To leave DH if he loses his second job in three years?

This would be an instant dismissal at my work, the comments are disgusting, I'd never want to work or be around a man like that.

This would be an instant dismissal at my work, the comments are disgusting, I'd never want to work or be around a man like that.

This would be an instant dismissal at my work, the comments are disgusting, I'd never want to work or be around a man like that.

This would be an instant dismissal at my work, the comments are disgusting, I'd never want to work or be around a man like that.

He would still have the right of appeal if he was sacked after receiving a final written warning.

Jesus H Christ. I’m assuming his rep is also male?

Why are you expecting OP to complain about the union rep, given that she only has her DH’s word for what was said ? Seriously ? It’s a he said she said situation and I for one, don’t believe a word of it.

Wow. What a charmer. Takeaway and a shag later? I hope you didn’t go anywhere near him. I can take a joke at work, but i’d be fuming if I was spoken to in his way at work. He sounds like a complete sexist pig, and I’d be making plans to end this.

Agree. I’m a little concerned by the tone of some posts. Some posters appear to be blaming OP, or at the very least accusing her of minimising.

Firstly I don’t believe the story about the union rep for a second. Wouldn’t happen. Of course the rep has outlined the seriousness of this, and it’s not like DH doesn’t already know this - he had to quit his last job before he was pushed for the same reasons. DH has had a serious bollocking and it sounds as though he’d chew his own arm off before he’d admit it, so he’s minimising what’s happened by saying the union rep agreed it was ‘just bants’. And claiming mental health at a disciplinary where sacking is on the table just wouldn’t fly without evidence to support it.

To be gross misconduct it would have to meet a higher threshold but even then he couldn’t be summarily dismissed - there would have to be an investigation and a hearing because he could claim unfair dismissal if procedure hadn’t been followed.

DH has been issued with a final written warning - the next move is dismissal and I suspect he’ll be watched like a hawk. And if any of the women involved want to launch a complaint, as you say they are within their rights to do so within three months. But the employers actions would be taken into account, so they may not get anywhere if the employer can show they have acted lawfully and fairly. There isn’t an automatic right to a tribunal - they have to apply and whether the application to proceed is granted depends on the circumstances.

When she’s divorced she won’t be present during the time her children or either sex spend with him and won’t have any control of influence on what they hear.

unfortunately that’s just not going to be possible

You say you have DC. Girls or boys?
If you have boys you need to watch what he is telling them as will learn from him and I feel sorry if you have girls. My god!!!!

Nice bit of victim blaming 🙄

OP has posted before. I think in his last job he quit before he was pushed, and there have been verbal and other warnings before he got to this point.

The word is 'luck'.

I imagine her DH being a workplace perv is likely new news, so I don't think it's really appropriate to blame her for the situation she finds herself in.

OP this is horrendous. What an absolute cad. Pretty clear he doesn’t respect women. Porn addiction in background likely. You don’t deserve this. All credit to you feeling such empathy for the women involved and even though he doesn’t give AF, calling him out anyways.
Does the letter to the hearing cite that one outcome may be dismissal? If so, gross misconduct is a possible outcome. It’s prohibited conduct under the Equality Act (2010) on grounds of sex and sexual orientation (harassment). The dinosaur Union rep should be pulled over the coals too. Any decent rep would’ve outlined to him how serious and unacceptable it is. If any of the women launch an Employment Tribunal claim, has to be within 3 months minus a day from date of last act, is he aware he can be listed as a Respondent and if the complaints are upheld in Claimant’s favour can also be ordered to pay compensation.
Work nights out, formal or informal, can be deemed to be an extension of the workplace.
Exposure best way to navigate through. Hoping if they are around his Mum, sister etc will also kick his backside.

MH problems about things happening at home!!!! He’s a peach isn’t he.
i would be getting my ducks in a row, starting divorce proceedings and then going to his HR department and telling them that your STBX and Union rep are lying through their teeth.
He’s a disgusting specimen, he really is. Vile

So he went from no disciplinary record to a final written warning?

Bullshit. Something has happened in between that you don't know about.

When i was still working a final written warning meant any further breach he could be sacked immediately without the right of appeal. Ive seen situations where a FWW was a strategic choice by a manager rather than going straight for dismissal where there could be an appeal. They obviously think he's going to do something again.

You know them both personally do you ? Because if not, you have no way of knowing. And your misogyny is showing.

Always one

Urgh. I work in an industry (FS) where that type of 'banter' was uncommon, but did happen 15-20 years ago and as a young woman I was on the receiving end of it more than once. I still remember those events to this day and I spent a lot of time playing them back in my head, worrying what I'd done 'wrong'.

OP, your husband's behaviour is disgusting and IMO he was very, very lucky and probably only got away with it as he's a good performer with an 'unblemished' record (of course you know it's not really unblemished).

They'll be keeping an eye on him now & he appears to have learned nothing from this or the previous incident. How crass to propose drinking and 'a shag' when drinking and crude sexual language got him into the situation. I know your thread is about his employment, but I do wonder how he conducts himself socially & what impact that has on you and your kids. e.g. You won't necessarily know what events you're not invited to or why.....

That message would be nail in coffin for me (well, actually the first incident would have been).
He doesn’t care. He thinks it’s a huge joke. He’s a sexist and he will do it again.

OP really doesn’t need this crap. She realises what’s going on and she realises she has a difficult time ahead of her, but in real life you can’t just up and leave when you have children to think about. Do you not think she has enough to think about without logging on to a site she went to for support and seeing posters calling her DH a filthy pig and suggesting she’s letting herself down by the company she keeps ? He’s still her husband - that may not be for much longer, but a bit of respect for OP at least wouldn’t go amiss. She’s just as much the wounded party here.

What a vile individual. Stating the obvious i know