Old men sitting next to me

But in your case, there were no tables free. I assume that if there had been, you would have sat there instead of the cafe owner asking the man sitting alone if you could sit at his table.

I would always be wary if a man sat next to me, whether in a cafe or on public transport if there are other tables/seats free where they don't need to sit next to a woman on her own.

I bet if there was a man sitting on his own at a table with lots of other tables free, these old men wouldn't go and ask to sit at their table. It's still intimidating and inappropriate, even if these men are elderly.

I was thinking of the embarrassment of standing at the hospital reception with a white English husband making such remarks to LimebasilandManderin. Don't you think that would be really cringe?

I’d hate this too because I get very little down time and when I have a quiet break somewhere I don’t want to be entertaining anyone else, I’d also say no because there are other tables free and I need some peace and quiet!

Neither is my DH. He isnt white or English. That hasnt stopped old white men trying to hit on me with depressing regularity when I have made it clear it's not wanted. These are strangers btw, not people I know. Male strangers who seem to think any woman 20 years younger than them would be delighted that they are trying to make conversation with them. Its gross.

Its honestly disgusting.

Oh well I escape that then as DH is neither white nor English.

Those of you jumping to the defence of the poor “old men”, I have found that it is the 60+ that tend to be the most inappropriate. I often worked in a hospital clinic setting and we had a form that patients had to fill out on arrival, one of the questions was sex, obviously asking male, female etc. The amount of times men would read it and say “sex, oh yes please hahaha!” or words to that effect. It was a regular occurrence met with a snatch of the form and a disgusted look from me. Worse still they were often with their wives. Strangely it always white English too? 🤔

60s is a bit young for it but I think advanced old age can make some people disinhibited. I'm thinking of my oh so puritanical aunt who went into a home in her 80s and was most inappropriate she'd say to the young male carers. She could be awkward and obstinate so they would send the young males in to "charm" her. I said to the manager one day that I wondered if they pimped out young women in the same way. She didn't reply but it was truly uncomfortable watching.

I think that the older men are, the more emboldened they feel as they’ve got through decades of being away with this stuff. About 10 years ago, in my late 40s, I was walking down a busy street and a man in his 60s said “nice tits”. It was clearly the sort of thing he did all the time, no reason why he would suddenly say it to a middle aged woman. I initially walked past, shocked, but then turned back and loudly challenged him. He was shocked to be challenged and became abusive and I’m not proud to say that I was much more abusive in response and threatened to go and fetch a male friend to knock him out.

Never saw him again and hopefully that made him think twice before doing it again,

I was looking at something to watch on Netflix last night and ended up with The Equaliser as I like Denzel Washington. It made me think of this thread. So ok Denzel isn't that old but he probably was to Alina. So old man and young woman in otherwise empty cafe and end up sharing a table, ok she joined him but anyway he not only rescues her from the Russian mafia but wiped out a huge powerful mafia family. If only all old men were Denzel, well for me anyway as I'd love to share a coffee with him but maybe doesn't count as we are quite close in age.

Her first question was does this happen to anyone else. Why ask a question if you don't want answers?

That's not the same. She asked if it happened to anyone else. There two main answers to that, yes of no, but also some variations like I can't remember or I don't go to cafes alone. It seems she only wanted an echo chamber where everyone yes. Not how MN works.

With the dog example it would be like saying neighbours dog keeps barking does anyone else have this.

Your example works with her second question but not the first.

Has anyone else reading had this experience?
I've been eating alone at tables for about 50 years and never, ever has anyone male or female asked to share a table with me when there were spaces elsewhere.

Same. I want to be left alone in peace. I am usually trying to read, or I do cross stitch. Both times, I will be wearing Loops earplugs.
I don't go out to talk to people be or be talked at.

In some areas, there are chatty benches. They have a sign on saying if you are lonely then someone will be along to talk to you. Nice sentiment but who are the people watching them?

This is MN. It happens all the time 😂

OP makes a thread asking for ideas on how to use up left over beef for lunches the next day.
Someone will comment with "I don't eat beef. I am vegan".

Exactly. Completely pointless.

Nothing annoys me more than when someone tries to constantly talk to me, sit near me when plenty of other seats available etc. and then when you complain there are people like 'aww they're just lonely, I speak to strangers all the time and have had amazing conversations, great to meet people from all walks of life'

I've asked it once and I'll ask it again - why do the needs of the chatty outweigh the needs of those who just want to sit quietly and alone!? If someone is genuinely lonely and wants to chat then fine, by all means ask but at least accept that a lot of us will say no because that's just not our vibe!

She probably didn't like it, because its a pointless contribution, isn't it? The OP asked had it happened to anyone else to ask what women do in the situation.
Would you go on to a thread asking what people would do about a neighbours dog barking all day to announce "My neighbour hasn't got a dog"?

Wtaf - why do these men think they can impose themselves on lone women like this?! They never ask blokes these things, do they?

YANBU. This is nothing to do with age. It's some entitled blokes thinking you owe them your company.

Doubtless you were meant to listen to them regaling you with some or other shite. These guys would have had exactly the same traits when they were younger.

You didn't like people saying it hadn't happened to them, but you know that dont you.

Did anyone say it couldn't have happened?

I hear you, OP. Getting up and sitting elsewhere is a good strategy. You shouldn't have to move, but they are dicks, what can you do?

The worst one I had was on the Paris metro. Old guy rubbing my knee while I was sat next to DH!