Wedding no show. Was I unreasonable to block her?

😂 I am now just waiting for "maybe she has early onset dementia so #bekind"

The main point of the op's post was that this behaviour was out of character. Men get blamed because they are often the problem.

Sorry! Was just being tongue in cheek. I forgot that these are serious matters.

Oh give over.

Life goes on.

Perhaps she had just been given the diagnosis.

Whilst walking around a park and baking?

Then how was she posting on social media the day of the wedding and the day afterwards if she was "seriously ill"?

I would have been absolutely fuming at her behaviour in not turning up, far angrier even than you seem to be. The cancelling of the hen do for a nephew's birthday might have been a forewarning of her lack of commitment though. I wouldn't have blocked her but certainly would be finished with her forever.

Seriously ill but well enough to post on social media wandering around NT property on the day of the wedding?

Come on. She’s taken the piss and isn’t a good friend.

Yeah, she could be seriously ill or something.

I honestly can't imagine not showing up to someone's wedding, then trying to blame them for it. My OCD brain just does not compute!

Don’t get me wrong, she has behaved appallingly and you are owed a massive, grovelling apology - for both the no show, and for not letting you know as soon as humanly possible. I didn’t mean to diminish that at all.

I just think if a long term friend of mine has missed a major life event of mine and then gone silent on me, I would be genuinely concerned as well as pissed off, and given her a chance to respond.

Or she's just rude. We had four no shows to our wedding, one friend who would have been part of a large group of people she knew (and never any signs of social anxiety) plus three relatives of DH who came to the church but did not think to tell us that they weren't coming to the reception. Bloody rude. We had people we couldn't invite as we'd reached capacity at the venue and were charged for their meals. I've made absolutely no effort with them since.

I agree

You have done nothing wrong but I knew there would be dickheads here trying to blame you for your lack of concern.

She had every chance to explain herself.

My friend stopped talking to me twenty years ago for not attending her wedding. My mother was vomiting blood that morning and the wedding was on the other side of the country. There was nobody else to help. I told our mutual friend left a voicemail for the bride on the day and apologised again she returned from honeymoon via text and email. She never acknowledged. I had planned to send a gift but at some point I decided not to, I think I was smarting a bit.

They are horrible people.

No no no!! You can’t ignore this. I’ve got your back over this. Unblock the bitch and message her ‘what the fuck is the matter with you’… do it now!! 🤣

People lose their minds on MN falling over themselves to find "reasons" (more like excuses) for heinous behaviour.

Her not attending your wedding and not making contact at any point after was appalling behaviour. You'd expect your plumber to call you if he were so much as running an hour late to fix a leaking pipe. She couldn't even be bothered to make contact days after the event, no doubt because she knew she'd behaved appallingly and it's easier to ignore you than have a conversation where she knew she was so very in the wrong, would end up feeling guilty and generally shit, and might be asked to cough up some cash!

You were not at all unreasonable. Put her back out of your mind. There are shitty people everywhere. She's clearly one of them. She doesn't deserve your headspace.

What strange behaviour. I’m not surprised you want to understand what happened

Completely agree! It is so rude I would be pretty pissed off too.

One of my friends ghosted me in the run up to my wedding (she had already no showed a baby shower) with no explanation whatsoever. Very odd. Some people are just self-absorbed twats unfortunately.

Your friend messed up and is now feeling defensive. It’s reasonable to assume that the calls were all from the same people. I’m guessing it makes her feel better by trying to make out like you’re the bad guy. It’s not acceptable to just not turn up to a wedding with your family and not let the host know. Even if there is a family emergency on the day, you gave her enough grace to contact you in the days following your wedding and she didn’t bother. I can understand why you would block her. I’d be tempted to unblock but just move on with your life. Perhaps her marriage is going badly and she was jealous, it’s likely you’ll never know. This isn’t on you to make things right so to speak. I’m sorry you’ve been let down and treated poorly by someone you thought was a friend.

Some of my in laws failed to tell us they wouldn’t be there, meals, button holes all paid for and wasted.
Infuriating really.

Sounds like she was bitching on a drunken night out with friends about your message and subsequent blocking her and they thought it’d be funny to call you to give you a piece of their mind.

Your so called friend is rude. I doubt she ever made any booking for your wedding - the flakey hen night cancellation suggests that.

People are horrible sometimes and take no accountability for their behaviour.

And maybe she is just a horrid woman. They do exist.

Or shall we continue to blame the man. (with no evidence at all).