To leave DH if he loses his second job in three years?

God @Joness2 how awful. He either doesn’t give a shit or he’s oblivious to how abhorrent his behaviour is. At least you have some financial breathing space to get your ducks in a row…

The last thing this asshole needs is a drink.

If I was a coworker, I'd be looking for a new job and make it clear why I was leaving in an exit interview

If I was his wife, I'd be filing for divorce. He's a 🐖. And that's an insult to pigs.

So the can has been kicked down the road and his inevitable dismissal delayed. He will be watched like a hawk now by the people who stepped up to disclose this and who will no doubt feel shocked and disappointed at his continued presence. One wrong word and he'll be out. Meanwhile the justifiably upset colleagues will no doubt make sure his reputation goes before him. If he'd showed even the slightest indication of remorse and learning, you may have stood a tiny chance. As it is, I think you should dissociate from him as soon as you can.

OMG he sounds like a Neanderthal ! He needs to understand everything is not fine because he got a written warning rather than being fired for sexual harrassment of femaile colleagues. It shows how bad things are when he considers that a win and considers that the both of you would be celebrating. There should be no celebrations !

It seems his partner gets the same seduction techniques as the women he harasses.

It sort of sounds like he thinks you’re still on his side? And your relationship is fine. Have you not told him you’re planning to leave?

Or wait, are you actually planning to stay with him? Yuck. Your poor kids.

Don’t give him sex tonight, he shouldn’t be rewarded for this, it’s not as if he was found innocent in a trial and now deserves to celebrate……he admitted he did it and at this stage has a habit of behaving this way

More fool you if you stay with such a revolting man. He won't change.

Wow. If I was any of the people who’d made the complaint or been the subject of his comments I would not be happy, and I would look at my options. This may not be over for him.

But for you OP, this should be a watershed. Get the fuck out as soon as you can. This isn’t going to improve. You’ll end up hating him eventually and leaving anyway.

ETA just saw your response that you’d ignored him so far. If I was you I’d make plans for a weekend away somewhere immediately - go to a friends or family, doesn’t have to even be far but don’t tell him where. Maybe he’ll figure out in your absence that this might not be the win he thinks.

Oh my god. He thinks he deserves a reward now.

What did you respond?

Wtaf?!?!

He thinks this is funny???

I'd reply "I can't believe you find this funny. I find the way you speak about other women absolutely repulsive, snd even worse that you don't even feel bad about it and see it as a joke. I don't think ypu should be drinking alcohol ever again and until you apologise for your misogynistic behaviour there will be absolutely no sex"

Words fail me

What an idiot.

How long before he is fired? Before the year end would be my bet

Wow ! he is very very very lucky ! doesn't deserve it.

still at least this gives you time to get your ducks in a row...

I've no advice otger than you are amazingly strong and whatever you do you will be OK 🙏

Even if what he has done meets the criteria for dismissal, there would need to be an investigation to get statements from the women he has harassed and statements from witnesses to corroborate their accounts of his behaviour.

I would view instant dismissal applying for behaviour such physical violence in the workplace in front of lots of witnesses.

So OP just accepts (without complaint) that her OP is sexually harrassing women at work which has previously led to him resigning before he was dismissed and which will probably happen again?

Do you think that 'for better or worse' means staying married no matter how badly he has behaved? Even if he is violent? Even if he abuses their children?

Thank goodness that hideous and regressive views like yours mostly went out with the Ark.

"More or less - he seems convinced the union are adamant he won’t get dismissed and they’ve helped him with how to play it"
This says it all. I bet you will find some of the union are misogynistic pigs as well. How to play it indeed.
This filthy animal deserves the sack. Its not the first time and he has form. Yuk.

@FlowerUser Let us be supportive as her life changes and help her rather than berate her for not acting instantly.

We obviously see things differently, because I don't think I've berated her, I think I've been supportive 🤷🏼‍♀️

I don’t think she needs a “metaphorical shake”. I think she needs our compassion and support.

A lot of information has been withheld from her by her husband. He is minimising frankly disgusting behaviour and though the disciplinary hearing is today, he may not hear the outcome for a week. That outcome could be dismissal without notice. How will she pay the bills if he loses his job and they have no money? She has young children. Her view of her husband, her family, her home and her future has been fundamentally changed.

This takes time to process and decide about next steps. She also doesn’t owe us information about what she’s going to do or whether she is making a plan. She needs to decide for herself in the way that works for her.

What worries me more is that he doesn’t get dismissed, because he won’t change and the OP could well end up anxious waiting for it to happen again. This isn’t just twice in one job, this is at least twice in two jobs. He even left before he was dismissed from the first job and that still didn’t affect his behaviour. This is who he is.

Not everyone can LTB immediately for many reasons, including taking time to realise that he should be left.

Let us be supportive as her life changes and help her rather than berate her for not acting instantly.

I feel like she needs a metaphorical shake because she's obviously in shock, but the sooner she starts making a plan, the easier things will be for her. I'm not saying leave straight away (though I like to think I would in that situation), but she's posted for the opinion of 'a bunch of randoms on MN', and that's what she's getting.

Everyone's on her side, so I don't think we need to 'lighten up'.

I hope you have found a divorce lawyer OP. Sounds like he should be dismissed for gross misconduct.

and you should fire him for being a disgusting sleazeball

Not necessarily, there’s still a disciplinary process to go through. That can take time especially if meeting times also have to be co-ordinated with union reps.