Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not remind my husband it's my birthday?

795 replies

DoneWithThisShizzle · 12/08/2025 23:21

That's it exactly. It's my birthday in approximately 24 hours and I think he has forgotten. Hasn't asked what I want or snuck anything into the house. I've answered the door to the postie for the past two weeks and taken in nothing that he hasn't opened and shown me.

So as not to dripfeed, it's his mum's birthday the day after, it's a big one, so he's been organising a party for that (not that I think it's a good excuse to forget mine).

Do I remind him? Or not?

OP posts:
Doyouremembergirl · 14/08/2025 17:31

harriethoyle · 14/08/2025 10:54

HAPPY BIRTHDAY @DoneWithThisShizzle Cake

Sorry message sent to wrong person x

Braygirlnow · 14/08/2025 17:03

DoneWithThisShizzle · 13/08/2025 15:22

I can guarantee that mummy wouldn't have said anything. I love her to bits but she's not the communicative type.

Show quote history

Why are you still assuming he forgot? First you worry that he has forgotten your birthday, because he hasn't mentioned it, now that he mentioned it you wounder who reminded him, Facebook or did he just suddenly remember?..maybe he has known its your birthday this week, why still the assuming he forgot till last minute?

LittlleMy · 14/08/2025 16:51

Happy birthday @DoneWithThisShizzle! I don’t and will never know you but it felt important to leave a birthday message in case you were forgotten. And happy birthday to all those other PP who share this date with you! 💐🎂

MrsHoneyMummy · 14/08/2025 16:12

Just popped back to wish you a Happy Birthday @DoneWithThisShizzle and hope you have a great time both today and tomorrow.

PrettyParrot · 14/08/2025 15:17

Happy birthday OP - glad it worked out nicely :)

DrNo007 · 14/08/2025 15:03

DH and I have no problem talking about our birthdays in advance because we like to buy each other something that we actually want and we like to plan an outing on the day, like a meal out or similar. The side effect of this collaboration is that neither can forget the other's birthday. I don't understand those who refuse to mention it and 'wait and see' if the other one falls into their carefully laid trap. Why spoil what would be a lovely joint treat? People forget stuff, myself included, and it's not necessarily indicative of whether they love you or care about you, or not.

outdooryone · 14/08/2025 14:56

Happy birthday.
But you have just prompted me to think I might head off early from work and go sup a suitable cold alcoholic beverage in the sun somewhere nice....

EverythingElseIsTaken · 14/08/2025 13:27

SarBe · 14/08/2025 11:09

Just remind him!

And cancel the cheque while you’re at it…. 🙄

CustardySergeant · 14/08/2025 13:03

Saladbar · 14/08/2025 12:43

It’s the fact he can arrange a big do for mummy that would have me raging! This also means there is a memory anchor of oh your birthday is the day before his mothers!

No need to rage, as he remembered.

Saladbar · 14/08/2025 12:43

It’s the fact he can arrange a big do for mummy that would have me raging! This also means there is a memory anchor of oh your birthday is the day before his mothers!

LikeMindedLady · 14/08/2025 12:29

Happy birthday! It's my birthday today too... my OH gave me some truly hideous Croc sandals and a pack of industrial washing up gloves.... I kind of wish he'd forgotten my b'day 🤣🤣

pinkyredrose · 14/08/2025 12:19

That sounds like a glorious day! Happy Birthday Op!

rainbowstardrops · 14/08/2025 11:57

SarBe · 14/08/2025 11:09

Just remind him!

Just read the thread!!!!

CactusPeach · 14/08/2025 11:53

Happy Birthday @DoneWithThisShizzle 🎂

You sound like a lovely person in your replies, kind and with a sense of humour, I hope you had a great time with your best friend yesterday and have a lovely day today, I'm sure they are both lucky to have you in their lives. Wishing you a happy birthday today and all the future years.

Falseknock · 14/08/2025 11:50

It sounds like it ended well enjoy your day. Leo's love a good drama.

Lurkingonmn · 14/08/2025 11:45

Happy birthday!
I wouldn't have reminded him. I'd be hurt but I don't need much on my birthday anyway. My husband tends to get me things leading up to my birthday then gets excited and gives them to me early. He's more likely to forget our anniversary... but he has both tattooed on him and still has to look sometimes.

Falseknock · 14/08/2025 11:40

DoneWithThisShizzle · 12/08/2025 23:52

Harsh! We generally remember dates that are important to each other without any prompting, so this is a new and unusual situation.

