Wedding no show. Was I unreasonable to block her?

Unblock and see if anything else happens and call the police on the husband harassing phone calls.

@Nowtinit

Congratulations on your wedding. I hope you had a lovely day and I hope this issue with your friend doesn't spoil your memories.

I have read all the replies and yes you could just block and delete. You would be well within your rights to do so, especially considering the cost of weddings and all the planning and co-ordination etc.

However I just wanted to mention that your friend might not be in the best place at the moment. I am not minimising how upsetting it was for you and your new DH to have 4 whole no shows, just maybe trying to give a different angle in some way.

It was interesting for me that it was her husband who called you / left you the voicemail with the weirdness and the taunting and laughing.

If it is in any way like my now ended marriage (thank goodness!), my ex had consistent and purposeful saboteur behaviours that ended up making me look like a completely flaky, feckless, manner less idiot to friends who didn't know the reality of my abusive marriage. I am not making excuses. I am just sharing this with you in 100% truthfulness. I am so so so embarrassed about how many times I was unable to attend events or fulfill commitments that were actually really important to me because he would just be such an obstructive, selfish a**hole the whole time and I was so worn down I didn't always have the strength or the money to just take the kids out on my own.

I am only sharing this not to justify the behaviour, not at all, but just to say that sometimes when you are living with a d*ckhead it's really hard to manage.

If she is previously a good friend maybe reach out to her directly in a little while.

P.S. - I used to also post loads on social media. I was absolutely miserable at the time. I think I was just trying to make my life feel a little less sh*t than it was.

Hopefully there is an explanation that can be worked on in future. I am sorry for the no shows though. Galling.

She's probably always had that side to her character but kept it well hidden. Some people are jekyll and Hyde types. My mum is like that. She has a sweet, charming public face that the outside world sees but has another side too.

Blocking is quite an extreme thing to do and took away her ability to explain or apologise. She may well have been really hurt and frustrated by that, leading to the silly calls.

I think not showing up for a wedding with no explanation before or afterwards is pretty extreme on the rudeness scale.

Another one who’s not really sure why people are so keen to make excuses for your friend behaving abominably. I can’t really think of that many scenarios where “posting constant updates on SM but not able to send a text calling off” is ok.
I would send a message to her husband, saying you had a missed call, and then leave it.

I guess you did it out of hurt OP and it’s a kind of self-protection thing. It’s certainly a mystery and I hope you get an explanation and a sincere apology one day,

You've no idea what's happening in her life. I'd have telephoned her a week or so after the wedding to check that she was ok. As you say, it was out of character, so it is possible things are not going too well.

My guess is she didn't feel like going fo the wedding and felt too awkward to let you know as she had already cancelled attending the hen.

Unfortunately instead of being mature about it all it seems she decided to get silly over some drinks with friends.

She's not worth it.

What an absolute cow! She knows she’s in the wrong and behaving like a child. I would have had to have had it out with her though. You paid for four wasted meals for one thing - just unforgivably rude imo. If you are not going to bother asking for an explanation (ie an apology), then block and move on, she is no friend and has shown as much.

Post those beautiful wedding pics, EVERYWHERE, thanking everyone for coming and stating how lucky you were to have everyone you cared about in attendance

Yes! post a lovely pic from the wedding/evening and caption it "I am so lucky that everyone I truly care about was there to share my day with me"

Fuck her.

drink or drugs ......

What has happened here is that your "friend" has agreed to the hen and wedding without thinking it through and at the end of the day she couldn't be arsed to make the effort to go.

She's thoughtless and selfish and is too coward to tell you upfront that she doesn't want to go to your hen or wedding (or its too much of a faff for her) and she just kicked it into the long grass. She's not a friend so don't spend any more time thinking about it. You have a new married life and lots of nice things going on, just cut this boil out of your life. Just let it go.

I had a couple not turn up to my wedding. It was someone I was really close to at work. My numbers were really restricted but I wanted to invite her to the day. She never showed up. It cost me a lot of money, and the 2 empty seats were obvious. When I got back to work she told me her DH just didn't want to go. She didn't really care that much, and I let the friendship slide. She didn't see that actually I was restricted on numbers, and it cost me money. She was thoughtless.

You are in your 40's now. Don't waste precious time on people who are selfish and horrible.

Because women are all meant to #BeKind even in the face of being treated like crap these days.

Because women are all meant to #BeKind even in the face of being treated like crap these days.

She’s awful! How much money did she cost you in the end for missed hen and missed wedding??

This is a LOT of deflection. She knows she acted like an arsehole and now she needs to put that on you.

I'd love to hear the tale she's telling people for you to come out of this as a 'bitch'!

As they say, the best revenge is a life well led.

Post those beautiful wedding pics, EVERYWHERE, thanking everyone for coming and stating how lucky you were to have everyone you cared about in attendance.

Then the honeymoon pics. Then share the pics posted by friends and family.

Milk it then move on and leave her behind, and do not mentally attach her no-show as a negative memory to your big day.

She probably has a really skewed perspective where she thinks you're the unreasonable one for blocking someone because they didn't turn up to your wedding. I'd just keep them all blocked and move on.

There is not a chance in hell I wouldn’t tell somebody I wasn’t coming to their wedding. What a rude bitch. Is there a possibility she was jealous? Otherwise she’s a despicable, rude cunt and I’d have blocked her too.

I wonder was it a friend in the group that made the bitch voicemail and that she used the husband's phone to let you know.

If that's the case then,

A: This woman has been bitching to her friends about the OP, since they don't share any mutual ones.

B: She phoned to let the OP know but didn't leave any voicemail or text to explain when she got no reply.

Nope - she was dicking about in a park/national trust place and baking cakes.

Sounds like they were all egging each other on to call you with withheld numbers and say nasty things.

It's good you didn't message the husband, they would twist it into you not being to let go.

Block and delete them all and good riddance to bad rubbish.

I’d leave it. It’s still clearly playing on her mind to leave the messages. But what a weirdo. You know you have done nothing wrong and were being kind to invite her. It’s her that looks a fucking oddball now.

I am gobsmacked by people calling you childish OP for blocking your friend when she was calling you multiple times at 1am in the morning and literally calling you a bitch! Seriously?- do you think that sounds like gown up adult behaviour??

I think you are well rid of this vile person. If she was well enough to post instagram photos of national trusts visits and cake baking then she was certainly well enough to politely decline attendance at your wedding.

She is a rude, insufferable cunt and you're better off without someone like this in your life. Even if she was upset with you, she could have used her words and spoken to you like a grown up instead of engaging in childish teenage phone pranks. Pathetic.

Maybe she had every intention of coming but it was just a bit too much organising or whatever, then she was too embarrassed to call you on the day? Whatever reason there was, she was 100% in the wrong and like others have said, its easier to pretend that you're a dick than accept that she is...and her new friends and husband, by the sound of it. It's easier said than done, but I'd suggest giving yourself a pat on the back for trying to maintain a friendship, being kind and generous, and be glad that you're no longer ftiends with someone who acts like a silly, mean 12 year old leaving pathetic voicemails
Xx

I would message her husband to ask if everything is ok as you missed a call from him last night.

If to don’t then it will stay unresolved and may rear up again later.