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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that if a school early morning club says 7:45 start, that 7:50 is not acceptable?

133 replies

orangesandlemonssaythebellsofstclements · 12/08/2025 09:50

I desperately need a job. I mean, I really really need to take what I can.

I have found one that's perfect for me, which is great, because I've been applying for any old crap tbh, so I'm excited to see something that I actually want to do and can do.

I can't drive, I'm not going into it, but learning to drive isn't an option for me.
This is fine because before I apply for any job I check that public transport routes work for me.

The job I want starts at 9am, but it's in the next town over. There is a bus that stops directly opposite my DD's school that will get me to work for 8:40, so even leaves time if the bus is late.
However, because it's in the next town over, this is the ONLY bus available to get to work as there is only one an hour (back-up plan on rare days bus is cancelled is a taxi but this can't be a regular long term plan due to cost)

This bus leaves at 7:52. Early morning club at my daughter's school starts at 7:45.

I have, on a few sporadic occasions, used this early morning club, and my experience has been that the lady who runs it will often amble casually over to the gates at 7:48, 7:50 or even something like 7:53 and start letting children in.

I absolutely need to be saying goodbye to my daughter and walking away at 7:45 (and yes, I am paying from 7:45) so that I've got enough time to cross the road and get the bus, and allow for the bus to show up a couple of minutes early.

Is it unreasonable to say to the school that I absolutely need to drop her off when it's supposed to open at 7:45 and I can't wait any longer?

The unreliability is making me question whether or not it's worth applying for the job as I may not be able to get there, nor handle the frustration of seeing my bus drive past while this woman gets her act together.

I'm just worried about coming across as petty because I don't think people that rely on public transport really appreciate how important being exactly on time is, and that two minutes does make a difference.

OP posts:
orangesandlemonssaythebellsofstclements · 12/08/2025 12:43

HenDont · 12/08/2025 12:16

As part of your travel plans, you might want to check the taxi situation, since it's your backup. In our area, you absolutely cannot get a last-minute taxi during the school run. I hope everything works out!

Our taxis are good. There's three different companies, two have school run contracts, one doesn't as it's the more expensive one, so I'd be fine calling them, especially as it would be around 8am so just before the school really goes mad, and would give me an hour to get in.
It's a very expensive back-up (probably cost me £20+ to get to work) but it's an emergency back up

OP posts:
coxesorangepippin · 12/08/2025 12:43

Well I'd definitely apply for the job

And then look into childminding options

Frogs88 · 12/08/2025 12:42

I had this exact issue before with a nursery. I explained that I needed to leave exactly on time or I’d miss the only bus that would get me there on time. It improved but not reliably so. I’d suggest if you know any of the other parents that also are waiting with their children maybe explain the situation to them and ask if they’d be ok on days that it opens late to let your child wait with them.

NaughtyTortieOwner00 · 12/08/2025 12:41

Indeed but I wonder whether she is relying on public transport, as is OP?

Most people like OP and me who rely on public transport are much more likely to be early than consitently late - as your aware you have less control and build in 20-30 minutes fuck up/late time and you quickly realise most people don't take buses/trains being late as a reaonable excuse for more than a one off event.

Worst offender IME for being consistent and unapologetically late are nearby walkers - seem to be oh it's not far I'll walk fast/won't be that late mentality.

I don't think it would be unreasonable to raise this as an issue with the school - as you are paying for the time - and have back up plan of local child minder who could have child for short space of time in the morning if neccesary.

Comtesse · 12/08/2025 12:35

Apply for the job. If you’ve get it, there will be a solution. If you’ve don’t then the problem goes away. Give it a go - and good luck!

AgentJohnson · 12/08/2025 12:18

I hear you but the margins for error are too tight and will mean you will be in a continued state of stress, buses also come early.

HenDont · 12/08/2025 12:16

As part of your travel plans, you might want to check the taxi situation, since it's your backup. In our area, you absolutely cannot get a last-minute taxi during the school run. I hope everything works out!

