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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU that my mother is playing me against another buyer for his house

33 replies

EarthStroller · 12/08/2025 18:06

I am buying my mother's house from him, yet another family that were going to buy it have suddenly come back and offered £5k more. This is extremely near exchange and puts the house over the general house price. She is now going to allow this gazumping and go with the external offer unless i meet the additional £5k. AIBU to think this is unfair behaviour, after all I am family and thought she would be kind enough to keep it in the family as long as she gets fair value for it. I appreciate it is ultimately her home and she wants to get as much money for her retirement but this has really rubbed me up the wrong way and upset me.

OP posts:
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Gruttenberg · 13/08/2025 21:09

EarthStroller · 13/08/2025 17:35

Sorry for the confusion everyone, i was very stressed when writing this message. To clarify the mother is selling the house, i am the daughter.

I don't think people were confused with who is the mother and who is the daughter - it was you calling your mother him and his that's confused everyone.

MrTiddlesTheCat · 13/08/2025 17:45

Blimey, your mother is happy to throw away her relationship with you for £5k. Don't pay it. Let her decide to come to her senses or sever her relationship with you.

13SixWeetabix · 13/08/2025 17:42

Wow. You two are clearly not close, so there isn't much to lose here in that regard. I'd hold my nerves and say no, it's the price agreed or nothing, and then just let that play out then distance yourself either way afterwards . I hope you have plenty of love and care from the other people in your life.

Parky04 · 13/08/2025 17:40

I would tell her to fuck off and never speak to her again!

Poopeepoopee · 13/08/2025 17:38

Wayk · 12/08/2025 21:48

My friend’s father did this to her. She was very upset. Surely she is saving the cost of an estate agent by by selling directly to her daughter. Walk away

She would still have to pay the estate agent even if she sold it to her daughter. If you register with an agent you pay them, regardless of where the buyer came from.

Original poster
EarthStroller · 13/08/2025 17:35

Sorry for the confusion everyone, i was very stressed when writing this message. To clarify the mother is selling the house, i am the daughter.

OP posts:
Wayk · 12/08/2025 21:48

My friend’s father did this to her. She was very upset. Surely she is saving the cost of an estate agent by by selling directly to her daughter. Walk away

CaptainMyCaptain · 12/08/2025 19:49

CosyMintFish · 12/08/2025 18:33

I am struggling with the pronouns.

Me too. His house, buying my mother's house from him. Is there someone else who owns the house?

Lafufufu · 12/08/2025 19:46

If i was her... I wouldn't do that to my child

If i was you I wouldn't match it amd if she came back to say she'd take the original price i wouldn't pay it.

Buy something else do not touch that house. The kind of woman that would squeeze you for 5k at the 11th.hour is the kind of woman that will try and say she "gave it away to you" and hold it over you for 20 years.

Lurkingandlearning · 12/08/2025 19:44

It's close to exchange for you and your mother, but not close to exchange for the new offer. When they get close to exchange the new buyer could drop their offer by any amount, maybe by £10k. That happened to me. So your mother could end up losing out. To me that would be quite satisfying, given how she's more interested in money than keeping an agreement she's made with her daughter.

If you did agree to match their offer, they could increase it again. Just don't do it.

I'm curious to know how she came to get another offer. If you'd agreed to buy the house at market value, why wasn't it a private sale handled by your respective solicitors? Having agreed to sell to you did she then put the house on the open market with an estate agent?

WorriedMutha · 12/08/2025 19:17

I hope she remembers this in her later years when you put yourself first. Which you should. I assume you've incurred expenses if you are close to exchange. Your mother is a shit and what goes around comes around.

MMO · 12/08/2025 19:16

Wow if this is real that's horrendous behavior!

FOJN · 12/08/2025 19:15

ForCraftyWriter · 12/08/2025 18:37

So OP you and other posters are essentially expecting your mother to gift you £5k that she needs for her retirement

The mother accepted the OP's offer, they are approaching completion. Gazumping is a shitty thing to do to anyone nevermind your own child but if her mum could not afford to sell the house for the price she agreed then she should not have let the sale get this far.

Seeingadistance · 12/08/2025 19:12

CosyMintFish · 12/08/2025 18:33

I am struggling with the pronouns.

So am I. It makes no sense to me.

JamDisaster · 12/08/2025 19:12

Walk away. Gazumping is poor behaviour even if you’re not mother and daughter.

Cherrysoup · 12/08/2025 19:10

Blimey! How is your relationship generally with her?

Namechangedagain999 · 12/08/2025 19:09

Is your mother a male?

HisNibs · 12/08/2025 19:09

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 12/08/2025 18:40

I’d be paying her no more money and if she did pull out of the sale , I’d be saying I hope the 5k was worth the loss of our relationship.

Exactly this.

Also, assuming this other buyer actually exists, your DM will be back to square one in the whole process with no guarantees that they won't pull out.

MamaElephantMama · 12/08/2025 18:46

I would withdraw and distance from her.

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 12/08/2025 18:40

I’d be paying her no more money and if she did pull out of the sale , I’d be saying I hope the 5k was worth the loss of our relationship.

Jellycatspyjamas · 12/08/2025 18:40

ForCraftyWriter · 12/08/2025 18:37

So OP you and other posters are essentially expecting your mother to gift you £5k that she needs for her retirement

She agreed a price with her daughter that presumably she was happy with, the additional money means her daughter would be paying over the house value - it’s a shit move to pull with your child.

JimmyGiraffe · 12/08/2025 18:40

CosyMintFish · 12/08/2025 18:33

I am struggling with the pronouns.

Me too

Snorlaxo · 12/08/2025 18:37

It’s dickish behaviour and I would pull out.

ForCraftyWriter · 12/08/2025 18:37

So OP you and other posters are essentially expecting your mother to gift you £5k that she needs for her retirement

citygirl77 · 12/08/2025 18:36

That is shocking