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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Who is being unreasonable?

88 replies

MidoriNoRingo · 13/08/2025 14:21

Person A has a friend who is currently living in a caravan and using a laundrette. Friend is coming to the house in a few weeks to babysit A and B’s children for the night. Person A has said they can use the washing machine while they are here.

Person B is not happy with this as last time they used the washing machine friend had overloaded it quite significant and nearly broken it.

Person A said they have spoken to friend and told them they will show them how to do the washing but don’t think this would be a problem.

Person B thinks Person A does not respect their wishes and thinks as Person B paid for the washing machine that they should be allowed to say that friend can’t use it. Person A thinks it would be awkward to have friend babysit but tell them that they can’t use the washing machine.

Person B said in that case they would rather stay home and not go away for the night.

Person B is quite autistic and is very rigid about things within the home.

Who is being unreasonable?

OP posts:
MidoriNoRingo · 13/08/2025 14:37

Anewuser · 13/08/2025 14:33

So you’re A and your partner B. It’s his weekend with his kid there but you’ve planned to go away, so your friend is looking after the kids/house?

Yes, it would be rude and ridiculous to say, “We trust you with our kids but not our washing machine.”

Either take the kids, get another babysitter or let them use the washing machine.

and you can’t be a bit autistic.

What? They are OUR children.

OP posts:
Bumcake · 13/08/2025 14:36

The washing machine denier is an upright scrooge.

jeaux90 · 13/08/2025 14:36

B is being an asshole

MidoriNoRingo · 13/08/2025 14:36

Basically it was so overloaded it couldn’t drain properly so B had to drain it and then did the washing in 4 separate loads.

OP posts:
ThePhantomoftheEcobubbleOpera · 13/08/2025 14:35

What does a nearly broken washing machine look like? Do you mean it could have potentially broken based on the the number of clothes put in it or did it need to be repaired?

Oreosareawful · 13/08/2025 14:34

B sounds like my husband, but if hes the one paying for it I don't blame him for saying no.

Anewuser · 13/08/2025 14:33

So you’re A and your partner B. It’s his weekend with his kid there but you’ve planned to go away, so your friend is looking after the kids/house?

Yes, it would be rude and ridiculous to say, “We trust you with our kids but not our washing machine.”

Either take the kids, get another babysitter or let them use the washing machine.

and you can’t be a bit autistic.

rumred · 13/08/2025 14:32

Person b sounds mealy mouthed and mean.

MidoriNoRingo · 13/08/2025 14:32

KarmenPQZ · 13/08/2025 14:24

If you can’t trust them to use the washing machine appropriately then how can you trust them with your children.

Not really relevant to the post.

OP posts:
YourSnugHazelTraybake · 13/08/2025 14:32

I'm curious how you 'almost' break a washing machine. Either it broke, or it didn't. But as per pp, if you trust them with your kids then you should be able to trust them with your belongings.

Growlybear83 · 13/08/2025 14:30

I think that person B is being ridiculous and seriously unkind not to let someone use the washing machine who is living in those circumstances and doing a favour by babysitting. If the friend is shown how to use the washing machine properly, I really can’t see the problem.

steff13 · 13/08/2025 14:26

I can actually see both sides here but I probably would be fine with the friend using the washing machine as long as they were aware that they had almost broken it the last time and that person A is going to show them how to use it correctly.

KarmenPQZ · 13/08/2025 14:24

If you can’t trust them to use the washing machine appropriately then how can you trust them with your children.