Visitors after birth

MiL and Fil were our first visitors, a few hours after DD was born. MiL was wheeled up to visit from oncology to meet her namesake.

My parents came 3 days later, driving 200 miles each way in one day to meet their granddaughter.

I couldn't imagine even considering hiding DD away from her closest family, let alone treating each side differently. People are very weird about babies these days. In a year or so they all complain that nobody is willing to help.

Normally they'll be visiting in the hospital? The only ones I've heard of not doing this are if you go home straight after birth. I would just say to welcome everyone straight away, unless they've done something really bad to you. Making one set of grandparents wait seems very unfair, and can set up a load of problems. If you're worried they'll do something really bad based on what you've seen in the past, say if they try to demand you make a 5 course meal for them, give a list of ways they can help, like bringing you and your partner food, and set clear expectations-like I'll only be feeding people who wear nappies! I would have been really mad at my partner if he'd suggested one set of grandparents were more important and should get to come first, whether that was his or mine. To be honest, my mum would have torn strips off me-she always hated MIL jokes and said that if you love your partner/baby, remember to honour where they came from. For other family, see who wants to visit and again, try to be equal-if anyone you know is likely to be an issue, eg SIL bringing her toddlers who'll run round knocking things over, you can say to arrange sitters/let other family watch them, if they've got history of causing issues.

I would wait and see how you feel after the birth. I had an emergency section under general anaesthetic and didn’t feel up to any visitors.
are you asking everyone to wait or just your in laws?

Its personal choice and it really depends on how the birth etc goes.
We didnt make plans luckily as the birth of our 1st was a bit of a drama. I think it was 10 days, poss a bit more before the in laws met her.
They arent local and couldnt possibly fit us into their busy, retired schedule sooner.
If im honest i wish we had left it longer simply because they made everything about them. Demanded to be waited on hand and foot and completely disregarded how unwell I was which actually really upset me. They wouldnt give baby back for feeds and generally just got in our way.
My mother visited after 6 days, only because DH went and picked her up due to her ill health. She was incredibly helpful and didnt even ask to hold baby until we offered. Her visit was cut short by a midwife visit which landed me back in hospital.

This time around we will only invite people over once we are ready. We know there will be alot of monitoring following the birth so we just want some time to ourselves after what has been a very stressful pregnancy.
Everyone is individual though and you need to decide as a family what works for you both.

If you are asking everyone to wait a certain time period then it's up to you. I personally couldn't wait to introduce my baby to my friends and family and loved the visitors but it really is a personal choice.

If it's just that you are singling out your in laws it becomes a bit unfair then (unless there's a back story you haven't put up).

I likely wont help you here.

it is one of my most treasured memories wheb mil and fil came to meet their first granddaughter. I can still see fil standing there holding her so proud.

They arrived within 24 hours with all 4 of mine and were welcome. (Fil had passed before no 4 arrived)

I love having my family close and this was no exception .

Do you like them? How far away do they live which will affect whether they can pop in for an hour or would want to come and stay ages?

With both of mine I was desperate for people to meet them and I had complicated sections so I lay around in my pjs while they brought biscuits and admired my babies and had a cuddle, but our friends and family are decent sorts who don’t overstay, arrange to visit in advance and are peaceful to spend time with.

It’s completely personal to you. I thought I didn’t want visitors in hospital or for a little while once we got home, but then baby was born and I couldn’t wait for people to visit.

We said 2 weeks for both mine and DH's family. Everything went fine so we ended up inviting them over sooner than that. However, it was good to set expectations just in case. I know some people think 2 weeks is way too long but I had no idea how id feel, as it was my first baby. I also thought it was important to treat both families equally.

It's a personal thing so only you can say.

With all 3 of my births I couldn't wait to have my mum, dad, siblings and inlaws come and visit, so they were there about 2 hours after.

But if you want more time then I suggest you play it by ear and keep them updated as to when you're up to it.

Are you asking everyone to wait or just your in laws?