What do you think of this ultimatum from Fiance?

Can’t believe all these people who don’t have a single dealbreaker at all for them in a relationship… really? Not one? At all?

No one here made clear they wanted children or didn’t want children? No one made clear they would or wouldn’t be a SAHM? No one at all wouldn’t compromise on being a carer for their in-laws? No one at all wouldn’t compromise on literally anything?

Or, are all the posters telling OP that absolutely everything must be a compromise - and she’s not allowed to have a single thing she’s unwavering on (even though she was clear and upfront) and must meet him half-way or, according to some, do whatever he wants because it’s his home and Norway is great - actually just being hypocrites?

I knew a couple who couldn't agree on where to live pre marriage, but put it on the back burner, had 2 children, then they tried to figure it out. They divorced and are having a pretty misearble time single parenting in different places. There is a huge risk that he will want to return to Norway one day, that the 1 year becomes multiple. That a move back to the UK instills resentment. You need to work through this with a therapist, or really work through it together, or break up now.

Call off the engagement

Youre not compatible. Neither of you are wrong.

End it now.

Because one usually turns into two and then he will never want to move. Then op would have kids and she’s stuck there or sending her kids to another country all the time if they split.

Yanbu op. You were completely upfront about that. Think long and hard before you are forced into a situation where you are stuck forever.

The thing is feelings and emotions can’t be anchored or set down like a goalpost. People’s feelings change all the time, it’s not an unnatural state.

You've been upfront. Oslo is light all the time in summer and dark and miserable in winter. The romance fades pretty quickly when you are cold, have no family nearby, cannot penetrate a social set and there is nothing to do except play ice hockey and drink. YANBU but you are especially justified in this case.

Your German teacher was wrong. You clearly have a brain for languages. You are fine with English.

Its totally irrelevant what other people think would be cool or acceptable. He wants something you don't and it seens to be a dealbreaker for both of you. End it now and don't waste any more of his or your time.

I get it OP. My husband is from Oz. I made it clear very early on that I don't ever want to move there. I don't even want to visit (I know that's unreasonable but it's how I feel as a result of the flight length). If I had an ultimatum like yours, it would be the end for me.

You don’t really sound like someone who has cultural curiosity, which could cause major headaches over the years. No one is right or wrong I just don't think it will work in the long run.

Don’t most Norwegians speak English? Norway for a year sounds great to me, there are some incredibly beautiful places to enjoy.

This was never going to work out, you couldnt have been totally sure at the beginning that he’d never change his mind. He could’ve have kids with you, and then felt that pull to live back in his home country to be near his family, and then be terribly sad if you didn’t agree. This is a difficulty if a couple from 2 different countries have children and then spilt, it can get messy, depending on that country’s laws. I think split as it sounds like he’s missing home

While you’re not necessarily unreasonable not to want to move away temporarily you also sound all about me, me, me. It’s all about your wants, your needs, your family, your social life, your culture, your language. There is no consideration at all for his needs or what he wants or even having a measured discussion about it where you could try to see his viewpoint. I would find that very difficult to get past if I were him. Perhaps this is a good point to reconsider the relationship as both of you can’t seem to make decisions as a family but rather as individuals. Are you aware your children will also be half Norwegian?

Hes changed his mind. He's always going to want to spend time in his home country, more so as he gets older and when you have children

If you are absolutely definite that you dont want to live anywhere but the UK, then break up with him and let him be happy

It really is moving the goal posts. Assuming tbe OP is accurate when she says she's said all along she's not going to Norway.

Having said that, if he's going to change his mind, before the wedding is the right time, before it's too late.

Surely better to not get married and have children if the relationship is like this?!!! Why would you marry or have children with someone if you can’t agree on where to live for a year if your life!!

I will never understand men or women who meet someone while they're abroad and expect them to move.

He met you in London. He pursued a relationship with an English person (presumably) who was clear from the beginning they have no interest in living overseas. It isn't like you met abroard or he moved here to be with you and has sacrificed anything.

Some things don't need compromise, especially when they're life altering decisions. If he doesn't like it he should end the relationship.

If you'd been a firm no from the start on having kids, or being a stay at home mum, or moving to the arse end of nowhere and he'd kept schtum for 6 years hoping you'd change your mind people on here wouldn't be trying to convince you or insist there was a compromise. But because Oslo it's suddenly different.

Either he genuinely accepts you don't want to move or the relationship ends. If not, one will always resent the other.

No, he can just go to court and demand a DNA test if she refuses to acknowledge he is the father.

Presumably he didn't realise 6 years ago when he was in his mid-20s what it meant to never be able to live in his home country and be near his family and friends again. I didn't have that sort of insight at that age and I moved around internationally for 20 years until I finally returned to my home country.

This isn't something that is going to go away permanently for him, he will get the urge to move back over and over again, even if he doesn't act on it this time. You saying it's a blanket no will just cause resentment and neither of you will be happy. He doesn't want to spend the rest of his life in a UK suburb so you need to not be together.

You know that’s not how relationships work in the real world.

Then maybe go before marriage. Say you will marry on return to UK.
If any children happen in Oslo before marriage maybe keep him off the birth certificate so you can move easily without his permission… or does it not work like that 🤔

You told him straight off that you wouldn't move to Norway.

He's unreasonable to expect you to change your mind.

Absolutely not being unreasonable. You don’t want to live abroad, and have told him so. End of imo. If he really wants to move back for a bit could you handle a long distance relationship for a year? And yes definitely do NOT have a baby over there!! You could be stuck there for 18 years!

I don't think either of you are wrong or unreasonable. Sometimes people change their minds & there are things you cannot get beyond as a couple. I hope you can work it out.