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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Comment to air hostess

383 replies

Backfromthebrink · 13/08/2025 21:44

Just arrived on holiday and I need the wise opinions of the Mumsnet community to help me decide if I’m being super unreasonable or if I’m right to feel pissed off.

On the plane off on holiday with my DH and DD9. Half way into the journey and the air hostess (think blonde, slim, attractive) comes down the aisle selling scratch cards, Prize being another holiday. She gets to our row and DH asks for x5 tickets and cheekily says “if I win, do you come too?” to the lady selling. I’m mortified and give her an apologetic look. She gives me a somewhat sympathetic look and I’m just feeling like the biggest dickhead.

I can’t bring myself to speak to my DH out of disgust and he laughs it off and makes me feel like I’m creating a drama for no reason. Feel so upset that he would humiliate me in front of my face.

Honest opinions please. Should I have laughed along or would you be fuming? Thank you!

OP posts:
Emilysmum90 · 14/08/2025 12:16

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WearyAuldWumman · 14/08/2025 12:07

In the OP's place, I'd be having a sharp word with her DH.

Re: terminology.

I'd say that "attendant" suggests subservience from an etymological point of view, whereas "hostess" or "host" suggests that the aircraft is the person's domain. The expression "cabin crew" is probably the most neutral term, though the last time that I was on a plane the pilot seemed to use it mean all the staff, including those flying the plane.

So far as pp's point about "police officer" etc being "easier", I'm not so sure. There are times when you do need to be gender specific, and I'd say that "female police officer" is a bit more of a "mouthful" than "policewoman".

FamilyPhoto · 14/08/2025 12:04

landlordhell · 14/08/2025 11:16

Well, that’s their main job.

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No its not.
Safety is their main responsibility on board.
Educate yourself, preferably before you spout more crap.

Tidekiln · 14/08/2025 12:03

Petitchat · 14/08/2025 11:18

Obviously yes they do!

They have to put up with stupid remarks being made, like OP'S DH.

I suppose this is generalising but in my opinion, most men are unable to ever mature properly, as women do.

Years ago, I was standing in an amusement arcade with DD in pushchair.
Waiting for DH who was in the loo.
Two men who worked in the arcade made comments about me, such as my "good assets"
Expected my usually sensible DH to go and complain, but he laughed and said it was a compliment.
I was fuming!

This is what I mean, never mature properly.

Know how you feel OP, it's bloody humiliating and absolutely no need for it!

Edited
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If your DH is the sensible type I'm not surprised he didnt want to approach two men in an amusement arcade to tell them off. Could have resulted in him getting a sore face! Or worse! It's not worth it for a few comments.

Ownerofbagpuss · 14/08/2025 12:00

Main reason cabin crew are onboard is for safety. Onboard service is just used to try and keep the chickens quiet & distracted during the flight. My time as cabin crew finished due to a pretty serious incident. Amazing how passengers suddenly respect you when things go wrong. However after that and many years of flying with a lack of respect by many passengers, I was more than happy to leave. When people ask do I miss it, I miss my colleagues but that’s about all.

fluffiphlox · 14/08/2025 11:59

hattie43 · 14/08/2025 11:49

What a loser you are . Not only has the OP had to put up with an idiot husband she comes on here hoping for some empathy and you turn up .
God, women moan about misogyny yet they are often each others worst enemy .

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Keep your hair on. This is AIBU not Relationships.
This woman has married a creepy loser. She needs to read him the riot act not sit sobbing on a transfer bus.

hattie43 · 14/08/2025 11:49

fluffiphlox · 13/08/2025 22:01

Who says ‘air hostess’ these days? I think you’re both from the 1970s.
Anyway, he needs to be more of a grown up.

What a loser you are . Not only has the OP had to put up with an idiot husband she comes on here hoping for some empathy and you turn up .
God, women moan about misogyny yet they are often each others worst enemy .

fluffiphlox · 14/08/2025 11:48

I have come in for some stick about challenging the dated use of ‘air hostess’. Cabin crew/flight attendants have to have fairly rigorous training, they are responsible for all our safety and have to deal with some frightful behaviour (like that of the man in question). So let’s not demean their job. I’m not for one minute condoning his attempt at ‘ bants’.

landlordhell · 14/08/2025 11:41

IntoTheFringe · 14/08/2025 11:31

Good for her. Mine works for BA.

