What do you think of this ultimatum from Fiance?

You’re not being unreasonable to refuse to live in Norway if you don’t want to.

You are being unreasonable to get engaged to someone from another country and expect this not be an issue. Whatever you both felt in your 20s, he presumably has a family there with aging parents, life will happen and at some point they’re likely to need him.

If you really don’t want to do this, you probably need to end the relationship.

They do speak English in Norway, it’s a beautiful country I wouldn’t write it off. Friend of mine met and married his wife in the US went to Norway where she is from and never left. He still doesn’t speak the language fluently but has a great life lively friends and would never now contemplate leaving.

If he is the person for you try a compromise.

Could you suggest going on holiday there regularly instead?

Because loving someone doesn’t mean doing whatever they want 🙄 fucking hell

Again, I’ll say is simply.

Why do you think you get to decide what other people are allowed to care about?

Who made you God?

This may come as a shock but some people care more about their family than women’s rights. Some people care more about their health than LGBT+ rights. Some people care more about their own careers than other people’s human rights.

I’m sure you’re all selflessness and perfection - other people are allowed to prioritise themselves in their own lives instead of prioritising your values. They’re YOUR values.

Which part are you struggling with?

No. The op doesn’t have to just do this. The guilt trip is the bad part.

“OP don't leave where you love and all your friends and family for a man. Just don't. He shouldn't even ask you if he loves you.”

Why aren’t you questioning her not doing what he wants if she loves him?

They both need to decide what is more important
being together or where they live

Imagine being so offended by Saudi Arabia because of women’s rights issues whilst telling another woman she has to do exactly what her fiancé tells her to and isn’t allowed to have her own views or opinions 😂🙄

The hypocrisy and lack of basic intelligence is genuinely astounding.

Because if it's not an affront to her values and is actually just superficial reasons like the weather then making small sacrifices like spending a year of your life somewhere that wouldn't be your top choice but isn't actively dangerous is part of being married.

If she doesn't want to make any sacrifices for his happiness, don't get married.

Why the hell should OP care if it’s an affront to your values?!

Funny how OP’s own social, health and career concerns are “silly” and shouldn’t form a basis for her decision but your moral concerns should be a deciding factor 😂

Do you really think the whole world revolves around you?

NO ONE CARES WHO YOU WOULD MARRY

He isnt offering a compromise. Hes stated what he wants and offered no alternative that meets in the middle, which is what a compromise is.

This is painful.

You are asking if moving to Saudi is equivalent to moving to Norway for the sake of your fiance's happiness.

One is a risk to my safety and affront to my moral values, one is not.

If OP has valid safety concerns or moral objections about moving to Norway then that would be different matter, but the question would be, if your values are so anti-Norwegian, why are you marrying a Norwegian man?

I wouldn't marry a Saudi unless they shared my belief that oppressive theocracies are wrong.

Not when people are also suggesting op is being U because he might be missing his family, feel like an outsider here, why wouldn't op want to explore his culture, learn his language, immerse herself fully in it etc.

Seems they dont matter if its a country that a poster doesn't like 🙃

OP don't leave where you love and all your friends and family for a man. Just don't. He shouldn't even ask you if he loves you. I did this and moved to Australia, and it totally ruined my life. Ive been back a while and rebuilt those relationships but it wasn't easy. My boyfriend lives only half hour away and I have said from the start I will not be moving anywhere ever again. Im walking distrance to all my friends and family and I will stay that way. He wouldn't even ask me because he knows it would be so upsetting for me.

I don't think your fiancee should even ask you tbh. You have made it clear from the outset that you love where you live for various reasons. He has a choice to make for sure, and you will have to accept it with grace if it he decides not to ahead and marry you because he wants to go to his hometown. That will be hard, but dont fgs compromise on this. It won't end well.

Yah, very Ab Fab 😂

"You'll be better off there" - excellent comedy comment, since she is simply not going :)

Well done, love a larf 😅

I'd seen it as a great opportunity...it's a much better place to raise children and you'll be better off there once climate change really takes hold.

Most Norwegians speak better English than many Brits

Of what? This query makes no sense.

Are you the OP in a different account? No? Then why do you think your preferences override OP’s?

Genuinely? No British woman is allowed to marry a Saudi man or move to Saudi Arabia because it doesn’t align with your values?

OP is fully entitled to live wherever she likes for whatever reason she likes or no reason at all. Your opinion on Saudi Arabia, the UK or Norway make no difference. None. None at all.

View it this way. I don’t find Cristiano Ronaldo attractive. If Cristiano Ronaldo wanted to have sex with me and I said no, repeatedly, made it very clear and specified that I didn’t want to, would you think that you banging on and on and on about how attractive you think Cristiano Ronaldo is relevant? Would you think I’m unreasonable for choosing who I have sex with? Would you really tell me I have to uproot my life and ruin my marriage to shag Cristiano Ronaldo because you found information online that proves he’s hotter than my husband?!

Would you really say “I’d agree with OP if it were Boris Johnson” and “Cristiano Ronaldo isn’t comparable to Boris Johnson” and “OP’s entire autonomy goes out the window when it’s about a man I think is hot”?

Do you realise how fucking stupid it sounds now?

Well, I suppose if he is brain damaged, or has somehow completely forgotten everything she said to him over the last 6 years, or his English is so poor that he doesn't comprehend the facts that she made abundantly clear to him repeatedly, he might be confused.

I was just assuming he's of average or higher intelligence and understands that words mean things.

Actually I should have said refuse to stop burbling and babbling about it. Bizarre how some mumsnetters on this thread just refuse to stop interjecting their own obsessive fascinations and answer the question the OP asked.

I don't know the man well enough to know whether he's "pretending to be confused." Perhaps you do. And it does seem like he's offering some kind of a compromise. I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt; I'm not going to assume that he has ill intent.

But regardless she doesn't have to accept any of that. She can just say "no I'm not going to Norway, this relationship is over." Those are the options.

No, but it seems like you are.

Comparing legitimate safety concerns and issues with the weather is silly.

Right. So many people see to think she asked them for advice on this and cannot stop burbling and babbling on about it. She's made it clear, it's not happening.