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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think the middle class complain more than the poor or rich?

66 replies

BluntCoralWren · 12/08/2025 15:18

The poor just get on with surviving, the rich are cushioned but the middle class moan endlessly about everything from schools to holidays. AIBU?

OP posts:
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Jukeboxjulie69 · 13/01/2026 23:46

pamelanoon · 12/08/2025 16:15

There is no class.

That is a very old fashioned notion.

Are you in the 1800's?

Edited

You are so right

Absentmindedsmile · 15/08/2025 17:16

Absentmindedsmile · 12/08/2025 15:27

Maybe!

Who qualifies as the poor’, and who are ‘the middle class’ and who are ‘the rich’, according to you?

We still didn’t get an answer here, or did we?

ChildFreeAndOhSoHappy · 12/08/2025 21:29

pearberry · 12/08/2025 16:15

YANBU, with some caveats.

Some middle-class people are concerned about inequality because they can see that although they're personally OK, the UK is very unequal in general.

And some middle-class people are concerned about inequality because they think they are poorer than they actually are (see third link).

And some middle-class people don't care about inequality because they perceive that poorer people have it easier (e.g. all the "free" stuff they get, which is meant to even out some of the difference, but of course doesn't actually do it very well). Like that thread recently where someone was convinced a neighbour earning less than her had more disposable income (whether or not that was actually the case, and ignoring all the other differences between them!).

Obviously the benefit system is not well-designed, and there are some steep drops at certain points (my partner doesn't work more at his minimum wage job, partly because he would only keep 45% of the extra, on UC, and he'd rather have the time than the money). But there is also usually room to simplify one's lifestyle if one earns plenty but still feels poor. People tend to spend what they have available.

And even if a middle-class family did have proportionally less disposable income than a poorer family, they would still likely have more in absolute terms (and often assets such as a house).

Our household income is in the lowest decile, and we're in the precariat (lowest class) according to the BBC calculator. I complain about inequality in general, but not so much my own situation; we're mostly OK (though of course it could always be easier!).

Income percentile calculator: https://ifs.org.uk/tools_and_resources/where_do_you_fit_in

BBC modern class calculator: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/special/2013/newsspec_5093/index.stm

Conversation article: theconversation.com/where-you-think-you-are-in-society-not-where-you-actually-are-matters-for-how-you-think-about-inequality-259715

These calculators were interesting to play around with but not sure how accurate.

pamelanoon · 12/08/2025 20:04

There is still not one explanation of what middle class actually is.

Absentmindedsmile · 12/08/2025 19:30

Meanwhile, the uber rich are laughing all the way to the bank (tax haven on advice from expensive accountants) while the rest of us plebs fight it out amongst ourselves.

Correct.

Jc2001 · 12/08/2025 18:57

BluntCoralWren · 12/08/2025 15:47

No, just someone capable of forming an opinion without needing a press pass.

.. normally when people offer an option they explain why they came to that conclusion based on what they've seen, heard it read. Not just make a statement and then disappear without any sort of follow up. Otherwise it's just a baseless statement.

Anyone is capable of that.

pearberry · 12/08/2025 18:56

Azdcgbjml · 12/08/2025 18:33

The rich people moan because they have to pay more tax than the poor people who they feel they are subsidising. They, of course, are the ones that employ the poor people but don't pay them enough to live on so the government has to step in with benefits so that they can afford to live. So really the government is subsidising their business to have cheap employees.

The poor people moan about immigrants because certain uber rich people have done a very good job of convincing them that the immigrants are the ones making them poor, rather than the rich people who are benefiting from their hard work without paying them a decent wage.

Those in the middle moan because they used to live a very comfortable life 10 - 15 years ago but now everything has got so expensive that even though they are not poor, they are having to watch the pennies and they feel entitled not to have to worry about money because they "worked hard" and got "good jobs". Obviously (not at all) people like care workers on minimum wage are only poor because they are lazy and don't work hard and they get benefit top ups which just isn't fair on the wealthier people who have to pay more tax.

Meanwhile, the uber rich are laughing all the way to the bank (tax haven on advice from expensive accountants) while the rest of us plebs fight it out amongst ourselves.

Elon Musk $413.2 billion
Vladimir Putin $70 billion
Donald Trump $7 billion
Rishi Sunak $800 million
James Dyson £21 billion

It is worth watching the video to see the scale and think about Elon's wealth and why he weilds so much power.

https://youtube.com/shorts/fV-csopXZPs?si=XsE16LNZrNXQHyFJ

Your post reminded me of this:

https://miro.medium.com/v2/resize:fit:640/format:webp/1*txP9TNp3wvb3XxS7fk279A.jpeg

JackJarvisEsq · 12/08/2025 18:52

I never stop moaning but I’m not middle class!

Meadowfinch · 12/08/2025 18:50

Define middle class. I don't hear much moaning from my middle class friends and colleagues.

Generally I think most people are practical and philosophical. Most have their heads down, working hard to ensure they can still afford whatever is important to them. Whinging won't change anything. I'd rather use my energy keeping funds rolling in.

