Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DH giving me the ick **trigger warning sexual abuse**

87 replies

Thirtysomething123 · 11/08/2025 22:05

I was sexually abused throughout my childhood so this probably clouds my view of this.
DH has always gone on and on about wanting sex. Gropes me all day long and makes suggestions. I can never just hug him. I don’t like it. I’ve said that. This last week he has been incessant. But the more he moans about it the more it puts me off. I don’t want to be hassled for it! It makes me feel disgusting.
would this bother you?

OP posts:
MegaMinion34 · 11/08/2025 22:12

He is worse than not nice. He is abusing you. I'm so sorry, OP.

Thirtysomething123 · 11/08/2025 22:11

He thinks I should be pleased that he finds me attractive. Oh god. He’s not nice is he? I’ve been married to him for almost 20 years as we married young and have three DC

OP posts:
MegaMinion34 · 11/08/2025 22:10

Melonjuice · 11/08/2025 22:09

Have you told him this ? Chances are he would be mortified if he really knew how it was making you feel
talk to him - tell him it has to stop - now
he might see it as playful but it isn’t

OP literally states in their post that she has told him she doesn't like it. He continues to do it.

MegaMinion34 · 11/08/2025 22:09

So he's using your trauma to gaslight you (saying you only dislike it because you're 'funny' about sex, and you're 'funny' about sex because you were sexually abused).

He is vile.

mumofoneAloneandwell · 11/08/2025 22:09

He sounds like a literal sex pest 🤢

I picture a weedy man, following you around the kitchen, trying to rub his crotch on you

Edit - in all seriousness, this man needs to sort it out, he sounds like a weak husband who cant keep you safe from the triggers of your past 😞 x

Dont Touch Me Big Brother GIF by CBC
Melonjuice · 11/08/2025 22:09

Have you told him this ? Chances are he would be mortified if he really knew how it was making you feel
talk to him - tell him it has to stop - now
he might see it as playful but it isn’t

Rosegoldy · 11/08/2025 22:08

God help you.
Yes living with a sex pest who harrassed me and groped me, treating me like a piece of meat would be just awful.
No normal at all.

Thirtysomething123 · 11/08/2025 22:07

He says it’s because I’m funny about sex but I don’t think many people would like this. I’m constantly made to feel guilty 😢

OP posts:
singswithitsfingers · 11/08/2025 22:07

Yes, it's very off putting, to state it mildly. How is your relationship otherwise?

myplace · 11/08/2025 22:07

Yea it would. You don’t have to endure sexual assault even if he’s your husband.

edit for clarity.

fivetriangulartrees · 11/08/2025 22:06

I think it would bother most people.

Liliwen · 11/08/2025 22:06

Yes, sexual harassment like that would bother me very much