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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Comment to air hostess

383 replies

Backfromthebrink · 13/08/2025 21:44

Just arrived on holiday and I need the wise opinions of the Mumsnet community to help me decide if I’m being super unreasonable or if I’m right to feel pissed off.

On the plane off on holiday with my DH and DD9. Half way into the journey and the air hostess (think blonde, slim, attractive) comes down the aisle selling scratch cards, Prize being another holiday. She gets to our row and DH asks for x5 tickets and cheekily says “if I win, do you come too?” to the lady selling. I’m mortified and give her an apologetic look. She gives me a somewhat sympathetic look and I’m just feeling like the biggest dickhead.

I can’t bring myself to speak to my DH out of disgust and he laughs it off and makes me feel like I’m creating a drama for no reason. Feel so upset that he would humiliate me in front of my face.

Honest opinions please. Should I have laughed along or would you be fuming? Thank you!

OP posts:
Iwantamarshmallowman · 13/08/2025 22:36

TesChique · 13/08/2025 21:57

Thats a bit much

Show quote history

No It isnt. He humiliated her and I expect it won't end there.

BitOutOfPractice · 13/08/2025 22:35

Backfromthebrink · 13/08/2025 21:55

Thank you for your comments so far. I’m sat on the transfer coach with tears streaming down my face.

That is, no matter how cringey his comment, a really disproportionate response.

Horses7 · 13/08/2025 22:34

YANBU
UGH!!!

Lucyintheskywithdiamonnds · 13/08/2025 22:33

OlympicProcrastinator · 13/08/2025 21:58

I would actually consider divorcing my husband over this. If he wants to flirt with an air hostess he can fuck off and be with one then.

I appreciate most mumsnetters would think I’m a lunatic but I posted so you know you are not alone feeling hurt and tearful.

Yes. I feel the same. Totally gross, and embarrassing in that OP has to suffer pity from the air hostess.

Has he behaved like this before? One off? Thoughtless dickhead. He was only thinking about himself and trying to impress her with how hilarious he is. Didn’t care about you or your feelings. Why? Yuk. Humiliating, well that’s how I’d feel. Humiliated that I’m with such a grim character. Other women who overheard him would feel sorry for his wife.

I expect others on here will think that’s an overreaction. It isn’t. It’s an appropriate response to a significant representation of how this man feels (or doesnt) about his wife.

SaulHudsonDavidJones · 13/08/2025 22:33

fluffiphlox · 13/08/2025 22:01

Who says ‘air hostess’ these days? I think you’re both from the 1970s.
Anyway, he needs to be more of a grown up.

Grow up 🙄

ButtonMoonLoon · 13/08/2025 22:32

My first thought was:
If he says stuff like that in front of you, I dread to think what he says when you’re not around.

ScorchingEgg · 13/08/2025 22:31

There’s so many things wrong with this. The first is how utterly disrespectful and power-trippy it is to say this to a woman doing her job. It’s just revolting. The second is how terrible and disrespectful it is to you, his wife, to belittle you in front of someone like this. The third is that other people definitely would have heard, so he seemingly doesn’t care about being this person in public. And the last is that his daughter heard this - this is how her father sees women generally, and is happy to treat her mother. This is the type of crap that stays with girls as they grow. He’s modelling what she should find acceptable for women to put up with from men.

I would be very hurt for myself, OP, and I would also be livid for the other reasons too. You’re definitely not being unreasonable. I’m so sorry.

PinchOfVom · 13/08/2025 22:31

Sort of shit my dad did

in the 80s 🙄

What
A
Loser

id tell EVERYONE in front of him too

PilatesAndLattes · 13/08/2025 22:30

TesChique · 13/08/2025 21:57

Thats a bit much

Show quote history

No it isn’t! Her husband humiliated her and made her feel unattractive and uncared for. I’d be leaving after that.

3luckystars · 13/08/2025 22:28

It’s embarrassing but I wouldn’t be crying over it.

Maray1967 · 13/08/2025 22:25

OlympicProcrastinator · 13/08/2025 21:58

I would actually consider divorcing my husband over this. If he wants to flirt with an air hostess he can fuck off and be with one then.

I appreciate most mumsnetters would think I’m a lunatic but I posted so you know you are not alone feeling hurt and tearful.

You’re not alone. I would have hit the bloody roof and he would be seriously regretting it now.

Inertia · 13/08/2025 22:25

He’s not cheeky. Small children and puppies might have their misdemeanours written off as cheeky.

Your husband’s behaviour was slimy and disrespectful, both to you and to the flight attendant. I’d have called him out for his disrespectful comments at the time.

waterrat · 13/08/2025 22:25

It'd staggeringly disrespectful as well as grotesquely misogynistic and just sad behaviour.

Ill take a guess its not thr only problem with his behaviour.

GoldPoster · 13/08/2025 22:25

I can’t decide if you’re fuming because you feel slighted or because it was an extremely sexist thing to say. Your DH must have missed the lessons

MrsTerryPratchett · 13/08/2025 22:24

Tell him that if he gets put on the no fly list for sexually harassing the staff, you’ll be flying alone next time.

Disrespectful, sexist twat. Urg.

YourUglySister · 13/08/2025 22:24

He’s embarrassing. As a youngster I did a lot of restaurant type work and would feel very uncomfortable when older men made comments in front of their wives / partners. What do they hope to happen, surely they can’t think you will respond and even a joke of that nature is hugely disrespectful to everyone concerned.

Chat2025 · 13/08/2025 22:24

Deleted as posted twice.

Dangermoo · 13/08/2025 22:23

Backfromthebrink · 13/08/2025 21:55

Thank you for your comments so far. I’m sat on the transfer coach with tears streaming down my face.

Im not surprised. What a disrespectful thing to say, in front of you.

Chat2025 · 13/08/2025 22:23

I would feel very disrespected and uncomfortable for the cabin crew member and for myself.

If this is part of his character, I’d seriously consider the relationship. If it is a one off, thoughtless and stupid remark, I would expect him to understand why it was wrong and ti make up for it.

Timeforabitofpeace · 13/08/2025 22:23

I think I would have said to him, ‘how embarrassing you are sometimes.’

FieldInWhichFucksAreGrownIsBarren · 13/08/2025 22:21

Yep he's a knob and had I been the cabin crew in question, or anyone nearby for that matter, I'd have cringed for him.

SonK · 13/08/2025 22:20

Hope you are ok OP.

Just want to let you know that I would be fuming as well and very upset. As another poster has also mentioned you are not alone and your feelings are reasonable x

Don't let it slide, he made you feel rubbish so he has to put in work and make it up to you.

Twistedfirestarters · 13/08/2025 22:19

Ew. He's disgusting. And in front of his daughter too? Lovely example to set her of what to expect from men.

Perzival · 13/08/2025 22:18

stayathomegardener · 13/08/2025 22:17

Ex cabin crew here, we would think he was a knob and definitely give you a sympathetic look.

Ex crew too, this exactly.

stayathomegardener · 13/08/2025 22:17

Ex cabin crew here, we would think he was a knob and definitely give you a sympathetic look.