Show quote history

How old will you be?

Alliod40 · 14/08/2025 11:17

Oh my god why does it have to be a feckin drama..if he's busy preparing for his mams big birthday good on him and he's simply forgot,yes it's bad but just say it or hint at it,why make him feel bad and then you both have a shitty day when there's no need for it,honestly I just don't understand woman like this if you have a good marriage otherwise

CuddlesKovinsky · 14/08/2025 11:13

Enjoy your lemon drizzle, @DoneWithThisShizzle !

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! 🎂

BeachLifeForMe · 14/08/2025 11:11

DoneWithThisShizzle · 14/08/2025 10:29

Hello everyone and THANK YOU 😊 for your lovely birthday wishes 😘

I got a lie-in, a card, and a gift from my favorite natural skincare shop. We'll be getting out shortly to enjoy the day. I've planned a visit to my favorite open garden, where we can sit in the sun with lemon drizzle cake 🍰 and then a trip to either the sea or woodland, depending on just how hot this day turns! 🔥 Then a meal out with a chilled pint of good ale 👍

This has been an interesting thread and it's clear that we all have different feelings and approaches to celebrating our loved ones. We are unique and diverse beings and all as beautiful and valid as each other 😘

Some of you have shared your stories and they have hit me in the heart. I wish you all the love in world ❤️

I'll leave the thread open for the rest of the day for those who are invested and want to catch up.

Be good to each other 😊

I've been following this post with interest in the last few days. So glad it's all worked out well for you in the end! Have a lovely birthday 🎂🎉💐

SarBe · 14/08/2025 11:09

Just remind him!

harriethoyle · 14/08/2025 10:54

HAPPY BIRTHDAY @DoneWithThisShizzle Cake

Original poster
DoneWithThisShizzle · 14/08/2025 10:29

Hello everyone and THANK YOU 😊 for your lovely birthday wishes 😘

I got a lie-in, a card, and a gift from my favorite natural skincare shop. We'll be getting out shortly to enjoy the day. I've planned a visit to my favorite open garden, where we can sit in the sun with lemon drizzle cake 🍰 and then a trip to either the sea or woodland, depending on just how hot this day turns! 🔥 Then a meal out with a chilled pint of good ale 👍

This has been an interesting thread and it's clear that we all have different feelings and approaches to celebrating our loved ones. We are unique and diverse beings and all as beautiful and valid as each other 😘

Some of you have shared your stories and they have hit me in the heart. I wish you all the love in world ❤️

I'll leave the thread open for the rest of the day for those who are invested and want to catch up.

Be good to each other 😊

OP posts:
Original poster
DoneWithThisShizzle · 14/08/2025 10:15

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 14/08/2025 09:43

Happy Birthday OP and the birthday triplets!!!

I think what this thread has really highlighted is that people struggle to understand that not everyone is like them. It’s lots of “well I’d have said something weeks ago so why haven’t you?”, or “I don’t bother with my birthday so why do you?”. A lot of people seem to be rather blinkered on the issue.

Personally I’d have planned my own birthday celebration weeks ahead and bought my own present, leaving DH to get me a card which he could never forget because I’ll have told him about my plans and what he’s bought me as a present (all money is shared). But that’s just me. I’m not great with surprises, and a birthday is an opportunity to get something nice for me that I actually want, but wouldn’t justify spending money on except as a birthday or Christmas present.

This thread has made me realise something though. I did think I wasn’t too bothered about birthdays as opposed to some people who want their partner to make a fuss of them and come up with a nice surprise (nothing wrong with that, just not what I want). However, we have both sets of parents living locally, along with my sister and her family, and a birthday is an opportunity to get everyone together for a BBQ. I just love having all the family together, so that’s my focus, I don’t really connect it to the importance of my birthday. However, if I didn’t have a big family to celebrate with locally, I might want more of a fuss from DH. Perhaps it’s easier to care less about birthdays when you are fortunate enough to be surrounded by a loving family, but not everyone has that.

I hope everyone has a lovely birthday.

Thank you for this thoughtful post 😊 We are all different, and this post really highlights that. We need to be so much kinder and considerate of each other. This planet is hard enough without posts about birthdays being so contentious.

OP posts:
lunaswand · 14/08/2025 10:14

Happy Birthday OP

Swipe left for the next trending thread