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AIBU?

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Old men sitting next to me

164 replies

pamelanoon · 12/08/2025 13:22

Does this happen to anyone else.

There is a little cafe near where i work. I go and have my lunch there. I sit at a small table with two chairs.

Two times, old men have come in by themselves and asked can they sit at my table. There are loads of free tables, so there is no need to sit at mine.

When I said no to the first man, he was really rude and called me a typical selfish female.

I then said to the restaurant staff that he was abusing me and they said "oh but he is very old".

He grumbled and went off to sit by himself.

The next time I went in, a different old man came in and asked if he could sit at my table.

The chairs are a bit more comfy at the table i was at, so I thought that he wanted the comfy chair.

I said to him "yes you can sit here, i will move to another table".

I moved to another table, he went to the counter, came back, and came over to me at the new table and asked could he sit with me at this second table! I said no you can sit over there, and he shuffled off angrily.

Right they are probably lonely, but i want to enjoy my lunch, i don't want to be sitting talking to an old man i dont know all through lunch!

What would you do?

OP posts:
Iloveyoubut · 12/08/2025 13:56

pamelanoon · 12/08/2025 13:32

It annoys me, i just want to eat my lunch without being harassed by old men!

And the restaurant staff treat them quite nicely because they are so old. After one of the old men insulted me , i complained to the restaurant staff. They did tell him that he couldnt sit with me. But their attitude when they were talking to me was "ah but he is old and doddery"

All I would questionhere is your need to keep saying ‘old men’ I’m not sure why their age is relevant. You seem to enjoy using the phrase. I personally wouldn’t want to be hassled whilst eating alone by anyone.

InterestedDad37 · 12/08/2025 13:53

Weird behaviour from them 🤔

Tillow4ever · 12/08/2025 13:49

Personally I wouldn’t go back to that cafe after they refused to do something about one of their customers being verbally abused by another customer!

pamelanoon · 12/08/2025 13:46

I wouldn't let a woman sit at my table either, if there are other free tables.

No woman has done this to me.

It has only been men who have done this to me

OP posts:
pamelanoon · 12/08/2025 13:45

hmmimnotsurewhy · 12/08/2025 13:44

@softlyfallsthesnowso you think women can do it but not men? Why? Typical!

What? She didn't write that.

OP posts:
hmmimnotsurewhy · 12/08/2025 13:44

@softlyfallsthesnowso you think women can do it but not men? Why? Typical!

LoveWine123 · 12/08/2025 13:40

In my experience elderly people who want a but of company just move on politely when you say no (and sometimes I say yes depending on the situation). Entitled assholes just hurl abuse. YANBU

softlyfallsthesnow · 12/08/2025 13:40

hmmimnotsurewhy · 12/08/2025 13:32

I get this with old annoying women.

Hope you never become an old annoying woman.

pamelanoon · 12/08/2025 13:39

squashyhat · 12/08/2025 13:38

Unless there was absolutely nowhere else to sit I wouldn't let anyone share a table with me, regardless of age or sex.

Exactly.

I want the table for myself.

And there were loads of free tables when he came in.

OP posts:
squashyhat · 12/08/2025 13:38

Unless there was absolutely nowhere else to sit I wouldn't let anyone share a table with me, regardless of age or sex.

hmmimnotsurewhy · 12/08/2025 13:32

I get this with old annoying women.

pamelanoon · 12/08/2025 13:32

It annoys me, i just want to eat my lunch without being harassed by old men!

And the restaurant staff treat them quite nicely because they are so old. After one of the old men insulted me , i complained to the restaurant staff. They did tell him that he couldnt sit with me. But their attitude when they were talking to me was "ah but he is old and doddery"

OP posts:
FOJN · 12/08/2025 13:26

Good for you for saying no. They're pissed off because women are realising that indulging every request from a man only encourages them to make even more unreasonable demands on our time and energy.

LadyDanburysHat · 12/08/2025 13:23

YANBU. Why do some men think it's their right to have a woman entertain them.

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