I don’t like going for walks or to the park, I want to look around shops

Recently took a school group on a trip to our local forest. I have taken my now adult chn so many times it is a familiar place. I was shocked at how many families had never been. On their doorstep a fantastic place with activities and play areas for chn to trail, bike ride, build dens etc. These were chn with family cars that travel abroad on holidays.

In the early days of Facebook there were quizzes - how hometown are you? I was genuinely shocked by how many school friends knew so little about the city! Like the name of the rugby team.

My mum did that too most weekends.

Her reasoning was when we got bored enough to tell her we hated it was that she liked just sitting quietly with a coffee and her newspaper in a local cafe. Well, her two primary school age children didn't like it. It was boring, we wanted to go and do something.

She always did the shopping when she was with us so we could carry the bags with her.

You could sit quietly with a hot drink in her newspaper once her children in bed or we're back for the day. It was a miserable boring existence.

Now, un adult life, I only go to the shops if I want or need something, or if it's absolutely dire weather. Get you out of the house to have a coffee and cake if it's torrential rain outside in the winter.

I think families do divide into those who know about everything available in their area, and those who genuinely aren’t aware of any activities beyond wandering around the shops.

I recall once driving with my mother and an acquaintance through a city my family knows well but hadn’t passed through for a while. DM and I were enthusiastically doing Do you remember when … as we passed museums, galleries, theatres, restaurants, the music school, the conservatoire, other concert halls, indoor craft markets, cinemas, historic libraries, sports venues - all of which we’d been to at one time or another, generally with a child or two. At the end of the journey the acquaintance exclaimed that they’d been fascinated by our conversation as they’d lived in the area for years - but had never known ‘what any of those buildings were’.

You have to be curious, or someone has to tell you.

(Of course the OP may have all the information at her fingertips but just not be interested,)

DH grew up like this. Every weekend he and DSIL walked round the shops with their parents, without fail. Food shopping followed by walking round the shops in the local town. I LOVE shopping but it's a pretty depressing existence for a child. MIL is still addicted to spending money on stuff she doesnt need.

I spent my childhood weekends going to the park, the woods, the beach, the local country park, the local pool, using bikes or scooters. It wasn't perfect but my parents hardly ever spent money on 'activities' and there was still plenty to do. I would much rather give my children that kind of childhood to be honest. Not popular on here but I think while the kids are young weekends should be largely centred around family friendly activities. You have years and years after they leave home to 'mooch' around the shops alone.

What gives me the biggest dopamine hit is buying books. Specifically second hand books, from second hand or charity shops. If DH ever thinks I need a lift ha says “let’s go to xyz and do the charity shops”. Always works.

No, really don't view shopping or "mooching" as a leisure activity. I much prefer a walk, but yes a walk in a scenic place not a boring kiddies playground.
Sounds like you need to start planning things to do at the weekend OP. Something that both you, DP and the kids can enjoy.

@Meadowfinch

It makes a difference what you are looking at. My last walk was along a tow path, - herons, swans and cygnets, a new foal, and a cloud of swifts doing aerobatics and screaming above us. It was lovely.

Likewise, on a new canal walk the other day, came across a small group of alpacca's paddling in the side of the canal and drinking the canal water. Watched by some very curious cows in an adjoining field and further down, some ponies paddling!

It makes a difference what you are looking at. My last walk was along a tow path, - herons, swans and cygnets, a new foal, and a cloud of swifts doing aerobatics and screaming above us. It was lovely.

But I'm happy with a stroll round John Lewis too. I'm easily pleased.

I love a potter round a nice town centre. I hate 'shopping' when it's shopping for a purpose - eg if I have to go out and get some things I actually need - but I love just pottering around a few shops, looking at some interesting buildings or whatever and going to a cafe or a pub to sit with a drink/snack.

Fortunately, my DP travels a lot within the UK for various reasons, which means sometimes he'll say 'I need to go to [wherever] on Saturday - I can drop you in [pleasant nearby location] if you think you'd be happy to kill a couple of hours there on your own?' so I get to do this quite often. Sometimes it's a nice town/city centre, sometimes it might be the seaside or occasionally he'll drop me at something like a castle or a museum. But a little trip out for a potter round is one of my favourite things.

