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Original poster

To not understand the obsession with doing medicine

58 replies

SharpHazelDeer · 13/08/2025 01:35

My dd is 17 in the second last year of high school. She goes to an all girls' private school so I don't know if this is part of the reason why, but at least a quarter of her grade wants to study medicine when they graduate.

dd gets decent grades so she often gets asked if she wants to do medicine. When she says no she usually gets a shocked expression and sometimes people even ask her if she has given up. This really shouldn't be about race, but people are somehow under the assumption her dad (who is asian, so she is half asian) wants her to do medicine. In reality her dad doesn't care what she does as long as she does something constructive to whatever life she wants for herself.

I genuinely don't understand where these comments are coming from and they are making dd question if she should try for medicine but she knows she's not interested in being a physician.

OP posts:
Original poster
SharpHazelDeer · 13/08/2025 05:21

whatohwhattodo · 13/08/2025 05:14

There is an all girls grammar near me. We went to sixth form open evening and the vast majority of girls went into the medical field in some form - medicine, opthalmology, dentistry, vet etc etc.

its probably an 85% Asian school. I think a lot is lead by parents.

it was one of the things that made my daughter decide against it as she’s a humanities girl and she wasn’t sure she would get the support.

Part of why this annoys me is the assumption based on race; I personally don't think career choice should be influenced by race.

OP posts:
whatohwhattodo · 13/08/2025 05:14

There is an all girls grammar near me. We went to sixth form open evening and the vast majority of girls went into the medical field in some form - medicine, opthalmology, dentistry, vet etc etc.

its probably an 85% Asian school. I think a lot is lead by parents.

it was one of the things that made my daughter decide against it as she’s a humanities girl and she wasn’t sure she would get the support.

Original poster
SharpHazelDeer · 13/08/2025 03:58

push

OP posts:
Original poster
SharpHazelDeer · 13/08/2025 01:59

Ozgirl76 · 13/08/2025 01:55

Saying that, one family is very wealthy but the dad is a top neuroscientist so presumably pretty niche. The people I know who are GPs or work in hospitals are ok but not rich rich, especially when you look at the hours they do.
And medics are paid better here (Australia) than under the NHS.

We are in Australia too!

OP posts:
Ozgirl76 · 13/08/2025 01:55

Saying that, one family is very wealthy but the dad is a top neuroscientist so presumably pretty niche. The people I know who are GPs or work in hospitals are ok but not rich rich, especially when you look at the hours they do.
And medics are paid better here (Australia) than under the NHS.

Ozgirl76 · 13/08/2025 01:52

It used to be a pretty prestigious career and still can be if you go into something like surgery or work in private practice. But I know a lot of Drs (kids at private school) and they aren’t particularly well off - they’re comfortable but it’s nothing like it used to be.

It is obviously a tough job both mentally and academically but the balance between work and pay just isn’t there.

HAB75 · 13/08/2025 01:50

I went to that type of school 40 years ago. Nearly a quarter of my year became doctors. They are desperately trying to present other options - they have asked me to talk a few times and my job is not at all standard - but those girls are still subject to the aims of their parents, a lot of whom are....doctors.

Really you have to look at this as an opportunity in learning how to firmly plough your own furrow. I almost perfected that at school. In just one exception I allowed myself to be put off my first choice of topic at university - forensic science - because at the time no really good university offered the course. They may have been right - it certainly has nothing to do with that I do now (organisational behaviour specialist and coach). But other than that one steer, I learned how to put my foot down, gently but firmly, and that was good learning for life. So all they are really doing is offering your DD a valuable learning opportunity - how to say no without causing an upset.

HAB75 · 13/08/2025 01:50

SharpHazelDeer · 13/08/2025 01:35

My dd is 17 in the second last year of high school. She goes to an all girls' private school so I don't know if this is part of the reason why, but at least a quarter of her grade wants to study medicine when they graduate.

dd gets decent grades so she often gets asked if she wants to do medicine. When she says no she usually gets a shocked expression and sometimes people even ask her if she has given up. This really shouldn't be about race, but people are somehow under the assumption her dad (who is asian, so she is half asian) wants her to do medicine. In reality her dad doesn't care what she does as long as she does something constructive to whatever life she wants for herself.

I genuinely don't understand where these comments are coming from and they are making dd question if she should try for medicine but she knows she's not interested in being a physician.

I went to that type of school 40 years ago. Nearly a quarter of my year became doctors. They are desperately trying to present other options - they have asked me to talk a few times and my job is not at all standard - but those girls are still subject to the aims of their parents, a lot of whom are....doctors.

Really you have to look at this as an opportunity in learning how to firmly plough your own furrow. I almost perfected that at school. In just one exception I allowed myself to be put off my first choice of topic at university - forensic science - because at the time no really good university offered the course. They may have been right - it certainly has nothing to do with that I do now (organisational behaviour specialist and coach). But other than that one steer, I learned how to put my foot down, gently but firmly, and that was good learning for life. So all they are really doing is offering your DD a valuable learning opportunity - how to say no without causing an upset.