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AIBU?

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Original poster

Comment to air hostess

383 replies

Backfromthebrink · 13/08/2025 21:44

Just arrived on holiday and I need the wise opinions of the Mumsnet community to help me decide if I’m being super unreasonable or if I’m right to feel pissed off.

On the plane off on holiday with my DH and DD9. Half way into the journey and the air hostess (think blonde, slim, attractive) comes down the aisle selling scratch cards, Prize being another holiday. She gets to our row and DH asks for x5 tickets and cheekily says “if I win, do you come too?” to the lady selling. I’m mortified and give her an apologetic look. She gives me a somewhat sympathetic look and I’m just feeling like the biggest dickhead.

I can’t bring myself to speak to my DH out of disgust and he laughs it off and makes me feel like I’m creating a drama for no reason. Feel so upset that he would humiliate me in front of my face.

Honest opinions please. Should I have laughed along or would you be fuming? Thank you!

OP posts:
cherish123 · 14/08/2025 08:49

SomeOfTheTrouble · 13/08/2025 23:17

Cabin crew. As has repeatedly been pointed out on this thread.
What would you call a male member of the cabin crew, out of interest? An ‘air host’?

Show quote history

Air steward for male.
Cabin crew is plural so would be incorrect grammatically for 1 member of staff. You could say cabin crew member.

Muffinmam · 14/08/2025 08:47

I’m not sure I would be fuming - I would be utterly mortified that I was attached to such a creepy lech of a man.

I would have asked him what was wrong with him and been utterly disgusted.

PulchritudinousLycanthrope · 14/08/2025 08:47

mycatismyworld · 13/08/2025 22:47

It was just a silly old fashioned throwaway remark, I say similar things,it's called humour, something a lot of people don't understand.

Ooofe, really? Blimey! Good luck.

Muffinmam · 14/08/2025 08:46

ForWarmPeachBird · 13/08/2025 21:46

Air hostess?

You knew what she meant.

PigletSanders · 14/08/2025 08:46

goudacheese · 13/08/2025 22:07

I interpret him to mean she would be the flight attendant if he won the prize. I would put it down to high spirits going on holiday.

Then you’d be a mug.

This man is disrespectful, of the OP and the cabin crew. He’s a throwback. We’ve moved on. Women are entitled to do their job and not be subjected to creepy comments from overconfident and inadequate men.

My vagina would clang shut like a bear trap if my H even dreamed of making a comment like this. I’m sad that so many posters don’t seem to think it’s a big deal. Sorry, but you must be in the company of low-quality men if you don’t think it’s a problem.

@Backfromthebrink, try to have a nice holiday with your child. I’d keep my distance from the H and maybe take some time to reflect on other aspects of your relationship. This is likely not in isolation.

NetZeroZealot · 14/08/2025 08:44

CleaningAngel · 14/08/2025 08:20

That's what I refer to them.as.....what should they be referred to as??

Show quote history

Flight attendants
cabin crew

landlordhell · 14/08/2025 08:40

I would be embarrassed too and wonder how he behaves towards women when you’re not with him .
Re the term air hostess. It’s commonly used and I still say it interchangeably with cabin crew. I have a friend who IS an air hostess and uses it. That’s what she is.

chatgptsbestmate · 14/08/2025 08:39

Vile man 😡

FarmGirl78 · 14/08/2025 08:36

fluffiphlox · 13/08/2025 22:01

Who says ‘air hostess’ these days? I think you’re both from the 1970s.
Anyway, he needs to be more of a grown up.

Erm...me? I wasn't even born then but I'd say air hostess. I might say Fight attendant thinking about it. I've had to read the thread to find out what the proper term is because I genuinely couldn't remember. I don't think I've ever heard a normal person in everyday conversation call them 'cabin crew'.

StrictlyFree · 14/08/2025 08:36

Squishymallows · 14/08/2025 04:40

I dunno, I can see my husband possibly doing this. I might lean over to her and say ‘sorry he doesn’t get out much’ roll my eyes and move on with my day.

Poor you. Why do you stay with a sexist pig? Do you have kids?

StrictlyFree · 14/08/2025 08:35

Anotherbeeloudglade · 14/08/2025 01:47

Don't be silly, I was just repeating back what you'd said and turning it around on you.

I can't think of anyone in real life who would NOT be disgusted by something like this you should probably up your game when it comes to friends and family. 😂😆

I think you are being unreasonable and I find it incredible that a grown woman is lecturing and scolding someone who is upset because her husband was disgusting.

I would bet good money that the flight attendant thought he was an irritating piece of shit and felt sorry for his wife, but you can keep pretending she didn't care if that pleases you.

People are allowed to reply to you and disagree with you, that's how it works.