DiscoBob · 12/08/2025 18:45

Define 'poor' or 'rich', and 'middle class' for that matter.

How could you quantify it?

OriginalUsername2 · 12/08/2025 18:39

pamelanoon · 12/08/2025 16:15

There is no class.

That is a very old fashioned notion.

Are you in the 1800's?

Edited

There’s the owning class and then the rest of us.

kim204 · 12/08/2025 18:35

Are you complaining about people complaining OP? How very middle class.

Azdcgbjml · 12/08/2025 18:33

The rich people moan because they have to pay more tax than the poor people who they feel they are subsidising. They, of course, are the ones that employ the poor people but don't pay them enough to live on so the government has to step in with benefits so that they can afford to live. So really the government is subsidising their business to have cheap employees.

The poor people moan about immigrants because certain uber rich people have done a very good job of convincing them that the immigrants are the ones making them poor, rather than the rich people who are benefiting from their hard work without paying them a decent wage.

Those in the middle moan because they used to live a very comfortable life 10 - 15 years ago but now everything has got so expensive that even though they are not poor, they are having to watch the pennies and they feel entitled not to have to worry about money because they "worked hard" and got "good jobs". Obviously (not at all) people like care workers on minimum wage are only poor because they are lazy and don't work hard and they get benefit top ups which just isn't fair on the wealthier people who have to pay more tax.

Meanwhile, the uber rich are laughing all the way to the bank (tax haven on advice from expensive accountants) while the rest of us plebs fight it out amongst ourselves.

Elon Musk $413.2 billion
Vladimir Putin $70 billion
Donald Trump $7 billion
Rishi Sunak $800 million
James Dyson £21 billion

It is worth watching the video to see the scale and think about Elon's wealth and why he weilds so much power.

https://youtube.com/shorts/fV-csopXZPs?si=XsE16LNZrNXQHyFJ

Before you continue to YouTube

https://youtube.com/shorts/fV-csopXZPs?si=XsE16LNZrNXQHyFJ

Noooodlin · 12/08/2025 18:25

BluntCoralWren · 12/08/2025 15:18

The poor just get on with surviving, the rich are cushioned but the middle class moan endlessly about everything from schools to holidays. AIBU?

Are you poor?

WowIlikereallyhateyou · 12/08/2025 18:22

Straightjacketsandroses · 12/08/2025 17:03

It is because we fund a vast welfare state and get nothing in return. All this talk of potentially having to pay for GP appointments etc on a means tested basis proves that; I will pay into a service through tax which I will then pay again for at point of contact. Meanwhile, people paying nothing in will continue getting services for free. That is why the middle classes - particularly the higher earners - moan more.

Correct

Chompingatthebeat · 12/08/2025 18:19

BluntCoralWren · 12/08/2025 15:18

The poor just get on with surviving, the rich are cushioned but the middle class moan endlessly about everything from schools to holidays. AIBU?

Is that a complaint?

smugmugg · 12/08/2025 17:56

the middle class are shrinking and are joining the poor hence the complaining

JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn · 12/08/2025 17:50

Being the squeezed middle is no fun. Earn too much to be eligible for any benefits. Don’t earn enough to have a decent standard of living.

Maverickess · 12/08/2025 17:45

pamelanoon · 12/08/2025 17:02

If you don't see how the word "class" is offensive, I don't know how to help you

What do you think I need help with? I'm not sure why you'd concern yourself with that when clearly from your posts you hold anyone who's thoughts don't align with yours in contempt, and as mine clearly don't I obviously fall into that category, group or 'class' 🤷🏼‍♀️.

From your tone you sound like you just want an argument tbh.

pamelanoon · 12/08/2025 17:31

No one has answered this.

To the people that believe in class, what makes someone "middle class"

frozendaisy · 12/08/2025 17:30

Moaning is classless @BluntCoralWren

Lament7189 · 12/08/2025 17:30

The main reason is because there’s a group of people who feel they’re taken advantage of who often have options.

If you’re a lower earner you have no option other than to carry on.

If you’re wealthy you can just carry on doing what you want.

If you’re a net contributor (need to earn 70k for that) but not wealthy you feel abused by the system especially if you earn 100k+ as you pay in plenty and get very little back.

People in this group are angry and considering options such as working less. As they have options they voice their concerns. If you have no options then what’s the point.

pamelanoon · 12/08/2025 17:29

hairbearbunches · 12/08/2025 17:27

And no-one I know in real life in England EVER uses the words 'pray tell'. It generally marks one out as a condescending middle class know all. So there you go!

Exactly.

I was using the term "pray tell" sarcastically, to mildly mock the people who think that they are middle class on here.

The sarcasm went over your head.

hairbearbunches · 12/08/2025 17:27

pamelanoon · 12/08/2025 17:20

How exactly does it run on the class system, pray tell.

No one that I know in real life in England, ever uses the word class.

And no-one I know in real life in England EVER uses the words 'pray tell'. It generally marks one out as a condescending middle class know all. So there you go!

pamelanoon · 12/08/2025 17:27

I can't believe that some people still talk about class in 2025.

I have never heard the word class being used outside of England.

England really needs to move forward and get out of the dark ages.

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