Comment to air hostess

I would have neither laughed or fumed. So many of the posts here seem so melodramatic to me. Can't believe that you felt "humiliated." I might have rolled my eyes. Or made some retort to show I was irked.

What interested me is that you called her an "air hostess." In America we're expected to term them as sex-neutral "flight attendants."

What a pathetic comment and not constructive in the least. It obviously and sadly makes you feel superior though.

I'm with team OP the husband is a mysoginistic sexist idiot. When your child is asleep I'd be having a word with him. Hope your holiday improves.

Why ARE so many mumsnetters dedicated to telling people how to feel and "move on". Are you bullies? None too bright? Or just so low in emotional intelligence and empathy that you don't realise that instructing someone to "move on" and feel things differently only ever has one outcome - they double down on how they feel and now they not only feel mad/bad/angry/upset they also feel disrespected and unsupported.

Maybe stop doing that, if you actually want to help. Because it doesn't.

I imagine you've been looking forward to your holiday so I wouldn't let an idiotic comment spoil it. Tell him it was unacceptable and move on.

I don't think it's dramatic and disproportionate though - I wouldn't have done this, but I disagree. Which does mean that it's not actually dramatic and disproportionate to others. Saying it is dramatic and disproportionate is just a personal judgement, not a fact.

And yes, she definitely needs to sort this out, and should now try to get on with having a nice holiday despite her creepy husband, for her kid's sake.

So it’s perfectly ok in your mind for cabin crew to be sexually objectified during the course of their job under the guise of ‘ holiday spirit’

🤢

She can feel how she wants, of course she can. Doesn't mean it isn't dramatic and disproportionate and something that will definitely impact her daughters well being IF this is how they generally behave. 🤷‍♀️

She didn't hide her hurt and humiliation, which I think we can agree is probably not an uncommon occurrence, but sat with 'tears streaming down her face' well after the incident. She 'took it', cried a lot and then, life and holiday go on leaving what impression on the dd?

So yeah, having her own feelings, as she should, is fine. The rest needs addressing. After the holiday.

Since when do people not call them air hostesses anymore? I'm so confused....

It sounds as if this episode has opened up a whole new side to your H that you never dreamed was there. I’d be totally embarrassed for him, and so disappointed for myself. He’s got alot of ground to make up!

I do hope your holiday picks up, this has certainly been a miserable start.

Telling someone how to feel about a disrespectful creepy sleazer might make you feel better, but it won't change how she feels. At all.

Yes, it is unlikely that this is the first time he has publicly humiliated her and yes she needs to do something about it. But that doesn't include not being allowed to have her own feelings.

For her child, and only for her child, she should hide her hurt and humiliation until they get home where she can deal with him properly.

I’m finding the responses a bit uptight. Yea it’s crass / gauche, but experience has taught me that that’s better than the more insidious misogyny that hides itself behind more PC behaviour. I guess it depends on your DP, on the exact tone, etc.

I’m in Scotland and I’m pretty sure a lot of cabin crew would laugh / shrug that off as fairly lame banter and not give it more than a moment’s thought.

The cabin crew has already forgotten about this, I’m sure. I wouidn’t sweat it.

This is a bit dramatic and completely disproportionate to the incident. Is this kind of scenario something your dd witnesses often?
I doubt someone comfortable enough to act like that in public, especially in front of his wife and daughter isn't a sexist twat who has said things like this before. Yet here you are on holiday, both of you modelling a really unhealthy dynamic, with your child.
You need to get a grip, for now, and make sure you and your dd have a lovely time. Deal with the reality of it all, or not, when you are home again.

Sorry but I think you're being ridiculous. You seriously are scolding a woman who was disgusted by something disgusting? And instructing her how to feel about a sexist, creepy comment that the other woman is sick to death of hearing from creepy men when she's trying to do her job?

It's cabin crew

Sorry but I think you’re being ridiculous. You seriously won’t speak to your husband out of disgust? And feel humiliated because he made a daft throwaway comment that wasn’t very funny and which the woman had probably heard a thousand times?

Just what I was thinking that. Very dated. They are all cabin crew now.

I wouldn't be with someone who thought it was appropriate to talk to a woman like that, especially when she's simply just trying to do her job.

I would be fuming. Have you said anything to him about it?

I'm the wife of TruthSeeker12345, and a senior Flight Attendant for a major carrier. (Air Hostess in Britain, Flight Attendant in the USA). This guy is a first class jerk, and really needs a manners update for the 21st century. Our primary function is your safety; we do a lot more than just pour Coke and Sprite. (Who do you think gets you off the aircraft in an evacuation? Not to mention medical emergencies, hijackers, mentally ill, and assorted other scenarios). If it looks easy from your seat, that shows that we're good at our job. I do hope this guy doesn't do this again; the next outcome may not be so calm.

Reminds me of a Simpsons episode when homer does this to someone and then the next guy approaches her and says the same. Tbh I don't think it's worth getting upset over there's far worse things happening in the world

While I think it was a dickhead comment. I think you are ruining your own holiday by being so dramatic about it.

I think flight attendant is a very American term. Not many Brits would use it.

But what is quite funny is that the scolds can't even agree amongst themselves 😆

The term is possibly a bit outdated, but surely it's no more offensive than saying "headmistress" or "headmaster" instead of "headteacher"?

Flight attendant is the correct neutral term