust in that, no, given my experience this time round. Plus roles rarely come up unfortunately.

OP posts:
tiredsotired6 · 14/08/2025 06:34

TesChique · 13/08/2025 23:23

Youre going round in circles OP. In your shoes id have a frank, candid chat with the hiring manager, asking for actionable feedback as to why i didnt secure the role i had been doing for a year and how i now feel. Id also update my CV

Gosh I was a bit wasn’t I? Sorry. My head just feels all over the place. After temping for so long I just wanted some more stability for my family. Feel I’ve let them down.

OP posts:
AbzMoz · 14/08/2025 00:29

As well as feedback on the interview, did you ask if another full time role would be available and if so when?
(Rhetorically) Are there material salary differences/ pension etc with the full time role? And when is your temp contract up for renewal - what happens next?
Given you are competent enough to train the new joiner, might you trust you’d be the preferred candidate for the next perm role (and can they offer that without another interview process?)

Depending on the answers, I think this is likely a wake up call for you to brush up the cv and expect to move on..

Celeryedition · 14/08/2025 00:19

Screw them. You’ve done a really good job, had good feedback, and a role that they could have walked you into went to an unknown. Don’t bother yourself with anymore of their pointless drivel or in pursuit of patronising bullxxxt disguised as constructive feedback. They had their chance to keep you and for whatever reason didn’t take it. Unless it suits you to stay, start looking for somewhere that will appreciate you.

I know it’s hard not to take this personally, anyone normal would - be angry, grieve the loss of opportunity but move on. Don’t waste your time somewhere you’re clearly not valued.

BunnyLake · 13/08/2025 23:49

Very disappointing for you. When I used to temp many year’s ago now if they liked you they just gave you the job permanently, no interview needed. Things seems so much more difficult now.

Lafufufu · 13/08/2025 23:33

You just cannot know why they didnt select you so id.try not to ruminate too much.

You will always be an "uninformed minority" as there will be information and deciding factors you just arent privy to.

cherish123 · 13/08/2025 23:27

YetanotherNC25 · 13/08/2025 22:47

I had a temp staff member who was really good at the job and in this situation. She was awful at interviews and went to pieces, forgetting everything she did on a day to day basis. Her interview scores were too low to appoint her and she had so many goes at applying every time we had a vacancy, plus lots of feedback and we even sat with her to do interview coaching. We tried really hard to support her but in the end we just couldn’t give someone a job without passing the interview process.
The crazy thing was she was interviewed for the temp role and was the top scoring candidate so she’d done it before. HR wouldn’t let us passport that interview score over, as it was a FTC, although we did try!
Just because you weren’t appointed doesn’t mean you’re not valued. Ask for feedback and try again if it’s a good company and role.

"Her interview scores were too low" - suggests a flaw in the recruitment system.

MeringueOutang · 13/08/2025 23:23

This happened to me early on in my career. I was constantly complimented on my work, I was happy with the job, but I didn't get considered for the permanent role. Feedback? The top manager said he didn't want to take me on permanently because I had a degree and he thought I'd leave for something better any minute now. I'd been in the role 10 months at this point.
It was 2009. The recession. The jobs just weren't out there (and anyway I was happy with this one), so I'm not sure where he thought I'd go.
I had to spend my last 6 weeks training up someone who was completely unable to grasp the basic concepts of the job and didn't seem willing to learn it, and who no one in the building could stand.
It feels really shitty when this sort of thing happens and I hope there's something better out there for you soon.

TesChique · 13/08/2025 23:23

Youre going round in circles OP. In your shoes id have a frank, candid chat with the hiring manager, asking for actionable feedback as to why i didnt secure the role i had been doing for a year and how i now feel. Id also update my CV

Enough4me · 13/08/2025 23:22

OP is it possible you didn't sell yourself at interview?
Having interviewed in my last job I saw people often undersold themselves. For example, referred to the team effort rather than individual, had examples but under-played their role.
The worst interviewee wasn't one I interviewed but colleagues did. She'd worked temporarily for the department and had lots of positive examples but at interview she said very little of substance. She was interviewed multiple times but couldn't pretend they didn't know her. She needed to provide and describe examples of her strengths and knowledge but expected them to fill in because, "they know me".

tiredsotired6 · 13/08/2025 23:13

To add: I may not have been the most charismatic or confident at interview, but I feel I gave some good answers. If it’s solely on box ticking (which my company isn’t) that feels like a mad way to hire people. It’s basically taking on someone who can talk the talk at interview over someone who’s done the actual job (and got great feedback) for over a year. Maybe I’m being stupid or naive, but I still don’t understand it. If I was an employer I’d choose the latter every single time.

OP posts:
Lafufufu · 13/08/2025 23:13

Honestly, have a cry feel all your feelings then move onto the next thing.
From now on paid hours only, you're a contractor act like one.
Use the extra time to do your CV and get applying

tiredsotired6 · 13/08/2025 23:08

don’t get cross at the person who was appointed. None of this is their fault.

I’m not cross at them but I do feel resentful of my manager. He scribbled down about three things during the interview, so it didn’t exactly seem like a rigorous process where they were having to adhere to strict criteria or anything.

OP posts:
YetanotherNC25 · 13/08/2025 23:05

I understand you’re upset and you’re right to be if you’ve had good feedback. But a recruitment process isn’t always about box ticking. It’s about demonstrating the competency to perform the role. We’re not civil service but we also can’t give people jobs without a process that demonstrates their suitability. It leaves any organisation open to risks around favouritism, affecting culture and opening them up to claims for unfair recruitment practices. Given the ability to take prospective employers to tribunal, we have to demonstrate to all applicants that a fair process was followed and we didn’t just hand a job to a mate over a candidate who say has a protected characteristic and a higher score at interview. We’d have no defensible documentation to defend a tribunal claim if that happened.

It may not feel fair when you’re not appointed but process is there for good reasons. Stay or go, it’s up to you, but don’t get cross at the person who was appointed. None of this is their fault.

AtomHeartMotherOfGod · 13/08/2025 22:55

YANBU, and I'd leave. If you are temping it should be at most one week's notice.

They can train up the new employee if they're so fucking good over you.

tiredsotired6 · 13/08/2025 22:54

Think I repeated myself a bit there. I’m just so upset and tired.

OP posts: