First World Problem Jealous of Brother’s Inheritance.

OP hasn't seen her brother in over 8 months and knew nothing about this. So I think that pretty much scotches them getting on well. More like strangers who are related.

This happened to me too @DaphneCrane. Brother had a massive inheritance from mother’s cousin. He was one of 8 beneficiaries and I did wonder if my mother hadn’t died a couple of years before, if she would have been the eighth beneficiary instead.
I think she had suspected that my brother was up to something though. It was just the way she told me that my brother had become a regular visitor to this man’s nursing home.
I cut ties with him after my mother’s death (that’s another story) and only found out about his massive inheritance ten years later.
Couldn’t understand how he didn’t need to work, spent so much time holidaying whenever and wherever.
He seems to have gone through life answerable to nobody, with no mortgage, owning everything he has outright etc. I’m shocked at how much he’s aged though, how overweight he is, how he moves like a man decades older, if I ever catch sight of him shuffling around.
I also have trouble managing my jealousy and anger towards him at times. I do know I need to for my own wellbeing though but it takes work.

If you get home well with your brother I have to say I would think less of him for not sharing the money with you.

Yes, no shade to OP, but I’m surprised at how emphatic she was that she was a Christian yet still felt ‘very’ jealous of her brother almost implying that she didn’t have such ‘sins’ even moderately under control.

Also very dramatic in saying she’s ’terrified’ the same inequality will befall her own kids. But why such terror if the role of the Godparent is as you say to provide moral and spiritual guidance. The money is just a perk surely? And that’s even if they choose to give anything. As a PP said as both grow older the connection may wane anyway. It’s always probably more likely that a child will get an inheritance if the GP is a relative also as likely they’d be seeing them more as part of family functions than a friend of the parents would.

I live in an area where there is a lot of money - and I mean a lot eg a Lamborghini drives by and no one bats an eyelid. I know many multi millionaires. Please believe me that troubles will come for your brother. Money doesn’t protect from that.
As a Christian do you believe that God has a special love and care for you? Try to train your brain to think of other things when you start these jealous thoughts. Don’t allow the devil to draw a wedge between you and your brother.

Are you not happy that your brother had a stroke of good fortune? His good fortune was not at your expense.

If he won the lottery, would you feel jealous and entitled to that too?

You are behaving in a very un Christian manner. You should probably seek guidance from your church on that, and work on yourself.

With regard to your children, life will of course treat them differently. As long as you treat them the same, then that in all that matters!

I can understand it being upsetting and a shame your brother did not share.

What I can't understand is why you don't go and talk to someone of your faith to help resolve these issues.

Maybe I'm missing something, but one of the benefits of religion to me seems to be that you have a support system to offer moral and spiritual guidance in these sorts of matters.

Randoms on here surely aren't the best for it.

I think it's a good sign you have acknowledged your feelings on the matter, and also recognise that these feelings don't align with your core values. And that's ok. We are all complex creatures. There is no need to hate yourself or think you are stupid - you're only human. You can simply recognise the discrepancy and observe it within yourself in a neutral way with curiosity. When it comes up, say to yourself kindly - that's interesting that I feel that way, but it's just a feeling.

But going forward, I would use these feelings to try to take something positive from it. Feelings of dissatisfaction and envy can actually be very useful in pinpointing underlying wishes and desires that we haven't really acknowledged or uncovered within ourselves. So instead of thinking: 'I really envy my brother and want what he has', re-focus it to 'having a nice house, and financial security, making good money and building investments, wealth and a legacy for my children are really important to me and something I want to work towards'.

Now in our family that inheritance would have been divided 3 ways equally between us siblings no question about it. No wonder you are jealous!

I thought that the whole point of godparents was for moral and spiritual guidance if you're looking at it from a Christian point of view. Not how much inheritance they will give you.

Ah that sucks OP. Not much you can do really. He was her godson and she chose to leave money to
him.
But I understand why you feel jealous.

We are culturally Christian, DH is the grandson of a vicar. I am a believer.

That is the weirdest way of describing "I am a Christian" that I have ever heard.

I can imagine how hard this is.

I think you just need to give it some time and keep reminding yourself that you are no worse off than you were before you knew. Sounds cheesy but I find a gratitude journal can be a helpful thing/ just noting down every day what you’re grateful for. Helps keep your attention on the right stuff rather than sinking into comparisons.

Your son's gp might not give him a huge inheritance anyway, that's no guarantee. I'm not sure why you think it will happen again. I doubt my gp's will leave me anything, they have plenty of family they're much closer to, and that's fine.

Just because OP you are a christian, doesn’t mean she’s holy.
I understand what you’re feeling. If only your dad had not insisted on his family member being godfather/mother, you’d have had ah inheritance too. I can’t believe your brother did not share the inheritance, that’s bound to drive a wedge even from his side. I’d feel guilty.
Maybe look at your children’s relationship. Is there a way to build it more?
In time, you’ll get over it, maybe not completely but to a large extent.
Finally, pray about it and pray more. Your strength doesn’t sound enough. The Holy Spirit will help.

I’ve recently had a similar experience but the ‘benefactor’ was a very close family member.
in my case it wasn’t unexpected that I would be ‘disinherited’
I try and reframe this type of disappointment/situation.
I am fortunate to have a perfectly adequate home, healthy children, paid employment. I am not rich but I want for nothing and have also been lucky enough to process some of my past trauma (related to the family member who died)
I focus on what I actually have rather than what someone else inherited and what I was ‘morally’ entitled to. Genuinely I think this is the only way forward for me.

And the brother could have shared his good fortune if he wanted to. The godmother is hardly in a position to object.

… pray for guidance?

Honestly I find it quite baffling that someone who claims to be Christian is so focused on money. Stop obsessing about ‘what ifs’ and concentrate on raising your sons to be kind, generous and unmaterialistic - that way, even if history repeats itself, it won’t come between them.

One of my godmothers is minted but it’s never occurred to me that she’d leave me anything -I assume it’ll all go to her own kids and children.

@DaphneCrane did this godmother have her own kids? Because if not I think it’s reasonable to expect that she’d share her legacy between her nieces/nephews/godchildren.

If the godmother wanted the OP to have a share of her money she would have put that in her will.

That sucks OP. It's a shame your brother didn't share with you. All I can say is envy is waste of energy and be grateful for what you have. There's always someone worse off than you etc.

So you haven't visited your brother or seen photos of his new house? Do you even talk?

It’s galling. Of course it is. Try to unpick your feelings a bit.
you could be partlyfeeling resentful because it was kept a secret.

try and think of how life was before you knew about the inheritance and try and get back to that space in your mind.

OPs mom wanted the rich cousin to be OPs godmother as well but OPs dad insisted it be someone from his family.

She didn't want to be. It was OP's mum who wanted the same person for both kids and their dad vetoed it.