Really want to swim in my pool but I won’t

@Sheateallthehummusagain - you’re waiting to feel comfortable. Stop waiting. This is a case where action must come before feeling ready. Just get into the pool. No excuses. No-one cares. As a PP said: people have got their own stuff going on and they’re not remotely interested in you or what you look like in the pool. I’m bigger than you and I swim regularly.

Just get into the pool and swim. Once you’ve done it a few times, it will get easier and you’ll start to feel ready. But this needs action. Put your feelings to one side and take action. Get into the pool. Swim. Be there for your DD.

OP, I just joined a health spa (gym, swimming pool, sauna's etc) with my teenage DS. I was uplifted to find that there are all shapes and sizes there.
It was like being on holiday, there is always someone bigger or more self conscious than you. And for those that are, I say Bravo, not patronising. I'm not fit myself.
I have photos of myself and Ds when we were younger, enjoying ourselves on holiday and I treasure those memories, yes I was fatter than I'd like but what the feck, you can't turn back time.
Do it OP. Take the plunge.

No one's looking at you.
Sorry but you really aren't that important!
So be whatever shape you are, do what you want.
Most of the time there is literally nothing going on in other people's heads
They are just thinking about themselves.

If you’re self conscious, it’s better to be in the pool. Less of you to see.

Oh, just get in the pool @Sheateallthehummusagain Size 16 isn't even that big, and as has been said, NO-ONE will care. My DH has always had hang ups about his body - always been a bit on the chubby side with a bit of a pot belly, and he would NEVER go swimming with our DC. At the beach, water parks, or swimming pool. I took them always, and I was overweight. 2-4 stone overweight for much of the past 25 years. (Size 14 to 18.) If I hadn't taken them they would never have gone swimming!

When I tried to ask him to go, (quite a few times,) by the 7th or 8th time I asked, he accused me of bullying him. Nagging and bullying. Purely because I wanted him to come swimming with his children and his wife. So I never asked again. I just went with them myself. I did resent him for this. And I was annoyed with him for it.

They are adults now - late 20s - and still remember that their dad never went swimming - and they think it was because he couldn't be arsed. They have zero memories of fun times with dad swimming in the sea, or swimming pool or beach, because he was self concious of his body.

Don't be like that ... Get into the swimming pool with your child!

I miss mine ...do it for me. Go in

Please get in and have fun with your dd. I'm a (size 28/30) grandmother and my 10yr old dgd loves it when I get in the pool with her. We have a lot of fun 🙂

I have to admit I worried about it at first, but I wear a t-shirt and shorts instead of a costume and if the neighbours have nothing better to do than watch what we're doing, thats not my problem.

Get in the pool. Who cares or tbh even notices . You live once. Your daughter just wants you. Hope you have amazing time swimming with her

I can’t do it because the cold
makes me want to throw up, it’s horrible, I’d love to enjoy it but I have a real issue. Honestly…. If you can…..

Me too I always wear these. I'm 63 and nobody wants to see my chicken legs after a 5 stone weight loss. They look much more acceptable.

The advantage of being in the pool is no one can see how fat you are.

OP I’m the same size as you but with boobs in different postcodes and I’d be in there like a shot! Make the most of the wonderful life you have ❤️

You are letting her down AND teaching her that our self worth and happiness is defined by our body shape and size! Get out of your own head and enjoy time playing with your daughter, before you know it she will be not interested in spending time with you anymore as a teen!

I also had a friend bigger than me who said she always wears a bikini. I was really shocked but true one and all my family said a bikini was actually much more flattering as a two piece than a swimming costume because I just wasn’t one block.

You can just let go though OP. This one is simple. Get in the water and it's done. First time will be the hardest and I bet you won't look back.

I recently lost a close friend to cancer way too young. She had a little girl who misses her. You really do only get one life. Please do the things you want to do.

Seriously, why limit yourself like this? You have the right to get in that pool and enjoy it like anyone else. Do it for your daughter if nothing else. Think about the positive message you would be giving her by doing it...and the negative one you're giving her by not doing it.
Size 16 is nothing anyway. I'm a size 22 and decided years ago that I was going to enjoy myself in the pool like anyone else
Nobody cares!!

Don’t let your dd down. I’m very self conscious but have realised that I need to just try not to care - not saying it’s easy though.

I find it quite hard to get in a pool. Or the sea. Not for weight reasons. Just find it difficult somehow, I can’t actually identify why.
Very hesitant, despite wanting to.
Feels almost primal in some way.

But yes, echoing others, sod the neighbours. Noones watching. Wear a tshirt or whatever if you want. Bite the bullet! Force yourself to do it every day for a week.. and then most likely you won’t hesitate anymore.

She's going to work out sooner or later that it's because you're ashamed of your body.

How would you feel if she then became ashamed of hers?

Life’s too short to worry about things like that, get in the pool! Enjoy time with your DD and feel proud of yourself!

Here to echo what everyone else has said: get in. Right now!

Nobody gives a flying fig what you look like - everyone's too preoccupied with themselves. Think about it - do you look at other women swimming and think anything other than "oh look, there's a woman swimming!"

And also, I don't know if this makes it better or worse tbh, but I actually find it quite reassuring - everyone already knows what size you are. Clothes aren't a magic portal that transform you into a different person. Everyone has already seen you, they know what you look like, it won't be a surprise to them in literally any way to see you in a swimsuit.

Life's too short for this OP. You don't owe anyone skinniness.

Get in the damn pool! We're all waiting for the selfie 😉

Literally no one cares what size you are sweetheart - and 16 is a very normal size.

Please go swimming with your little girl and make memories together.

You are letting all these people who are supposedly watching you and judging you be more important to you than your DD. That's not right, is it?

Stop being ridiculous and get in that pool!

No one else gives a damm what you look like.