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My point is I’m not commenting as a passenger

Funnywonder · 14/08/2025 11:41

Gloriia · 14/08/2025 10:44

No. People who serve food and refreshments like waiting staff and cabin staff aren't servants in the sense you mean.

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I know!

Ownerofbagpuss · 14/08/2025 11:39

Even though it’s nearly 25 years ago since I stopped being cabin crew I would find that highly offensive both to the cabin crew member and to yourself. Maybe what men got away with 30 yrs ago, but not now.

IntoTheFringe · 14/08/2025 11:31

landlordhell · 14/08/2025 11:25

My friend is Virgin crew .

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Good for her. Mine works for BA.

landlordhell · 14/08/2025 11:25

IntoTheFringe · 14/08/2025 11:18

It's easy to assume that because it's what you see as a passenger. But it is one of many jobs, not their main job at all.

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My friend is Virgin crew .

VIOLETPUGH · 14/08/2025 11:24

Hes a creep, yuck !

IntoTheFringe · 14/08/2025 11:18

landlordhell · 14/08/2025 11:16

Well, that’s their main job.

Show quote history

It's easy to assume that because it's what you see as a passenger. But it is one of many jobs, not their main job at all.

Petitchat · 14/08/2025 11:18

IntoTheFringe · 14/08/2025 11:01

You called them cabin staff! Progress! Now you just need to accept they do more than serve food and refreshments...

Show quote history

Obviously yes they do!

They have to put up with stupid remarks being made, like OP'S DH.

I suppose this is generalising but in my opinion, most men are unable to ever mature properly, as women do.

Years ago, I was standing in an amusement arcade with DD in pushchair.
Waiting for DH who was in the loo.
Two men who worked in the arcade made comments about me, such as my "good assets"
Expected my usually sensible DH to go and complain, but he laughed and said it was a compliment.
I was fuming!

This is what I mean, never mature properly.

Know how you feel OP, it's bloody humiliating and absolutely no need for it!

landlordhell · 14/08/2025 11:16

IntoTheFringe · 14/08/2025 11:01

You called them cabin staff! Progress! Now you just need to accept they do more than serve food and refreshments...

Show quote history

Well, that’s their main job.

IntoTheFringe · 14/08/2025 11:01

Gloriia · 14/08/2025 10:44

No. People who serve food and refreshments like waiting staff and cabin staff aren't servants in the sense you mean.

Show quote history

You called them cabin staff! Progress! Now you just need to accept they do more than serve food and refreshments...

Petitchat · 14/08/2025 11:00

Screamingabdabz · 13/08/2025 22:07

I have family that are cabin crew. They regard men like your husband as detestable slime.

Bit over the top?

IntoTheFringe · 14/08/2025 10:59

Netcurtainnelly · 14/08/2025 10:33

It was up to her to come back with some banter, or a lighthearted retort.

Your taking it on board too much.

No one should be required to "banter" while doing their job. It was up to her husband to not make such a comment in the first place. Sadly he failed.

Emilysmum90 · 14/08/2025 10:49

TesChique · 13/08/2025 21:57

Thats a bit much

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No it bloody isn't.

I had an ex boyfriend who used to shamelessly flirt with other women right in front of me and it was fucking horrible.

Hope you are ok OP, that would've been bad enough if you hadn't been there, but whilst you were sat right beside him was just vile to both you and her. He owes you a massive apology and I wouldn't speak to him again until I got one. Does he often treat you with so little respect?

Gloriia · 14/08/2025 10:44

Funnywonder · 14/08/2025 10:28

So … servants then?

Show quote history

No. People who serve food and refreshments like waiting staff and cabin staff aren't servants in the sense you mean.

dogcatkitten · 14/08/2025 10:44

Just a bit of stupid banter, was she really likely to say, 'Oh yes please', it wasn't a serious proposal (or is he that gorgeous all women fall at his feet). I've heard older women say similar to attractive men meaning absolutely nothing by it. Why should you be mortified it was him making an ass of himself.

QueenProtea · 14/08/2025 10:43

MisterT373 · 13/08/2025 23:19

I'm more horrified that you've pretty much admitted to flying on a budget airline.

Fuck off you chauvinist pig.

Fountofwisdom · 14/08/2025 10:43

FrenchLavendar · 14/08/2025 10:34

I would have barely noticed a comment like that. Obviously meant in jest. Spoken and instantly forgotten. It maybe would have achieved a slight eye roll from me but then I would have got back to my reading and thought no more of it.

Bloody hell, you’ve set your bar low