Household chores vs personal responsibilities?

You've got adults in your house. They're definitely responsible for doing their own washing, cleaning their rooms. Household chores are divided up.

Laundry - if it’s not in the basket it doesn’t get washed, I am not going round the house picking up things or emptying festering sports bags.

Cooking - I will cook, I will try to accommodate known preferences, but if you don’t want what I am planning you can sort yourself out.

Bedding - you change your own bed, I will wash it if in laundry basket.

Clean clothes - I will fold it, if you want it ironing it’s up to you, I will deliver it to your room but what you do with it then is up to you.

I am not a taxi - I will give you a lift but only if you let me know in advance and it fits in with my schedule.

Whatever your rules are, be clear & stick to them.

Your house your rules, in my house the rule is that any laundry goes in the washing baskets in their room and then I collect it when I'm doing the laundry.
My one friend has everyone do their own laundry and I have another friend that collects it from wherever it's thrown.
I don't think there's any hard and fast rule it's whatever works for you and your family

I do mine & my two DC washing. DP does his own because he is capable and I will not be taken for granted like he was doing a while back.

Just to use laundry as an example. I do the laundry , everyone else (OH and DD - and this rules has been as such since she was able to take her own clothes off) has to put their stuff in the wash basket if they want it done. If it’s not in the wash basket it doesn’t get done, and definitely not to some timetable that only exists in their head.I’ll also fold it (90%of the time ) and put it in piles. Their responsibility to put it away. If it doesn’t get done/done properly that’s their problem.

Don’t come to me asking me “where’s my purple tshirt with green spots that I absolutely must have right now?”.

Since about 12/13 my kids are responsible for their own rooms, keeping it tidy (but I don’t really police it) changing their sheets etc. Laundry must be put in the basket, but my son has always wanted to do his own since he was 14 (he irons too).
My son now lives on his own and my DD is uni age, now home for the summer. She is perfectly capable of ‘adulting’ when away but at home I do the laundry but she’s still responsible for her room and her en suite - I very rarely go up there. Thats what I consider personal stuff.
For general household my son always did more than my DD. When he comes to visit now he’s happy to mow the lawn, deal with the rubbish, do some vacuuming, walk the dog, clean the patio and do some weeding - he likes to be occupied! . My DD doesn’t do any of that, though she does cook dinner a few nights a week and very occasionally will clean the kitchen.

This is the only answer.

Sorry, but in that scenario where they sought to avoid their own personal responsibility by off loading it on to me, it would, right there and then, become their own damned job to make sure they have clean clothes, because there would be no bloody way I would be so kind as to trouble myself to do their laundry anytime soon.

Your house, your rules.

If you depict that the washing ISNT DONE unless its brought to the utility room, then it isnt done unless its brought to the utility room. Dont argue, don't justify, don't explain.

If they get annoyed their washing isnt done, they can always do it themselves, or take it for a service wash. Or they can bring it to thw utility room...