Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Comment to air hostess

383 replies

Backfromthebrink · 13/08/2025 21:44

Just arrived on holiday and I need the wise opinions of the Mumsnet community to help me decide if I’m being super unreasonable or if I’m right to feel pissed off.

On the plane off on holiday with my DH and DD9. Half way into the journey and the air hostess (think blonde, slim, attractive) comes down the aisle selling scratch cards, Prize being another holiday. She gets to our row and DH asks for x5 tickets and cheekily says “if I win, do you come too?” to the lady selling. I’m mortified and give her an apologetic look. She gives me a somewhat sympathetic look and I’m just feeling like the biggest dickhead.

I can’t bring myself to speak to my DH out of disgust and he laughs it off and makes me feel like I’m creating a drama for no reason. Feel so upset that he would humiliate me in front of my face.

Honest opinions please. Should I have laughed along or would you be fuming? Thank you!

OP posts:
nopiesleftinthisvehicle · 14/08/2025 00:14

fluffiphlox · 13/08/2025 22:01

Who says ‘air hostess’ these days? I think you’re both from the 1970s.
Anyway, he needs to be more of a grown up.

I don't think that's too bad, it can be hard breaking from words you grew up with.
I still say policewoman sometimes 😶‍🌫️ and Prince Charles 😁

Anotherbeeloudglade · 14/08/2025 00:13

WearyAuldWumman · 14/08/2025 00:09

I tend to use "steward" and "stewardess", but I'm ancient. I think of "cabin crew" as a collective.

I'm so old that I had to memorise "proprietor, propietress, propietrix" when I was at primary school from "First Aid in English".

Thinking about it, I'm possibly also less used to air travel than some younger people. It wouldn't have occurred to me to find "air hostess" offensive, though I can understand the reasoning when I think about it.

I've just done a quick Google and - given the level of offence taken at the use of the term - I'm surprised to see that it's still appearing online in many places. I'm also seeing "air host" being given as the masculine form.

ETA The main concern, in my view, is the inappropriate behaviour of the OP's husband.

Edited
Show quote history

Yes, it's the least important thing about the thread and they have been haranguing the poor OP about it - I think she's got it by now and there is certainly no need for further scolding.

DiscoBeat · 14/08/2025 00:13

ForWarmPeachBird · 13/08/2025 21:46

Air hostess?

?

WearyAuldWumman · 14/08/2025 00:09

WooleyMunky · 13/08/2025 23:32

Er, Busted? Grandma...

Show quote history

I tend to use "steward" and "stewardess", but I'm ancient. I think of "cabin crew" as a collective.

I'm so old that I had to memorise "proprietor, propietress, propietrix" when I was at primary school from "First Aid in English".

Thinking about it, I'm possibly also less used to air travel than some younger people. It wouldn't have occurred to me to find "air hostess" offensive, though I can understand the reasoning when I think about it.

I've just done a quick Google and - given the level of offence taken at the use of the term - I'm surprised to see that it's still appearing online in many places. I'm also seeing "air host" being given as the masculine form.

ETA The main concern, in my view, is the inappropriate behaviour of the OP's husband.

whatsupluckyducky · 14/08/2025 00:02

I would be really upset by this too

Anotherbeeloudglade · 14/08/2025 00:02

Anotherbeeloudglade · 13/08/2025 23:57

It wasn't even remotely funny. God, that poor woman, the shit she must have to endure from these wankers. And yeah of course you're embarrassed he just told some random woman he thinks she's fuckable but hey it's a "joke" right? What a total creep, is this the first time he's ever behaved like a weird sleazebag or does he have form for it?

He WOULD be apologising to me. To be honest, my husband literally wouldn't fucking dare do this and I don't care how anybody chooses to take that - he's a big strong man, he's no pushover and not physically afraid of me at all, but he also knows I am not a pathetic doormat and would absolutely never tolerate this sort of crap. I'd have gone off right there and then with a 'WHAT did you just say to this poor woman?! Apologise to her at once! How dare you sexually harass women trying to do their job?!" And yes, I am very capable of being that forthright.

If you're going to act like a sleazy teenager, you can be treated like one. I'd have wiped that creepy smirk right off his face. My husband wouldn't do this anyway because I would have run an absolute mile from any man who behaves like this.

But let us generously assume it is the very first and only time your husband has humiliated you in public by being a bit of a creepy sleazer and it's not in character - he WOULD be saying he was sorry and it WOULD be heartfelt.

I am so sorry there are clowns trying to minimise this shit behaviour OP. You definitely deserve an apology - but honestly, what kind of man says this right in front of his wife and daughter anyway? So yuck.

Anotherbeeloudglade · 14/08/2025 00:00

Wistfullysleepy · 13/08/2025 23:20

Oh dear. One of those people that think everyone else has the issue and not them. Nah. We’re all pitying/ laughing at you

Show quote history

Or finding them really gross and avoiding them altogether.

ArtesianWater · 14/08/2025 00:00

MorrisZapp · 13/08/2025 23:48

Cabin crew is the group term, it doesn't really work in the singular.

Show quote history

flight attendant

Someone2025 · 13/08/2025 23:59

Backfromthebrink · 13/08/2025 21:55

Thank you for your comments so far. I’m sat on the transfer coach with tears streaming down my face.

I honestly don’t think it’s that bad, it was just a bit of misplaced humour, he was probably trying to be friendly, forget about it and enjoy your holiday

ArtesianWater · 13/08/2025 23:59

TenderChicken · 13/08/2025 22:12

I can't believe he thinks it's OK to say that to someone trying to do her job, but ALSO WHILE HIS WIFE IS SITTING NEXT TO HIM.