I hardly ever actually buy much at all in the shops when I do this. If there's an independent bookshop I'll always buy a couple of books and sometimes I might buy, eg, some stationery or a gift for someone or something like that. But I rarely buy clothes or household things.

A walk anyday. Good for you.
Shops for when you need things.
Otherwise it's my idea of hell, and hot and stuffy.
Food and drink too equals expensive.

Horses for courses.

I loathe shopping and while I know that there are people who see browsing round as a leisure activity, I don't get it at all. It's torture to me. I mean, fine, an interesting antique/junk shop, bookshop or a row of genuine little craft shops or something, maybe, but normal shops or (shudder) a shipping mall, god why? But everyone's different.

Town parks are also pretty boring to walk round repeatedly if that's what he wants, to be fair. Country/city/coast walks have so much to look at and enjoy.

You need to find something you both enjoy.

I do hear you loudly OP! My idea of fun is also having a mooch round the shops too! I just don’t enjoy play parks. I don’t mind going for a nice walk but it’s not something i get excited about. I used to hate when the kids were small and that’s all they wanted to do and any notion of a shop would send them crazy.

Is it a desire for alone/adult time?

I would love to pop into town to a nice bookshop and then find a coffee shop and have a nice sandwich and an iced coffee. But mostly because it would be a novelty and I do lots of walking! Perhaps you just need a break from the kids for a while.

(It is my birthday next week and my birthday present from DH is that I'm going out for a bookshop/coffee ALONE 😁)

Is it a desire for alone/adult time?

I would love to pop into town to a nice bookshop and then find a coffee shop and have a nice sandwich and an iced coffee. But mostly because it would be a novelty and I do lots of walking! Perhaps you just need a break from the kids for a while.

(It is my birthday next week and my birthday present from DH is that I'm going out for a bookshop/coffee ALONE 😁)

My favourite holidays are city breaks. Discovering a new city and wandering around the old and new bits, finding little squares, nice cafés, interesting architecture. Give me that over a woodland walk any day of the week.

OT but I despise the word ‘mooch’. This thread is thus making me twitchy!

Same. I prefer walking down Regent St than through Hampstead Heath!

I am able to control my buying. And can easily spend a few hours ‘shopping’ but just buy nurofen or nothing at all. I can afford a coffee at the M&S cafe.

I feel zero guilt. Walking through nature is not for me. I get too bored.

It’s true that children need lots of space to run about or otherwise use up energy. I always used to try to incorporate an opportunity for that, even on urban strolls or visiting museums / galleries.

I don't see the problem. You go and do what you want for a few hours and dh can stay in with the dc or take them for a walk. Meet up later. Your well-being is just as important as the rest of the family.

I find shopping very boring, but love walking, or any other active thing like cycling swimming etc. Guess we are all different.

I agree with others, this is a really odd take.

It does sound like dopamine addiction to me - only being “soothed” by buying something you don’t need in the shops, and spending money on coffee/ food out. It’s a very expensive way to spend your time.

There is, of course, an element here of you and your DH just enjoying different things. Personally, I’m with him and would not enjoy you idea of fun, whilst I love walks. Can you vary where you go for said walks?

How much “mooching” can you do with young kids realistically? Shopping is the definition of a restricted space, whereas on walks they can run around.

I hate the idea of 'going for a walk' , it seems pointless. That being said I average about 5.5 miles a day walking but that's walking to and from destinations (gym\supermarket\train station etc) not just meandering. If it's urban I enjoy looking at the people, shops and buildings. If it's rural I enjoy the scenery but have to listen to an audio book to occupy my mind.

I absolutely hate wandering round shops though. If I know I want to buy something I'll visit the appropriate shop or shops, make my choice and move on. Just looking for the sake of it bores me silly.

Agree. I love walking around cities. Clocked up major steps walking around cities of the world. But the countryside is equally enjoyable and ever changing

I love a walk around a city and enjoy human creativity, but the countryside is absolutely not empty and waiting to be built on, that's an unusual take.