Comment to air hostess

Nothing to do with gender politics. The terms flight attendant and cabin crew have been used within the industry for decades because ‘hostess’ has sexist connotations.

of course you can use whatever term you like, and people know what you mean.

I also think people are giving the OP a hard time over her terminology.

I'm sure she didn't mean anything by it but it's a bit hypocritical to be upset at a misogynistic comment but then use misogynistic terminology yourself. I know his comment is in a different league but it's the little things that can make a difference in changing attitudes. It's surprising how many people on this thread still think it's an acceptable term.

These are the terms used by people who do the job. I shared a flat with a flight attendant in the 1990s and even then she didn’t like being called an air hostess.

Overtly flirting with someone when you are married and your wife is sitting next to you is wrong

Overtly flirting with someone while they are at work and have asked you a work related question, is wrong, because they can't respond how they'd probably like to (fuck off you sleazy old letch)

Not caring that your wife is upset by your behaviour (when most people would be upset or uncomfortable at best) and reversing it back on them for being 'unable to take a joke' or telling them they're over reacting is wrong, and gas-lighting slightly abusive behaviour.

Why? She's clearly very hurt. OP if it means anything I would be so hurt. I'm very insecure though and I would find it extremely hurtful. I don't think you are being unreasonable. He's being very disrespectful to you, to her and clearly thinks a lot of himself!

I think this is good. Humiliate him back.

I do think tears streaming down your face is an overreaction though

I would have died of embarrassment and humiliation if my partner had said that not just in front of me but my kid as well. It’s the implication that you are this Olive type wife from On The Buses that is the boring, dowdy model that he’d rather trade in. It’s also not great male role modelling for the kid either is it?

I also think people are giving the OP a hard time over her terminology. She was clearly upset when writing her post. Having grown up in the 1970s my brain automatically thinks “air hostess” too, before I self correct. Mumsnet doesn’t let you edit after a few minutes either.

I didn't say there was anything wrong with waiting staff. It's a job I've done myself. But they don't have anything like the same training as a flight attendant and it's ridiculous to suggest that they do.

Yes your DH was being a dick - just wondering how old he is? This is the kind of 'bants' I would expect from a 70 year old.

Is your DH a 'lads lads lads' type of person?

Please educate him that this type of 'joke' belongs back in the 80s

And in the past only women would do this job. So the term air hostess was what was used.

To be honest this would be enough for an eye roll but nothing more! I wouldn’t be that bothered but I’m quite old

But men and women both apply for cabin crew or waiting jobs regardless of the words air hostess and waitress. The only reason nowadays for not referring to the male or female would be that we have more people who are non binary or trans.

Next time (becuase there will be) just reply - Eww, that sounded funnier in your head.
Embarrassment shifted firmly back to the guilty party aka DH.

Not the most offensive comment ever but obviously inappropriate. For me it’s the hypocrisy really. I think the type of man that think this kind of flirty/“funny” comment is all fine is often the same type that would go especially overboard if the roles were reversed.

Anyway I guess how I’d react would depend on whether it was a one off foot in mouth moment (holiday high spirits as someone put it), or part of a pattern of how he communicates/relates to women generally.

Why, there is nothing wrong with being waiting staff? They too would have to be familiar with health and safety protocols and have excellent interpersonal skills. I remember the obviously sexist and derisory 'trolly dolly' label but cannot get worked up about 'air hostess'.

I'd just say waiter

Also, actor

Also doctor

Someone's doing a job. their sex doesn't matter

And not referring to sex also helps to encourage a wider pool to apply eg referring to dinner ladies in a school keeps people thinking it's a job for women. Call them catering staff and men will apply too

It’s not just insulting to you OP. She’s a professional doing her job and he sexualised her to her face whilst she’s doing that job.

He’s an arse.

I disagree. Air hostess makes it sound like they are only there to serve which isn't the case. There's a lot more to the job. It's unfair to compare them to waiting staff.

So is the fiftieth time you've hear him come out with shite like this, this year alone or is it out of character @Backfromthebrink ? How to move forward depends on context.

My DH was a bit flirty with a shop assistant on our honeymoon and I went straight back to our accommodation. He lamely came back and I put him straight that if this was how he was going to carry on, I was going home and getting out of the marriage immediately. He has never done it since and in fact, on getting to know him better (after 25 years of marriage) it was totally out of character. I have no clue what he was thinking that day and I don't think he did either.

You see this is why I couldn’t be married or in a relationship as I’m too jealous. I have no problem in admitting that. I’d go raving mad if my partner found another women as attractive as me let alone more attractive. I’d be ranting and raving on the bloody Plane. They’d end up having to land it at the nearest Airport and throw me off.

No you would say flight attendant.

I would be mortified that I’d accidentally married Benny hill

It doesn't matter, we knew what she meant. There is nothing wrong with air hostess. What do you call restaurant waiting staff 'hospitality crew'?

Then you’d be a mug.

Exactly!!! 👏👏👏

Op. Im sorry this happened! Your husband is disgusting, sorry he is. On every level, it was disr to the staff member on the place but also just as important is , it was disrespectful to you. Its not a joke. He wanted to flirt with this woman and if I were you id be telling so as well and dont back down , what he did wad vile.