What do you think of this ultimatum from Fiance?

Isn’t Oslo as far from London as London is from Oslo?

I really dont see where the OP asked "Should i move to oslo pros and cons please"

Once again the point and the majority of posters are complete strangers

So do mine, very much so, but equally so does the future of my child and frankly the British economy scares me and I fear for the future here. Oslo is very close to the UK for visits back home.

My grandparents both moved to Canada from Scotland in the 1920s, met, got married and had 4 children - and then my grandfather wanted to come home, and for some reason my grandmother agreed. It wasnt even to her part of Scotland. He got what he wanted - she left all her family (who had also emigrated) behind for him. She hated being back in Scotland. They had a hard life here.

Anyway, i would be suspicious about this one year idea. He may just want to go home.

What do you actually know about living in Norway? Because you sound quite knowledgable, so you could help the OP.

Going after marriage would be very risky. If it has to be done (hypothetically speaking) then it must be before marriage.

Me too. Men and MILs and mine MILs a doozy 😆

Mumsnets fascination with scandanavia as a utopia is in itself fascinating.

yanbu to not want to live away. He is not being unreasonable to change his mind. He is a different person to the person he was 6 years ago, especially if you met fairly young. You’ve reached that crossroad of make or break.

ultimately you need to agree or split up. Don’t marry until this is resolved.

It's not that simple though, as OP values being near her family and friends. Norway is no doubt wonderful but living abroad can be lonely. It takes a lot of time to build a network of friends, and even then, it's not the same as having parents or siblings nearby. I'm speaking from experience; I've lived in a few different countries which were all amazing, but none of them had my family and close friends.

Perhaps there was a good job opportunity.

Once she relents and goes, he will never come back.

So its either break up now pre marriage with a solid support network around

Or divorce later, in a foreign country

I know someone who moved to Oslo and found it socially very hard - very much felt like an outsider for what its worth. Also, it is very fair to say I have a life i value in the UK and you knew that/I was clear - I love you but not enough to give up everything else that matters to me.

Jesus I’ll go with him. Life in Norway is halcyon compared to the UK and I’d rather spoon my own eyeballs out than live in a ?burb

2nd comment very quick Dangermoo

I'd wondered if this was the case

Like PPs I'm all for compromise if he really does mean "for a year", but if he wouldn't then move back that's not a compromise - it's dishonestly moving the goalposts once he thinks he's got you "trapped"

To my mind this needs a LOT of discussion as to where he honestly sees his future - especially given that you've been so clear from the start - and while it would no doubt be sad if it means a split that's far better than resentment building down the line

🤣🤣🤣🤣

You need to see learning the language as an essential long term goal. Even if you stay in London, if you have children they will be bilingual and dual nationality. He will want to speak to them in Norwegian and immerse them in his culture and his family will too. Expect to have to use annual holidays to visit family and friends in Norway too.

It sounds like you need to break up with him. I don’t think it was manipulative to ask if you’d consider a year but if you don’t want to that’s fair enough. It wouldn’t be unreasonable for him to consider it a deal breaker though.

He's entitled to feel the way he does - what seems a good idea in our 20's can seem unreasonable or less attractive as we mature.
I think he is sensible to seriously reconsider the relationship - as are you. You no longer seem to be compatible. You both deserve to be happy, with partners who want the same things.

Plenty do hate men on here but I certainly don’t, there’s been more occasions I’ve been in the defence of a man on her so that’s not why I commented.

Yanbu, you made it very clear early on that you wouldn't move.
He may have changed his mind over recent years, which is his prerogative .But that doesn't mean you have to fall in line.
If it's a deal breaker for him, you'll need to go your separate ways .

He. Doesn't. Want. To. Go. For. A. Year.

Read between the lines.

You didn't like it when you were there for a month, so it's sensible not to move there. Ultimately though, even if he's being unreasonable to change his mind, it sounds like that's how he feels - so you now need to consider whether you're willing to live somewhere you don't like for a year to save your marriage.

If you do move, I would actually do the year there before you get married. That way, if he changes his mind about it just being a year and you want to escape, you won't need a divorce. And definitely don't have kids out there unless you discover you love both him and Norway enough that you'll be happy for you and them to stay out there...