Visiting children jumping on arms / back of my sofas

When my children were younger I had 3 rules for them when visiting someone else's house. 1. Say please and thankyou 2. Always flush the toilet 3. Don't rearrange their furniture. Honestly, there's nothing more annoying when a child visits and decides to throw all your cushions onto the floor. They're 15 and 17 and I still remind them just in case. They usually look at me as if I'm mad.

Your house, your rules. You should have taken the ball off the second lot.

👏👏👏

It is NOT something anyone should have to ask for. It is absolutely standard, normal and good manners for children NOT to climb and jump on other people's furniture and it doesn't matter what goes on at their own home. If your kids can't behave well in other people's houses, or won't, don't take them - and never expect people to have to ask for basic good manners.

At bare minimum, parents must TRY to teach their children respect for other people's homes and property and be seen to be trying. No need for any oh buts or what ifs.

Many people are too well mannered or non confrontational themselves to want to say anything and will tolerate disrespectful, lazy parenting rather than possibly cause a scene, until it becomes unbearable.

And, of course, when a lazy, ill mannered parent allows their children to behave badly there is the underlying fact that they already do know that their kids are misbehaving and are choosing to ignore it, which also makes it awkward for the person trying to decide to say anything. Since the other parent already does know their children are misbehaving the person on the receiving end has to factor in whether they want to deal with that level of lazy, entitled parenting and excuse making - or just say nothing.

The mum shouldn't have needed to ask you to stop your children jumping on her sofa.

Being polite and respectful of others and their things would have meant you not assuming that it was okay for that sort of behaviour in someone else's home.

If you had good manners, you should have immediately stopped your children and not have someone else ask you to do it.

Children jumping on sofas are as old as sofas. Mum not telling them to stop, no. Uptight people who don't know anything about children, also an oldie.

Paddington hard stare and a “we don’t do that here”.
(Addressed to mum, clearly where they’ve learned their manners.)

Just tell them to stop!

Id have had told them all to get the hell out of my house after 5 minutes.

you clearly have NO respect for anyone else or their property! Seriously do you think that just because something isn’t brand new it’s old and shit and can be jumped all over and damaged?!?😳😳🙄 My sofa is getting on but is well loved and very comfy and no one is allowed to jump or run on it or treat it like shit and it will last a lot more years because of this! If I had anyone in my house who allowed their children to treat it like
shit they would be leaving with a foot up their arse!

you’re bringing up your children to to be rude and entitled and this will affect their long term friendships and relationships - and it’ll be your fault as a shit parent!

Who are they to you? Good friends? Family?
Do they not know your house or what you expect?
What are things like at their house?

I would’ve told them not to. The point is that for us jumping on sofas was fine but it wasn’t for the other person, they rightly told me and it was sorted. You need to speak up - not everyone has the same rules.

Do you have to meet these people at yours? Could you meet at a park or on a walk? It’s the middle of the summer hols for many and some children have gone a bit wilder than usual.

Flipping rude people everywhere it seems. I had someone bring his kids when doing a quote recently. They were about 8 and 10. Started kicking a ball around my garden by all my windows and pot plants, when I was discussing potential job. I was not happy at all. I didn't hire him.

Your house, up to you to set the rules and enforce them.

Well you say no one was offended but the mum obviously was or she wouldn’t have asked you to ask them to stop.

And you don’t know who else you offended who didn’t say anything but silently took it.

My eldest is 7 and the throwing himself around furniture is our biggest battle, he just forgets and he's massively tall but ND so a bit delayed on impulse control. I am constantly stopping him jumping or climbing on our furniture but at someone else's house he's generally much more aware of different rules in different people's houses so it's easier to get him to stop. No way I'd just sit and let him but I couldn't guarantee he wouldn't try. He takes his shoes off as soon as he comes indoors which helps a tiny bit but I will grab and restrain if needed (much less these days but under 5 he was like an excited bunny)

Hey! Get off the sofa! To the kids running on the back of the sofa.

Balls are outdoors only.

We don't wear shoes in the house so she and kids would be asked to leave them in the entryway. Ewewew.

It sounds like she and her kids are someone you should be meeting in the park. If these kids are 10 and 12, they're going to be doing damage on your home.

Your house your rules

This is a no shoes house and here are some socks for your sweaty feet

Kids get off my bloody sofa you entitled spoilt brats no climbing on the furniture please in this house thanks

You say to the mum "oh Sandra, do you mind taking your shoes off please?"

You say to the kids "If you want to run around like monkeys go in the garden. If you want to stay inside, sit down and behave like humans" And if they don't stop "Right! Outside NOW"

Well I would expect most mothers to tell their children not to do this in no uncertain terms!
However, as PPs have said, the apple clearly has not fallen far from the tree.
As the hostess all you can do is make it clear that this is not acceptable in your home or maybe try a diversionary tactic - “If you want to play ball why don’t you go in the garden?” “Come and see (something interesting)!” “I’ve got a game here - shall we play?”

My children climbed over our sofas as they were old and shit. They did it in someone else’s house as it was normal to them. The mum asked me to ask them not to which I promptly did, explaining there are different rules in different houses.

It was no big deal, no one was offended or upset. It doesn’t have to be a drama.

You need to say something . The parents have probably given up. But no it isnt normal.

Looking at the ages my 11 year old hasn’t tried to do it since about 8/9. My eldest didn’t even try when they were younger.