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Original poster

I understand my family might read this

102 replies

Isthiscondescending · 13/08/2025 21:55

Hello I am not a regular user of the site but after trying to work it out with talking to family members and chatgpt I wanted to get objective advise.

I am recovering from a psychotic episode. During it I acted very badly towards my 18 year old son. He was rude and I inflammatory but I said and did things which were out of order the thing is I don't think my son can grasp that it was the illness really causing it. He has left my home several weeks ago.

He had said to me by text, "you were the one who said you didn't want to lose me. I suppose I am just wondering why you are making it worse for yourself." It feels like he is basically saying I value the relationship more than he does and he knows it and I just find it very rude and condescending and like there is a power play going on. He has said things like this to me before, that same tone of superiority almost and as if it is just a given that he would want to cut contact with me ?

I have tried to reach out but I know if I bring this up he will completely deny him doing this with me. He reminds me of his father sometimes.

The thing is I was just so seriously ill, it feels like I am coming round from a waking nightmare and I still feel scared and very lost at times. Every night I have the same dream that I am back in the episode. I really need my family right now and I am trying to tell my son this but I haven't had a positive response from him tonight (I did not bring the original topic up that I posted here re me thinking hr is condescending)

I am just worried about him he hasn't responded all day when I reached out and isn't picking up his calls. I do not know where he is staying, but he has told me he is definitely not going to move back home and that he cannot cope with my illness. It's making me so sad and anxious especially tonight I'm worried and I am just feeling very low in general sorry if the thread is a bit all over the place

OP posts:
LighthouseTeaCup · 13/08/2025 22:09

I'm really sorry to hear you've been so unwell. I think when we're going through hell we focus inwards more and more. It sounds like you haven't considered your son's experience of you enough.

He's still very young, take some time to think about how upsetting and scary it is to have a mum who is very unstable - not the harsh words you said in isolation - but the overall effect of having a mum who has your illness. Him moving out may be his way of protecting himself - his mental/emotional wellbeing. Not just about punishing you over his anger at your outburst.

Also you shouldn't be relying on him for emotional support. He's 18, yes, but still basically a child. Your child. He needs his mum, he doesn't need to be parenting you.

Do you have other people you can turn to for support? Friends, older family members, community mental health team?

I would stop asking things of your son and in your messages to him aim to come accoss as understanding of his pain and open to finding a way forward where contact between you is lighter. Meet in town for coffee, offer him a lift to the supermarket and buy him some bits.

MiloMinderbinder925 · 13/08/2025 22:06

You really need to focus on your recovery right now as a psychotic episode can really take it out of you. Do you have appropriate support?

I don't know what happened with your son but he's obviously shaken and may be traumatised. Don't fixate on his tone, he's a teenager and needs love and reassurance right now.

Keep the line of communication open, reassure him that you love him and do everything you can to get better: Good nutrition, therapy, medication, exercise and so on.