We were right not to give dd a lift weren't we? feel like a cow today

53 replies

malificent7 · 13/08/2025 13:49

Dd is 17. Dosn't drive yet. It was dhs bday yesterday...We both had a glass of strong dessert wine. At 9.30pm dd announced she wanted to go to a local pub to see friends...could I give her a lift?
I was reluctant as ;
Was dhs bday and wanted to relax.
We had both drunk ( under limit but still.)
Was very last minute and she was still faffing at 10pm.
I have to get up at 5.30am so need an early night.
I drive a 1.5 hr vommute there and bk waxh day. 3 hours in total.
I feel bad today as I can be awkward aboit lifts. I do them but not if im tired. I have a long commute.
Dh ( step dad) is lovely and does lots of lifts but I didnt wantt him to after a drink and it being his bday.
Dd sats she dosn't mind...why do I feel so bad?

OP posts:

NoodleHorses · 13/08/2025 14:08

You had had a drink, therefore you couldn’t drive. That’s it.
sure you may have been under the limit but would you stake your licence on it, or the life of someone else?
You did the right thing in my eyes. Don’t feel bad.

rainbowsparkle28 · 13/08/2025 13:54

You had both consumed alcohol - that alone from anything else should have been enough of a reason that you wouldn’t be willing to drive. I would also be considering why this has been such a big deal in your mind, DD even has said she didn’t mind. Is it usual for you to overthink in this way? Not a criticism just a gentle reassurance that maybe you are looking too much into this 🙂

Katemax82 · 13/08/2025 13:53

Try not to overthink it. Its not always possible to give lifts. My son had to walk 5 miles home once when he went out as my husband forewarned him we wouldn't be driving that day as we had wine. The train was cancelled or something so he was stuck and had to walk...yes I felt bad but he survived

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