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AIBU?

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Original poster

Comment to air hostess

383 replies

Backfromthebrink · 13/08/2025 21:44

Just arrived on holiday and I need the wise opinions of the Mumsnet community to help me decide if I’m being super unreasonable or if I’m right to feel pissed off.

On the plane off on holiday with my DH and DD9. Half way into the journey and the air hostess (think blonde, slim, attractive) comes down the aisle selling scratch cards, Prize being another holiday. She gets to our row and DH asks for x5 tickets and cheekily says “if I win, do you come too?” to the lady selling. I’m mortified and give her an apologetic look. She gives me a somewhat sympathetic look and I’m just feeling like the biggest dickhead.

I can’t bring myself to speak to my DH out of disgust and he laughs it off and makes me feel like I’m creating a drama for no reason. Feel so upset that he would humiliate me in front of my face.

Honest opinions please. Should I have laughed along or would you be fuming? Thank you!

OP posts:
Robin67 · 14/08/2025 08:09

fluffiphlox · 13/08/2025 22:01

Who says ‘air hostess’ these days? I think you’re both from the 1970s.
Anyway, he needs to be more of a grown up.

Me. I say air hostess for individuals and cabin crew for a collective noun. I am indeed from the 70's

OP, he was being a tosser. She thought he was a tosser too, as does the hive mind of MN. He should be embarrassed, not you.

TheaBrandt1 · 14/08/2025 08:08

We saw a Hollywood A lister on a budget flight.

MumOfManyAliases · 14/08/2025 08:08

Switcher · 14/08/2025 07:56

I do because I'm 47 and I spent my childhood on planes, so it's a word I used so often that it's really hard to remember what I'm supposed to say.

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Me too.

Brunettesmorefun · 14/08/2025 08:03

StrandedInJune · 14/08/2025 06:52

Oh man, I would have just rolled my eyes and told him to stop being such an embarrassment and he would have laughed at himself and everyone would probably have been just fine. Christ almighty. This was just a cheeky comment. He is going to admire other women and hopefully you will admire other men now and then. And maybe the hostess found it a bit uncomfortable but I think most women and men can still enjoy a bit of flirtation, even in the workplace. I hope so anyway. What an incredibly dull, neutered world we are heading for if this stupid dad joke caused you to be in floods of tears. Calm the farm.

Exactly.

AmusedLilacBalonz · 14/08/2025 08:00

MisterT373 · 13/08/2025 23:19

I'm more horrified that you've pretty much admitted to flying on a budget airline.

This is so nasty and unnecessary. For a start people fly budget for all sorts of reasons, not just cost - the times could be better or it could be their 10th holiday this year. Alternatively it could be their first in 10 years that they’ve worked incredibly hard for which has been tainted by this incident - hence OP being so upset. Either way - this sort of petty elitist dig is really unhelpful

Oneborneveryminute25 · 14/08/2025 07:57

I would have rolled my eyes to the airhostess and said something along the lines of "sorry about his comment, he tries it on with everyone I'm afraid, it's all part of his small dick syndrome"

What a crap start to your holiday. So sorry @Backfromthebrink - he has much grovelling to do.

Switcher · 14/08/2025 07:56

fluffiphlox · 13/08/2025 22:01

Who says ‘air hostess’ these days? I think you’re both from the 1970s.
Anyway, he needs to be more of a grown up.

I do because I'm 47 and I spent my childhood on planes, so it's a word I used so often that it's really hard to remember what I'm supposed to say.

Movingon2024 · 14/08/2025 07:56

Tell him what a twat he was.
tell him that if he does that again, he’d better get his finances in order because you won’t tolerate disrespect like that.

then tell him that he’s doing the childcare for the day while you go to the spa/beach/shops to make it up to you.

BCBird · 14/08/2025 07:56

AugustIsNeitherHereNorThereIFeel · 14/08/2025 07:49

I would have just made him feel like a massive knob there and then. He's embarrassed you, do it back.

"Oh DH <really loud and throwing back head with a cackle> as if she'd want to go on holiday with you. She's way out of your league and everyone will think you are her dad".

Love this

BCBird · 14/08/2025 07:55

Inappropriate to her and disrespectful to u. Ignore tge ass hole and try to enjoy your holiday OP. Deal with this once rested. Be extremely calm and controlled or he may try to twist things saying u are the issue. You will have the upper hand

MumOfManyAliases · 14/08/2025 07:53

clotheslinefiasco · 14/08/2025 07:07

Really?

He made a stupid flippant comment - I'd find it eye-rolling and be a bit embarrassed for him as it's the sort of thing a creepy older bloke would say. But to be 'fuming' and have 'tears streaming down my face' over it.

