Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not remind my husband it's my birthday?

795 replies

DoneWithThisShizzle · 12/08/2025 23:21

That's it exactly. It's my birthday in approximately 24 hours and I think he has forgotten. Hasn't asked what I want or snuck anything into the house. I've answered the door to the postie for the past two weeks and taken in nothing that he hasn't opened and shown me.

So as not to dripfeed, it's his mum's birthday the day after, it's a big one, so he's been organising a party for that (not that I think it's a good excuse to forget mine).

Do I remind him? Or not?

OP posts:
SomewhatAnnoyed · 14/08/2025 08:17

DoneWithThisShizzle · 13/08/2025 19:59

Thank you! This is absolutely, 100% the situation. He's remembered now so has just got himself off the hook, but I will be ribbing him for having me concerned! The daft numpty!

Show quote history

Had he completely forgotten or was he just not mentioning it?

I can’t believe he forgot it for the amount of time he decided to plan and was planning his mums birthday. How did it come about that you found out he had remembered?

PlayingDevilsAdvocateisinteresting · 14/08/2025 08:12

Happy Birthday @DoneWithThisShizzle I hope that you have a wonderful day, and that both you and your DH enjoy the lemon drizzle cake! 🩷 xxx

Robin67 · 14/08/2025 08:02

Happy Birthday!

bittertwisted · 14/08/2025 08:00

Christ alive leave the poor woman alone, he remembered anyway

I wouldn’t remind my husband about my birthday because
a) I would be embarrassed if he had remembered and by reminding I spoilt a surprise
b) I wouldn’t like the ‘Forced fun’ of reminding

with DH1 my birthday is the same day as his mums, so no forgetting possible
with DH2 I would see forgetting as a far bigger issue around his feelings for me. I wouldn’t sulk or be passive aggressive

However I share a birthday with Dolly Parton who DH2 loves

so if I did want to enact tragic birthday scorned victim I could loudly play ‘DIVORCE’ whilst blowing out the candle on my cupcake for one

StampOnTheGround · 14/08/2025 07:43

Happy Birthday OP birthday twin! (And I think I read a comment about a triplet, can’t find it now but happy birthday to you too!)

Rosscameasdoody · 14/08/2025 07:29

DontFeedTheDucks · 14/08/2025 07:09

Happy Birthday OP!
I’d be so offended. I’d try to wait until 9pm, and say come on I’ve been waiting all day, the anticipation is killing me, you must’ve gone all out this year, what did you get me for my birthday?! And if I wait any longer for my birthday cake I’ll be sleep-eating!

Except that he remembered yesterday.

Cavello · 14/08/2025 07:28

Happy Birthday 🎂 🥳 Hope you have a lovely day, glad he remembered 🥳

MyDeftDuck · 14/08/2025 07:27

We have a calendar hanging up in the kitchen…….each January I fill in all the birthdays for the forthcoming year, even our own. Works for us

Rosscameasdoody · 14/08/2025 07:26

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Ahwelltoobad · 14/08/2025 07:25

Happy birthday! 🥳

Missingducks · 14/08/2025 07:16

Happy Birthday 🎂 🎂

WinterFrogs · 14/08/2025 07:11

LadyTable · 12/08/2025 23:45

Christ I'd hate to be in a marriage like this.

DH and I often forget certain dates and have to be reminded and yes, sometimes that includes birthdays and anniversaries!

"Oi Dave" or "Oi Jan" "Remember it's my birthday next Wednesday."

"Oh bollocks, shit, fuck! Thanks for reminding me".

No drama and no silly games 🤷‍♀️

25 years of marriage and this still works for us.

Dh and I are a bit like this. It makes for a much happier marriage.

Happy Birthday @DoneWithThisShizzle

Apparentlystillchilled · 14/08/2025 07:09

Happy birthday @DoneWithThisShizzle !🎂

DontFeedTheDucks · 14/08/2025 07:09

Happy Birthday OP!
I’d be so offended. I’d try to wait until 9pm, and say come on I’ve been waiting all day, the anticipation is killing me, you must’ve gone all out this year, what did you get me for my birthday?! And if I wait any longer for my birthday cake I’ll be sleep-eating!

Rosscameasdoody · 14/08/2025 07:02

Cannotmakeadecision · 14/08/2025 06:41

Agree with this; unless he is a rubbish husband and there is more history than this.

Show quote history

He’s not a rubbish husband - OP has been clear about that several times and says she never intended to make a fuss if he forgot. She just found it odd that he hadn’t mentioned anything and wasn’t sure whether to remind him, and possibly ruin a surprise he had planned, or stay quiet . The tone of her posts was light hearted and she was active in taking part, but still some posters tried their best to turn it into a kickfest by inventing an unhappy marriage and painting OP as trying to humiliate her husband and set a trap for him. Sometimes an OP is actually telling it like it is, and there is nothing more.

PotatoesAreLife · 14/08/2025 06:49

Happy Birthday!!!!

Rosscameasdoody · 14/08/2025 06:48

Anotherbeeloudglade · 13/08/2025 23:41

We're all rooting for you, nobody should be deprived of the satisfaction of causing a loving husband to feel like shit. 👏👏👏

Show quote history

Can l ask whether you’re OK? Not sure whether you’re bitter and unhappy about something and are projecting it onto OP or if you’re just another keyboard warrior being vile for no particular reason other than your own self satisfaction.

Cannotmakeadecision · 14/08/2025 06:41

kleverklogs · 12/08/2025 23:31

What is the point of setting this trap for him?
If he has remembered - you have achieved nothing you wouldn’t have got anyway.
If he has forgotten - you have pretty much guaranteed yourself an argument on your birthday.

Just remind him and have a nice day tomorrow. Life is too short to go looking for fights with people we love.

Agree with this; unless he is a rubbish husband and there is more history than this.

Left · 14/08/2025 06:34

Happy birthday OP! 🧁 x

Rosscameasdoody · 14/08/2025 06:34

Happy Birthday OP. 🎂🍾Hope you have a lovely day.

Rosscameasdoody · 14/08/2025 06:33

Fireflybaby · 14/08/2025 06:24

Your birthday has been the day before his mum's birthday since you got married. I'd say it's hard to forget since he's organising his mum's birthday. Just wait until the morning and if nothing happens just breezely say, shall we go at this restaurant for dinner for my birthday tonight?
If he hasn't forgot he might tell you his plans for your bday.
Happy birthday! 🎂🍾🥂

OP update yesterday to say he had remembered and asked her where she wanted to go.

Goldbar31 · 14/08/2025 06:30

HBD Op!

BlankBlankBlank14 · 14/08/2025 06:28

Happy birthday 🥳… glad he remembered! Enjoy your day.

Fireflybaby · 14/08/2025 06:24

Your birthday has been the day before his mum's birthday since you got married. I'd say it's hard to forget since he's organising his mum's birthday. Just wait until the morning and if nothing happens just breezely say, shall we go at this restaurant for dinner for my birthday tonight?
If he hasn't forgot he might tell you his plans for your bday.
Happy birthday! 🎂🍾🥂

Tinker1292 · 14/08/2025 06:17

I hate to be nosy ... But can we have an update ❤️ did he forget?

Happiest of birthdays for today lovely , regardless of what happens I hope your day is amazing and you spoil yourself 💖💖💖💖

Swipe left for the next trending thread