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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think DS massively overreacted calling the police?

243 replies

YellowBall72 · 13/08/2025 13:04

Yesterday afternoon DS (17) asked if he could borrow DH’s car to nip to the shops. He doesn’t drive, has no licence, and isn’t insured so DH obviously said no. Cue DS stomping about, muttering under his breath, slamming cupboard doors.

DH told him to pack it in and when he started swearing, took his phone off him and said he’d get it back later when he calmed down.

Next thing, DS has locked himself in his room. I assumed he was just sulking but turns out he was on his laptop calling the police. Ten minutes later there’s a knock at the door and two officers are stood there saying they’ve had a call from “a vulnerable young person” saying he was being held against his will.

They came in, had a chat with DS, realised it was a daft family row, and told him wasting police time is serious. They left soon after but now DS is acting like he’s somehow in the right and DH is fuming.

I’m embarrassed the neighbours probably saw and think we’re some sort of nightmare family. AIBU to think DS completely overreacted or should I be worried he felt this was the right course of action?

OP posts:
JHound · 13/08/2025 13:54

PInkyStarfish · 13/08/2025 13:10

Why would you be worried about the spiteful and downright nasty actions of your offspring who doesn’t respect his father and brings the police to your door.

I wish they had charged him for wasting police time and locked him up for a day.

Same. He could have done with time in a cell.

Goldbar · 13/08/2025 13:54

Did the police explain to him the potential prison sentence for driving without a license or insurance? Or if, god forbid, he had injured or killed someone?

DoubtfulCat · 13/08/2025 13:53

Pp have mostly covered what I would say about the behaviour, but when I was about 16 a kid (also 16, so not insured and couldn’t drive) I knew tried to borrow his parents’ car when they were on holiday and in attempting to get it off their drive, burnt out the clutch.

So if your son fancies having a go in the car, definitely hide the keys away. He’d be paying off a new clutch till he retired, I think, if he did something similar!

JHound · 13/08/2025 13:53

Your son is a spoiled brat.

rainbowunicorn · 13/08/2025 13:52

FancyBiscuitsLevel · 13/08/2025 13:15

Is DH his dad? Who paid for the phone? How did he call the police without a phone or does he have a landline in his room?

Presumably he used one of the many APPs available to make calls feom a laptop. You dont need a landline just an Internet connection. No different from your average work place.

JudgeJ · 13/08/2025 13:52

PulchritudinousLycanthrope · 13/08/2025 13:41

He would have the internet password changed PDQ.

I was in school in the 70's. A mate of mine stole a 50p piece from his Grans little jug she had them set aside in for feeding the electric meter.

His mother grounded him for a year. She waited outside of secondary school every afternoon for a year and marched him home. He was genuinely kept prisoner all evening and every weekend every weekend for 52 weeks.

: )

Sadly we all know what the consequences today would be, poor little abused mite! I wonder if he stole again?

Nosleepforthismum · 13/08/2025 13:50

😂 I love that he told the police he was being held against his will! Reminds me of when we were teens and my siblings and I would mutter about reporting our parents to childline because we were made to empty the dishwasher which was practically child abuse…

Don’t worry OP, he’s just a teenager throwing a strop. Hopefully he’ll be secretly embarrassed enough not to waste any more police time even if he’s full of it now. It’ll be a funny story in a few years in any event.

NetZeroZealot · 13/08/2025 13:50

Look on the bright side OP. At least your 17 yo DS isn’t smoking weed as he’d never have called the police if he was.

(Mine was at that age & other dumb stuff but has turned into a delightful young man)

JudgeJ · 13/08/2025 13:49

GinAndJuice99 · 13/08/2025 13:11

There must be a BIT more to this, at least. Why did he feel he was being held against his will?

Maybe because at that moment he was being a nasty vengeful little prat. There doesn't always have to be an evil back-story.

Wordsmithery · 13/08/2025 13:49

@AnyoneWhoHasAHeart we do need to flag mental health problems in this scenario because the boy's behaviour was really quite... unusual. And his age group are at high risk of self harm - or worse - so it does pay to be cautious.
It's possible of course that he's just being a cheeky little gobshite, in which case there are no excuses.

WiddlinDiddlin · 13/08/2025 13:48

If he's not normally like this, something is going on. Dig deeper.

He set the argument up - he knows he can't borrow the car, he asked a question to which he knew the answer would be a vehement 'NO'.

