AIBU to think DP hijacked my holiday

Obvious the situation is dysfunctional but from his point of view it was a holiday more that a trip to meet your family. That would just be incidental to him. You can’t be upset about that.

Focus on the obsession with his ds to the exclusion of everything else.

Are his children brothers or seperate mothers. It sounds like he was doing this for a Facebook show and tell to wind up the sons mother.

He also sounds like a prick

The stuff going on with his DC and you are just concerned about being left out by your DP. You sound self-centred. Holidays do tend to be about the children as a parent. You don't seem bothered about any of the DC and your partner is only interested in one. I really feel for the children in this situation. No sympathy for you whatsoever.

It’s a shame your holiday was a disappointment after you’d looked forward to it so much. Were you at least able to enjoy some time with your relatives who live there?

A lot of teenagers are moody. It’s not a choice, it’s part of their development.That doesn’t excuse him beating up his younger brother but as his father makes it so obvious that he prefers his younger son, I can see why the teenager is resentful. Your partner is being cruel to his older son, imo, and not doing his younger son any favours by making him the favourite. He may well develop quite an inflated ego from being shown he is the best. And sadly, your partner has probably ruined whatever relationship the brothers might have had.

Doesn’t the imbalance bother you? I really wouldn’t want to be involved with someone like that.

Neglected on your holiday!!!! Oh my god. You were there to meet your family??

And that’s why the moody teen beats up the younger brother…

You should have pulled him up on both the treatment of the teen and yourself from the very beginning.

This relationship wouldn’t have legs for me as I wouldn’t have allowed it to continue in the first place, and if it did then the relationship would be over.

This is such weird behaviour. Your DP seems utterly obsessed with his son and it’s so weird.

I love my child - as does their father - but if my partner behaved that way towards my son it would make me extremely uncomfortable. It isn’t even about being left out. It’s the obsession.

I think people really find out about their partner when they holiday together. You are seeing some massive red flags. I’m actually concerned for this child. It’s not healthy behaviour.

He sounds like a terrible boyfriend and a worse father.

Separate from the complete bin fire of a set up.

You have a SC that assaults the other one and your concern is where you sit on the plane and selfies? There are problems there OP and I don't think you're focusing on the right ones.

To be completely honest it's a bit annoying but I don't think its really the worst thing in the world. I have 2 children. Ones a teenager and the other is about 10. My 10 year old naturally wants to spend more time with me so it's not really a case of me leaving the eldest out when while a wonderful pleasant loving boy, he's not quite as needy.

I can't imagine how much I'd over compensate if I only generally saw him at weekends and got to spend an extended time with him on a trip.

I think it's perfectly normal that he sat with him on a plane. A lot of children that age would want to sit with an adult when flying.

I think the crux is you both had different expectations of this holiday. Obviously a big part of it was meeting your family but it was also important for him to spend time with his son.

Obviously the pictures and the book sound like over kill but there must be a lot of pain to be separated from your child the majority of the time.

To be completely honest it's a bit annoying but I don't think its really the worst thing in the world. I have 2 children. Ones a teenager and the other is about 10. My 10 year old naturally wants to spend more time with me so it's not really a case of me leaving the eldest out when while a wonderful pleasant loving boy, he's not quite as needy.

I can't imagine how much I'd over compensate if I only generally saw him at weekends and got to spend an extended time with him on a trip.

I think it's perfectly normal that he sat with him on a plane. A lot of children that age would want to sit with an adult when flying.

I think the crux is you both had different expectations of this holiday. Obviously a big part of it was meeting your family but it was also important for him to spend time with his son.

Obviously the pictures and the book sound like over kill but there must be a lot of pain to be separated from your child the majority of the time.

Express your disappointment over being neglected then let it go. Don't burst his happy bubble with jealousy. He behaved poosly; hopefully it is a one off.
Something needs to be done about the moody teen. Is there a lot to love about this man?
Only eight more years to go and yiou will be childless.

Plan your next holiday with just the two of you.

If moody teen doesn't get on with 10 year old and beats up 10 year old then of course they couldn't sit on plane together and dh needs to supervise more closely.

The photos of one child seem a bit ott but presumably he was excited to spend time with his 10 year old and teen wasn't willing to participate. Bit odd not to have any shots of the rest of the group though.

I would bring this relationship to a close PDQ.

He sounds awful and is actively damaging his kids. I would not want to stick around to see the outcome of that shitshow.

I would dump this horrible person. Who treats their children like this: favouring one grossly while ignoring the other constantly? Who wants to be with someone who acts like this?

I would also raise your concerns with their respective schools as a safeguarding concern (neglect) re the older one.

Again, how is it that you’re writing the things that you’re writing and your main issue is that it was embarrassing for me being completely neglected by DP while on holiday?

the moody teen beats up the 10 year old any chance he gets which is why DP tries to keep them apart.

What the actual fuck am I reading? What is with all these threads today?!

Imo if your parenting isn't similar it won't ever work. Disney df's make me queasy... The poor teen tbh. Time to call it a day op.

Good grief.

This sounds very unhealthy for everyone involved.

Why are you even with him?

So quite possibly moody teen didn't want to go and probably didn't want any pics either. Was it Dad and younger child's first big holiday together? It does sound a bit OTT with the amount he took but I would expect him to prioritise spending time with the children

Why are you with him?! He’s an appalling father and your perspective is way off.

His dynamic with his kids is so messed up and so harmful to both children I’d have to walk away. I would want no part of that.

And you’re right, he also treated you badly. Time to end it

Tbh you sound a bit spoiled.

I'd feel for the older boy, but your update explains that and he probably doesn't want so much of his dad's attention anyway (although might benefit from it!), but being "negected" on a holiday with 4 children that was all about seeing your family?

Weren't you doing things with your DC and their relatives?