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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Brothers new partner seems really unpleasant.

57 replies

cuteseal · 12/08/2025 09:12

My brother’s been with his new partner since around this time last year but due to distance we haven’t met yet.

We’re due to meet up over the bank holiday but other family members have met her and have her on social media.
I’ve noticed a few comments she’s added on a few posts relating to ND children implying she doesn’t believe in ND and it’s just bad parenting/ excuses etc.

Not only is my own daughter ND but so is my nephew who is my brothers son that she’s now in a relationship with.
I’m really not looking forward to meeting her in person and introducing her to my daughter if that’s her attitude and feel quite sorry for my nephew that she’s so misunderstanding of his condition.
My brother seems to think she’s the bees knees and hangs off her every word so I’m not counting on him standing up for his niece or his son.
I’m really uncomfortable about meeting her now knowing her views and not sure if I should.

OP posts:
OneCoralCat · 12/08/2025 09:32

Maray1967 · 12/08/2025 09:28

She has presented herself already - via her comments.

She either genuinely believes what she has posted, or she was drunk when she posted - neither of which is great.

If she rows back and apologises sincerely - fair enough. But if I was in OP’s situation I would make sure she knew I had seen those comments and I would make sure my DN’s mother knows about them as well.

I’ve never met Lee Anderson but I’ve formed a pretty solid judgement of him based on his social media posts.

If someone was posting endlessly racist things for example, and I wasn’t a racist, I wouldn’t want to give them a chance in real life either. The OP is right to think her social media posts on ND children reflect her thoughts in real life.

Netcurtainnelly · 12/08/2025 09:31

JacquesHarlow · 12/08/2025 09:21

I find it distasteful and uncomfortable that there is this growing trend for people to be judged before they've even had a chance to present themselves.

Agree and if you make it known you don't like her you will.loose your brother so if that's what you want go ahead.
It's not about you
Think of your brother happiness and the potential fallout there could be.

Tagyoureit · 12/08/2025 09:29

JacquesHarlow · 12/08/2025 09:21

I find it distasteful and uncomfortable that there is this growing trend for people to be judged before they've even had a chance to present themselves.

Like the girlfriend is doing of ND kids?

Yeah, its really crap!

Maray1967 · 12/08/2025 09:28

JacquesHarlow · 12/08/2025 09:21

I find it distasteful and uncomfortable that there is this growing trend for people to be judged before they've even had a chance to present themselves.

She has presented herself already - via her comments.

She either genuinely believes what she has posted, or she was drunk when she posted - neither of which is great.

If she rows back and apologises sincerely - fair enough. But if I was in OP’s situation I would make sure she knew I had seen those comments and I would make sure my DN’s mother knows about them as well.

JacquesHarlow · 12/08/2025 09:21

I find it distasteful and uncomfortable that there is this growing trend for people to be judged before they've even had a chance to present themselves.

ComfortFoodCafe · 12/08/2025 09:20

No, you cant make a whole judgement off social media alone. Need to meet her.

SpanThatWorld · 12/08/2025 09:19

Meet her.
Decide if you like her.