TheNinkyNonkyIsATardis · 12/08/2025 12:13

Ugh, I had this at work once. I would be the first to arrive 95% of the time, would unlock and sort out alarms and everyone would walk in later.

But the boss hated that I got the 5.37 train, and would often ask for "one more thing" as I left at 5.30. The following trains were always significantly delayed and that "one more thing" made a 30m difference to me getting home.

She shouldn't just be there at 7.45 either - I'd bet that she needs to be there at 7.30.

SteakBakesAndHotTakes · 12/08/2025 12:11

Aparecium · 12/08/2025 11:02

That is an unacceptable, unprofessional attitude from the person running the club.

If your job starts at 7.45 then you are not walking in the door at 7.45, you are ready to start work at 7.45. Even if that means you walk in at 7.30 in order to put your coat away, go to the loo, make a cup of tea, have a good morning chat with colleagues as you pass them on your way to your workspace, open your windows, and whatever else you need to do to feel ready.

Same applies to the person running the club as to the parents of the children attending the club. Particularly as it is a club specifically set up to enable parents to work.

Agree - anyone working in customer service (retail etc) knows that if a service begins at 8am, that doesn't mean your shift starts at 8am! Your shift starts earlier so you can be ready to start right at 8.

BunniB · 12/08/2025 12:07

It’s the school’s management problem. They need to pay the woman running it to come in at 7.30 and open up, prepare and be at the door at 7.45am sharp.

Do you have a Parent Forum/representative who could raise the point?

Yes it should be functioning at 7.45am sharp but in reality you can’t make it happen so childminder is the way forward

BrickBiscuit · 12/08/2025 12:06

orangesandlemonssaythebellsofstclements · 12/08/2025 11:23

No, it's run by the school, the lady is definitely a school employee.

I would see nothing wrong with asking the school if a prompt 7.45 start is going to be possible so you can apply for this job with confidence. I agree with emphasising that your employment will depend on this. No need to wait until you get the job. The issue is affecting your employability now.

GameWheelsAlarm · 12/08/2025 12:03

@orangesandlemonssaythebellsofstclements it's electric scooters that are illegal to ride anywhere but private land unless via a hire service agreed with a local council that includes an insurance premium in the hire cost. Electric bikes are legal on the roads, with different restrictions that make the more powerful ones categorised as a motorbike that you need a licence to ride, but the least powerful ones can be legally ridden by anyone. (not that this is remotely relevant to your dilemma as I know you wouldn't want one anyway)

orangesandlemonssaythebellsofstclements · 12/08/2025 12:00

Ok -I'm going to apply now. Thank you so much for all advice

OP posts:
WellIquitelikesprouts · 12/08/2025 11:55

Maybe you could put a message on a school social media group (if there is one) asking if one or two parents could be ready to watch your child for 5 minutes if the club opens late. But it shouldn't! The doors should be open at the time stated.

orangesandlemonssaythebellsofstclements · 12/08/2025 11:53

OldGothsFadeToGrey · 12/08/2025 11:51

I’m able to cycle and hate this idea. Sounds bloody awful seeing as we are coming to the cold and wet part of the year.

It's also illegal to ride them anywhere but private land.

I know some areas like London have deals with the council or something, but there's nothing like that round here and local police have recently been saying all over social media that they are cracking down on their use.

OP posts:
OldGothsFadeToGrey · 12/08/2025 11:51

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 12/08/2025 10:24

If you're able to cycle an electric bike is also an option

I’m able to cycle and hate this idea. Sounds bloody awful seeing as we are coming to the cold and wet part of the year.

orangesandlemonssaythebellsofstclements · 12/08/2025 11:49

DBD1975 · 12/08/2025 11:44

Please don't do this no matter how sensible she is it just isn't worth the risk.

PP is right though, I could actually still see her from the bus stop, and the staff would also see me, I could wave to them! If they ask where mum is, she could be trained to say "at the bus stop!" from where I could wave back!