Giving him cause to strop about and escalate something...

I'd take a look if you can, at who he is talking to, particularly online, and what he is watching/reading.

JudgeJ · 13/08/2025 13:47

TheNightingalesStarling · 13/08/2025 13:09

Did they explain the consequences of wasting police time?

And that next time there may not be a speedy response meaning that if he was in real danger there's be no-one there if he genuinely needed help.

itsgettingweird · 13/08/2025 13:45

Do you seriously need to question if he over reacted? 😂

He clearly did. He’s allowed his teenage hormone and entitlement allow him to act like a complete prat and now there needs to be consequences for those actions.

Ignore the neighbours - why give a toss what they think?

But if my da pulled this shit he’d be making up for it for a looknnnngggggg time!

Lafufufu · 13/08/2025 13:45

This is just not how you treat your family or aaln acceptable way to behave in general.

If for whatever reason the police couldnt see it was nonsense.. then it could have been very serious.

He is old enough to know this was nonsense, and that it could have gone differently and if it had, it could have had very serious and real consequences (eg. job loss etc) for you and your DH....all because he couldn't break the law and drive a car he wasnt entitled to drive because he was too lazy to walk to the shops ?!?!? Wtaf???

I would be so so disappointed in him.
i would having a long serious conversation with him and alot of his home comforts he takes for granted would be removed.

And also explaining to him if he is so unhappy and wants to review his housing situation as he is so "vulnerable" here you will 100% support him in that (with a view to him waking up and realising just how bad his other options are)

DiscoBob · 13/08/2025 13:44

You should've told the police he was attempting to steal and joyride a car without license or insurance. Stupid idiot.

Tell him if he ever does that again you will stop paying for his phone permanently.

parakeet · 13/08/2025 13:43

Did you explain to him there could have been terrible consequences for you and DH if the police had believed his lies? I don't know what jobs you do, but in some professions it could have threatened your livelihood.
There needs to be serious consequences for this. Does he have a Saturday job or do you give him an allowance? If the latter, cut him off.

PulchritudinousLycanthrope · 13/08/2025 13:41

He would have the internet password changed PDQ.

I was in school in the 70's. A mate of mine stole a 50p piece from his Grans little jug she had them set aside in for feeding the electric meter.

His mother grounded him for a year. She waited outside of secondary school every afternoon for a year and marched him home. He was genuinely kept prisoner all evening and every weekend every weekend for 52 weeks.

: )

cryinglaughing · 13/08/2025 13:41

@Thedoorisalwaysopen laughing in the face of adversity isn't a bad way to tackle life, teenagers and all that is thrown at us.

I'm sure the 10 minutes the cops took out of their day was worth it for them to ensure he wasn't being held against their will.

EineReiseDurchDieZeit · 13/08/2025 13:41

He’s acting like a much younger child though @YellowBall72 frankly in a manner that would suggest he has a learning disability. Is he waiting on A Levels or something stressful?

Berthatydfil · 13/08/2025 13:40

I would be calling the police and asking next time they had an officer in the area they call in and explain to your son the consequences of driving without a licence, and driving without insurance.

Mistyglade · 13/08/2025 13:39

Good grief, this is one of the maddest things I’ve read on here, of course YANBU. What the fuck is wrong with him. He’s gonna cringe something sorry when he’s older. Not sure brat remotely covers it.

Snorlaxo · 13/08/2025 13:39

I agree with hiding the car keys from now on.

Radiowaawaa · 13/08/2025 13:39

I would be concerned that he was so sure about using the car and calling the police especially if this is unusual for him.

Maybe other stuff going on for him? Is he stressed about college? Being bullied? Drugs?

How much do you know about his online life?

purplecorkheart · 13/08/2025 13:38

Is there a back story to this? Does your ds have other issues?

On the face of it, it is a strange request to borrow the car when he cannot drive. I do think it was a slight over reaction on you dh part to take away his phone because he was being a bit stroopy.

I do agree with the posters who suggest ensuring that he has no way of accessing the keys. Hopefully this will give him a sharp shock.

Radiowaawaa · 13/08/2025 13:38

I would be concerned that he was so sure about using the car and calling the police especially if this is unusual for him.

Maybe other stuff going on for him? Is he stressed about college? Being bullied? Drugs?

How much do you know about his online life?

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