Makes me believe he thinks/says shit like this all the time and it just rolled out.

and young daughter.

Anotherbeeloudglade · 13/08/2025 23:57

It wasn't even remotely funny. God, that poor woman, the shit she must have to endure from these wankers. And yeah of course you're embarrassed he just told some random woman he thinks she's fuckable but hey it's a "joke" right? What a total creep, is this the first time he's ever behaved like a weird sleazebag or does he have form for it?

He WOULD be apologising to me. To be honest, my husband literally wouldn't fucking dare do this and I don't care how anybody chooses to take that - he's a big strong man, he's no pushover and not physically afraid of me at all, but he also knows I am not a pathetic doormat and would absolutely never tolerate this sort of crap. I'd have gone off right there and then with a 'WHAT did you just say to this poor woman?! Apologise to her at once! How dare you sexually harass women trying to do their job?!" And yes, I am very capable of being that forthright.

If you're going to act like a sleazy teenager, you can be treated like one. I'd have wiped that creepy smirk right off his face. My husband wouldn't do this anyway because I would have run an absolute mile from any man who behaves like this.

But let us generously assume it is the very first and only time your husband has humiliated you in public by being a bit of a creepy sleazer and it's not in character - he WOULD be saying he was sorry and it WOULD be heartfelt.

Maddy70 · 13/08/2025 23:54

It was a silly comment that's all. Very ick but really couldn't get worked up about it. She isn't an air hostess either. This isn't the 1950s

MorrisZapp · 13/08/2025 23:48

SomeOfTheTrouble · 13/08/2025 23:17

Cabin crew. As has repeatedly been pointed out on this thread.
What would you call a male member of the cabin crew, out of interest? An ‘air host’?

Show quote history

Cabin crew is the group term, it doesn't really work in the singular.

Moveoverdarlin · 13/08/2025 23:46

SomeOfTheTrouble · 13/08/2025 23:17

Cabin crew. As has repeatedly been pointed out on this thread.
What would you call a male member of the cabin crew, out of interest? An ‘air host’?

Show quote history

No that would be an Air Steward.

shuggles · 13/08/2025 23:39

@Backfromthebrink OP, please show this clip to your husband. If he gets the joke, then he won't ever make a comment like that again.

- YouTube

Enjoy the videos and music that you love, upload original content and share it all with friends, family and the world on YouTube.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bqsTmF2Oicc

Namechange2700000 · 13/08/2025 23:37

Backfromthebrink · 13/08/2025 21:55

Thank you for your comments so far. I’m sat on the transfer coach with tears streaming down my face.

JFC. Massive overreaction.

ChamelalaBingBong · 13/08/2025 23:37

As a former "air hostess", I can day as a collective, we've had worse... and your husband is a prat and I'd be disgusted if I was you.

However, the term "air hostess" is demeaning. We were trained to keep everyone alive on the aircraft! Not just to serve you food amd drinks!

NoSoapJustUseShowerGel · 13/08/2025 23:36

He was disrespectful to both you and her. Tell him in no uncertain terms that he was sleazy and it was embarrassing for all three of you. Gross, Yanbu.

TitaniasAss · 13/08/2025 23:36

Pigeontails · 13/08/2025 23:17

Some of the responses on this thread… Yes, it’s a bit naff and cringey, but unless he has a history of flirting with anything that moves, I’d just chalk it up to holiday high spirits and move on. If you think there’s a chance it might happen again, then tell him you found it embarrassing.
I’m not sure it’s worthy of anything beyond that. I am far removed from ‘cool wife’ material, but I certainly wouldn’t be crying or divorcing someone over it.

This kind of thing is the problem. 'Holiday high spirits' like you're talking about a child being a bit naughty, not a grown man being sleazy. I could never excuse this. I wouldn't cry about it but I absolutely would tell my DH (he would never say anything like that) that his behaviour was revolting. As is excusing this kind of shite.

I have brought my son up to not behave like this and my daughter to not accept it.

WooleyMunky · 13/08/2025 23:32

fluffiphlox · 13/08/2025 22:01

Who says ‘air hostess’ these days? I think you’re both from the 1970s.
Anyway, he needs to be more of a grown up.

Er, Busted? Grandma...

Invinoveritaz · 13/08/2025 23:31

change ‘cheekily’ for ‘disrespectfully’ ‘disgustingly’ or ‘cringily’ or some other such word. Cheekily makes him sound cute. What he said is definitely not cute . . .

NebulousWhistler · 13/08/2025 23:30

wizzywig · 13/08/2025 22:00

Or you could end it with "and then he said do you come to? And I thought I've never come with him, so what chance would she?"

VERY underrated comment. 😂

Flowercakes · 13/08/2025 23:30

fluffiphlox · 13/08/2025 22:01

Who says ‘air hostess’ these days? I think you’re both from the 1970s.
Anyway, he needs to be more of a grown up.

🙄

Flowercakes · 13/08/2025 23:29

ForWarmPeachBird · 13/08/2025 21:46

Air hostess?

So many ways to not be a dick.

Mrsmunchofmunchington · 13/08/2025 23:28

Some nasty and nit picky people on this thread.

I’m with you OP.
I would never forget this remark. A total lack of respect for you. I couldn’t touch him ever again.

My first husband once said something very hurtful in the manner of “humour” in public.
I never forgot it and never felt the same way about him after that.