To not remind my husband it's my birthday?

you can react to this two ways.

1. remind him with a firm and solid laugh and that hed better have not fogotten.
2. book yourself a nice meal for yourself, walk out the door, announce where and why you are going.
   number 2 part sounds a resounding message, but a little petty when you think about it. I’d opt for number one. Some people organising a party is b stressful and it may have taken a lot out of him. Although it’s still rubbish if he has forgotten.
   is he one to throw surprise parties?

I don't understand some people's need for others to be able to memorise dates. If you want your husband to celebrate your birthday and you think he's forgotten, then, yes, remind him. Why wouldn't you? Just so that you can punish him for not having the date commited to memory? Why?

Happy birthday 🙂

Personally I wouldn't remind him, he should remember regardless of being busy, even more so if so close to his mum's and that's what he has been occupied with.

If you remind him now, you might get something rushed and with little thought, see what happens and I hope your pleasantly surprised, and if he has forgot hope he makes it up to you ten times over and if he doesn't I would be inclined to reflect the efforts when it's his birthday as someone else said. Petty, maybe, but it would be fair.

Happy birthday for tomorrow and do let us know the outcome!

My birthday is usually around a major bank holiday so easily remembered.

Funny you should say that, my birthday is very close to Christmas and has been 'forgotten' a few times over the years by various people (including my parents!) as there's just too much going on and it's all about Chrimbo. It's an inconvenient birthday! It used to irk me a bit but the older I get the less I care about birthdays. My DH forgot one year until I reminded him part way though the day. He said he'd got confused about what day of the week it was which I can't argue with as I often say "is it Monday or Tuesday today?"

I took two steps into the kitchen that morning at 6am and saw what they had done and cried like a baby! I had gone up to bed very late the night before too at about midnight so they must have set it all up after they knew I’d gone up! Two years on, they continue to make me proud in everything they do…their dad would have been so proud of them 🥰

Facebook does do the birthdays coming up thing, so it could have been that.

But my money's on his mummy.

Have a lovely day!

You will require to be taken out to dinner, of course.

Don’t play games or test him, just come out and say it. Just jokingly say…oooo someone’s got a special day soon and leave it at that? I write my birthday in bright red big letters on the family calendar hanging on the kitchen door 😆 it’s a tradition in our house that birthdays are a huge deal! Balloons, bunting, gifts, cake etc all set up in the kitchen diner once whoever’s birthday it is has gone to bed so it’s a surprise in the morning! My first birthday after my husband passed away was only two months after…I honestly didn’t think much of it but when I woke up the next day, my two kids (then 16 and 20) had decorated the whole kitchen with ribbons and bunting and balloons and gifts etc 🥹 even in the depths of their grief, they thought about making it special for me! That was the best present they could have given me..

I’d think if your birthday is the day before his mums and he’s remembered hers I don’t see how he can forget yours?

I agree with the people saying it’s been your birthday the day before his mums since you have been together so he should know! Does he think you maybe don’t care this year because focus is on his mum and her “big do” have you been helping with the organising of that too?

I would drop a hint like oh it’s nice sharing the birthday weekend with your mum it will feel like a party for me too or something like that.

In the big picture does it really matter? He's obviously thoughtful if he's sorting his mums day out. Should be proud of him not nattering him. Happy birthday.

My hubby only remembers mine as its a week after his. Our wedding anniversary we never remember my mum used to remind us but she is gone now.

Hmm. I forgot DHs birthday twice when we were younger. Once just after I had a c-section and once when I had started a new job (and was still doing the lion’s share of the domestic labour). My bad.

I do think that asking you the day before what you want to do is rather unreasonable - it's really lazy.

There's no excuse for not having dates on your calendar or reminders. Again, lazy.

Great husbands don't forget their wives birthday , but can remember his mother's!

Never remind anyone it's your birthday. If you have to remind them, what's the point?

I am glad he's remembered/been reminded...

Why does forgetting something = 'doesn't care'.

Most of the time when people realise they've forgotten, they're upset and feel awful, which does not signify 'doesn't care' at all.

I forget shit all the time, my brain is quite happy to yoink a bit of information out of my way for a day or two, then present it to me the day after/hour after it was relevant with a 'tadaaaaaaaaaaa heres that info you needed yesterday'...

Its horrible -but it doesn't mean I don't care. It means I set reminders and write things down in a calendar and still.. sometimes, fuck up.

If my partner were to realise I'd forgotten and sit there all day knowing I've forgotten and not give me a hint... and then get upset about it. That would be pretty shitty, thats far worse than forgetting, that is actively letting someone get hurt as revenge.

I know that feeling @Smilesinthesunshine. He does get me "aomething" but it's often something from the co-op

What's the point of this? Marriage isn't about scoring points off each other. You're supposed to be a team.
If he has forgotten and you don't remind him then you will have a shit day and an argument.
Is that what you want for you birthday?
If he's otherwise a good husband and is a bit absent minded then just remind him!
We both forgot our anniversary this year - (29 years) doesn't mean we don't love each other!