Show quote history

I can't think of anyone in real life who would NOT be disgusted by something like this you should probably up your game when it comes to friends and family. 😂😆

I think this is a big factor. Some people are surrounded by others who are still part of the sexiest 70s mentality. Where a man makes lewd comments in the name of ‘banter’ and the women laugh it off. So of course for these kind of posters, the comments are not a big deal as it’s all they have ever known, and the OP is being ‘dramatic’. I’m so glad that the men I know do not behave like this. Even when in holiday ‘high spirits’ funnily enough.

Zempy · 14/08/2025 08:34

Have you spoken to him about his repulsive behaviour?

StrictlyFree · 14/08/2025 08:31

Nachoinseachthu · 14/08/2025 00:42

I’m finding the responses a bit uptight. Yea it’s crass / gauche, but experience has taught me that that’s better than the more insidious misogyny that hides itself behind more PC behaviour. I guess it depends on your DP, on the exact tone, etc.

I’m in Scotland and I’m pretty sure a lot of cabin crew would laugh / shrug that off as fairly lame banter and not give it more than a moment’s thought.

The cabin crew has already forgotten about this, I’m sure. I wouidn’t sweat it.

Anyone who finds it ‘upright’ needs to raise their bar. And be a better role model to the next generation. There should be zero tolerance of this misogyny. Or you are part of the problem.

StrictlyFree · 14/08/2025 08:28

what depressing responses. I am in my fifties and can see how vile and sexist the comment was. I am sure some of you saying it’s just humour are younger than me. I thought your generations were less tolerant of casual sexism and misogyny??

OP the only way I could get past this is if he genuinely reflects and realise what a patronising, sexist and creepy comment this was. Although I’m not sure I could ever find him attractive again myself.

Tidekiln · 14/08/2025 08:27

Dancingsquirrels · 14/08/2025 08:23

Police officer better than policeman / woman

Their sex is irrelevant

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And what about waiter/waitress? What are they called now? Is it just server now?

OpalHedgehog · 14/08/2025 08:23

Honestly I’d be having a word and asking him how he’d feel if someone said that to your DD in the future. Gross behaviour.

Dancingsquirrels · 14/08/2025 08:23

Horsie · 14/08/2025 06:45

I didn't know "policewoman" was bad. We say "policeman" after all.

Show quote history

Police officer better than policeman / woman

Their sex is irrelevant

BatchCookBabe · 14/08/2025 08:22

@Beammeupscotty2025

Most of the men in my life would not feel it is appropriate to say something like this!

Yes they would. Just not in front of you. Wink

I knew someone would come on here are start banging on about NAMALT though! 😂 I'm sure there are some men who wouldn't say this/act this way, (the way the OP's husband did,) and I never said 'all men,' but many of them would!

CleaningAngel · 14/08/2025 08:20

fluffiphlox · 13/08/2025 22:01

Who says ‘air hostess’ these days? I think you’re both from the 1970s.
Anyway, he needs to be more of a grown up.

That's what I refer to them.as.....what should they be referred to as??

BatchCookBabe · 14/08/2025 08:20

CleaningAngel · 14/08/2025 08:16

An air hostess is some one who works on a plane, serving drinks, food etc etc

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That poster knows that, they're just being pedantic. 🙄

"Ooooh OP don't you know it's 'cabin crew' or 'flight attendant?! What's the weather like there in the 1950s?"

They probably call actresses 'actors' too! 🙄

Beammeupscotty2025 · 14/08/2025 08:17

He’s a turd and everyone knows it.

@BatchCookBabe most of the men in my life would not feel it is appropriate to say something like this!

Thinking it who knows but actually saying it is grim.

CleaningAngel · 14/08/2025 08:16

ForWarmPeachBird · 13/08/2025 21:46

Air hostess?

An air hostess is some one who works on a plane, serving drinks, food etc etc

BatchCookBabe · 14/08/2025 08:14

@Backfromthebrink

Too late now, but if he does this again, say...

"Oh ignore him love, he still thinks he's young and handsome and all the young pretty girls fancy him. In reality they're inwardly laughing at him whilst rolling their eyes!"

Let's face it, this is a pretty accurate representation of many men over 35 (especially those who are married/married with children.

If it does carry on though, you need to nip this in the bud, and say, 'if you dispespect me again like this, you'll be forking out for a divorce lawyer!' And mean it!

Blinky21 · 14/08/2025 08:14

So he harassed a woman doing her job and you need to ask if that is acceptable

Sweetbeansandmochi · 14/08/2025 08:12

I flew Ryan Air this year and it was brilliant as long as you factor in you will need to pay extra for fast track things and luggage. The app is amazing.

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