FFS - get a frickin' grip. And some self respect.

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I know, right? The hysteria over one throwaway comment is mind-boggling. Yes, I would be irritated if my husband said that, but for someone to say they would actually divorce their husband and split their family up over a throwaway comment is shocking, to say the least.

AugustIsNeitherHereNorThereIFeel · 14/08/2025 07:49

I would have just made him feel like a massive knob there and then. He's embarrassed you, do it back.

"Oh DH <really loud and throwing back head with a cackle> as if she'd want to go on holiday with you. She's way out of your league and everyone will think you are her dad".

bigageap · 14/08/2025 07:48

Backfromthebrink · 13/08/2025 21:55

Thank you for your comments so far. I’m sat on the transfer coach with tears streaming down my face.

That’s an incredibly extreme reaction to a shit attempt at being a flirt/funny!

GertieLawrence · 14/08/2025 07:46

He has nose hair and halitosis doesn’t he?

Theseventhmagpie · 14/08/2025 07:41

OlympicProcrastinator · 13/08/2025 21:58

I would actually consider divorcing my husband over this. If he wants to flirt with an air hostess he can fuck off and be with one then.

I appreciate most mumsnetters would think I’m a lunatic but I posted so you know you are not alone feeling hurt and tearful.

I agree. I would be really hurt as well.

AgnesX · 14/08/2025 07:37

Hardly humiliating you. Making an arse of himself definitely.

Maybe time to have a word that this isn't clever or witty.

AndiPandiPuddinAndPie · 14/08/2025 07:25

@SereneCoralDog

well said😊.
the problem is women in their 40’s and 50’s have grown up with behaviour like this from many if not most men (in my case anyway) and so until very recently it was just the price of being a woman in a way - you learned to expect it even though we definitely didn’t like it. Also if you said anything you were seen as uptight.
the really great thing for me now is that the young women are not tolerating this shit any longer. The tide is finally turning and this is helping us older ladies too 😁. It’s wonderful to see and experience.

OlympicProcrastinator · 14/08/2025 07:19

Its not OP crying just I was talking about and you know it. Calling someone pathetic for having an emotional reaction to a partner treating them with such disrespect is plain nasty.

Having your bar set so low that such disrespectful behaviour is accepted in a relationship is arguably far more pathetic.

LastKnownSurvivor · 14/08/2025 07:18

I'd be fuming with my husband if he wasted money on five scratch cards; never mind any stupid comments to the cabin crew.

clotheslinefiasco · 14/08/2025 07:12

How is crying your eyes out at a man's stupid remark having 'higher standards'?

@OlympicProcrastinator

that is just pathetic

OlympicProcrastinator · 14/08/2025 07:10

clotheslinefiasco · 14/08/2025 07:07

Really?

He made a stupid flippant comment - I'd find it eye-rolling and be a bit embarrassed for him as it's the sort of thing a creepy older bloke would say. But to be 'fuming' and have 'tears streaming down my face' over it.

FFS - get a frickin' grip. And some self respect.

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Amazing you’d tolerate a man treating you like that and getting nothing but an eye roll while telling others with higher standards to ‘get self respect’.

reversegear · 14/08/2025 07:08

I would have said to my DH loudly “ you can apologise for your dick comment right now” and make him say sorry. Are you upset because this is the first time he’s done anything like this? Or upset because you realise your DH is a prick?

fluffiphlox · 14/08/2025 07:08

cherish123 · 13/08/2025 23:16

What else do you call them?

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Female cabin crew

clotheslinefiasco · 14/08/2025 07:07

OlympicProcrastinator · 13/08/2025 21:58

I would actually consider divorcing my husband over this. If he wants to flirt with an air hostess he can fuck off and be with one then.

I appreciate most mumsnetters would think I’m a lunatic but I posted so you know you are not alone feeling hurt and tearful.

Really?

He made a stupid flippant comment - I'd find it eye-rolling and be a bit embarrassed for him as it's the sort of thing a creepy older bloke would say. But to be 'fuming' and have 'tears streaming down my face' over it.

FFS - get a frickin' grip. And some self respect.

Fruitsherbert · 14/08/2025 06:59

tripleginandtonic · 14/08/2025 06:12

That is a total over reaction to a flippant albeit cheap comment.You're spoiling the holiday before it starts.

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You can't tell someone how to feel!
If my husband blatantly disrespected me by basically telling another woman he'd prefer her, in front of me, I'd be seriously pissed off. Added to which, I'd also just have found out that my husband is a sexist prick and shit role model to my kids.