OP posts:
orangesandlemonssaythebellsofstclements · 12/08/2025 11:48

dammit88 · 12/08/2025 11:44

Could you cycle? Might be less stressful?

having said that YANBU the club should be open at 745. You might find there is still a queue to sign children in though!

I've considered it, and I do cycle now and then, it's not alien to me, but unfortunately it does involve a big, busy duel carriageway at rush hour and the truth is I am just not a confident enough cyclist to manage it

OP posts:
orangesandlemonssaythebellsofstclements · 12/08/2025 11:46

I'll be honest, I have a bit of a hang up about all this - when I was 18, I got sacked from one of my first jobs, within a month, for consistently being late due to late buses. It was 20 years ago, but I remember the boss saying to me sternly as I sat there crying "let this be a lesson to you - you're not a school girl any more, I missed the bus is not an acceptable excuse". She couldn't have made me feel any less of a silly school girl if she tried 😂
And I've never forgotten it 😂So now I make sure my travel plans are iron clad before I even bother. That's why I am trying to make a firm plan now before applying. That will never happen to me again 😂

OP posts:
dammit88 · 12/08/2025 11:44

Could you cycle? Might be less stressful?

having said that YANBU the club should be open at 745. You might find there is still a queue to sign children in though!

DBD1975 · 12/08/2025 11:44

orangesandlemonssaythebellsofstclements · 12/08/2025 10:07

She is a sensible 7 year old, just about to start year 3. I probably could leave her, just for a moment, although I wouldn't like it.
However, since a mum complained a few years ago about her 9yo being let out alone to wait for her when she was running late, and kicked up a huge fuss on social media about it, the school have tightened up on their policies and doesn't admit or release unaccompanied children before year 5.

Please don't do this no matter how sensible she is it just isn't worth the risk.

Picklelily99 · 12/08/2025 11:43

And good luck!

Picklelily99 · 12/08/2025 11:42

orangesandlemonssaythebellsofstclements · 12/08/2025 11:31

Yes, I know, that's the whole point. I'm trying to decide if it's worth applying if I can't get there.

I absolutely do not want to apply, get the job, and end up being late in my first week because I don't have a reliable travel plan.

Well of course it's worth applying, if that's the perfect job for you right now. Stop throwing all sorts of obstacles in the way. Apply for the job, see if you get an interview, then perhaps approach the school about b.c.opening times. *it's funny how, all through school we're told how important timekeeping and punctuality are!

Cranarc · 12/08/2025 11:39

I've not read the whole thread though I see someone has suggested asking another parent to help with this on the days when there is late opening. Assuming you are guaranteed to be there for pick up time and maybe they have times when they are running late you could return the favour? I was also going to suggest this. I see you have said that you have not yet been able to ascertain if this will work for the upcoming school year. In your position I would have the interview but say that I have a pre-booked holiday so the start date would have to be a week or two later than the advertised start. If you get offered the job then this would give you a bit of leeway to see how things pan out at the school, read the riot act to the staff, check out the possibility of other parents being able to help, etc.

orangesandlemonssaythebellsofstclements · 12/08/2025 11:38

GameWheelsAlarm · 12/08/2025 10:51

I think you should apply for the job and should also raise thisissue with the school, pointing out that as the bus to Xtown leaves the bus stop next to school at 7:52, with the next one being a hour later, having an EMC that reliably guarantees to be open on the dot of 7:45 is a vital service without which they would be actively contributing to keeping the most vulnerable children in their charge in poverty. Whilst school is not childcare, the wellbeing of the children is very much their concern and structures that enable parents to work are highly beneficial to instilling a good work ethic for children.

Simultaneously, in case the school don't deal with this properly, see if there's another parent who uses the EMC with a less tight schedule (eg if they drive) and see if you can come to an arrangement where they turn up at 7:45 and allow your child to wait with theirs and check in the two kids together, while you get the bus. If they use the EMC daily anyway then this is no real bother, and you could offer perhaps £5 per week in recognition of their help.

School is not childcare, but early morning club absolutely is childcare, which is a paid for service.

OP posts:
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