To leave DH if he loses his second job in three years?

Talk about kick a women whilst she’s down. Surely posters can resist the snidey comments for once?

I’m sorry but I really don’t like the phrasing here. The union said the manager would influence the hearing? That sounds like victim blaming to me and if the union rep said that they should be out of a job themselves.

These are not inappropriate comments. It’s sexual harassment and he should be fired.

After you leave him, I suggest that you have some therapy to find out why your bar was so low.

If you truly were a team, he would have been doing everything in his power to support you during pregnancy, not losing his job. At the very least, he would have made sure he was never in that position again. Yet here you are.

He doesn't get to act against the interests of the 'team', then bleat when you do the same.

He’s like someone from a Carry On film - how on earth can he have that little awareness. And these are just the things you hear about because they become part of formal gross misconduct hearings. What other stuff does he do inside and outside work that does unreported

LTB so you can start rebuilding your life asap … Seriously please don’t be embarrassed - it’s all on him.

I thought you were being unreasonable until that little nugget of why he is being disciplined got thrown in at the end! LTB

Ok, my DH has lost a few jobs in his time, sometimes interpersonal (not as in disciplinary, but as in falling out with people) but not for that reason which is a bit of a red flag to say the least.

As everyone else is saying, plus he must be spectacularly stupid to say these things to and about his managers.

I would leave him because he’s too stupid to realise that his “Bantz Pantz” behaviour is unacceptable in a professional environment, disrespects you entirely and proves that he is a boarish, sexist oaf who doesn’t learn from his mistakes. I hope your baby isn’t exposed to this man.

Just seen your update OP how grim! Don’t be embarrassed for yourself you’re not responsible for what comes out of his mouth. He’s an idiot and a loose cannon, you cannot trust him.

Jesus Christ the update. Are you married to Greg Wallace?

I would leave because of the comments. Whether he gets sacked this time or not is immaterial. He is too stupid to learn that you can’t go around making offensive comments and not have consequences.

If you are a team then each team member works for the benefit of the team.
Making offensive comments and losing his job then repeating the same scenario means he is working against the team he thinks he is a part of

Get rid of him, throw him in the bloody bin. Op you deserve much better than this creep

I was all set to say 'for better for worse, for richer for poorer' but it's not about him losing his job. It's about him being a completely unreconstructed sex pest. It's about whether or not you want to be married to a man who embarrasses you, who you would feel repelled by if he were a stranger or colleague making those comments to you while you tried to get on with your job. The first time should have been a wake up call to him to mature and learn to respect women and recognise what they have to deal with.

However I do agree with a PP who said, make all decisions with a cool head. Ensure you are financially stable alone, and mentally, physically, emotionally in the right place to become a single parent and endure a separation. It's very stressful.

What an utter knob. Did he think he was being funny and totally misjudge (I have a friend like this, although he wouldn't say anything that would get him fired), or is he just a real creep towards women?

YANBU to consider leaving him.

He says I should be supporting him and that we are a team and to threaten to leave is making it ‘about me’.

Why the hell should you be supporting him? He created this mess with his "vile comments", that's all on him. You should be making it about you, and your child.

If his behaviour is so bad he's facing disciplinary action (again), is that someone you want to be with? As said by others, there are probably more instances that weren't reported.

Only you can decide whether to stay with him. Personally I wouldn't, but I don't know your circumstances; can you financially support yourself and your child if you leave - can you support all 3 of you when he loses this job too?

Ewww
was he always like this?

I wouldn’t stay married to that especially having a child..do you have a daughter?

Don't be embarrassed just kick him out. He's a disgusting misogynistic creep.
Do it for your child if not yourself.

He has no respect for you

He is disgusting. How on earth can you think twice about staying with this man.

Oh OP. I’m sorry. Don’t be embarrassed for him. He’s the one who did it and you’re not responsible for a horrible man’s poor behaviour.

Oh he’s grim. Dump him

Do you want to be married to a sex pest creep?

Edit as crosspost: you have nothing to be embarrassed about.

Hang on... DH has in two separate jobs said something so vulgar and inappropriate to female colleagues hes faced disciplinary action? To a level quitting was his best bet?

The first time he jumped (which is the only thing that saved his pension because that can be forfeit if you are sacked for gross misconduct) i act as decision manager in those sort of cases for my employer and although its a balance of probability it must have been extremely serious for the unions advice to be quit.

The second time hes hoping for a warning and his only concern is you and him being a "team"?

This isnt a misunderstanding or something he cant control. This isnt a mistake. Its a pattern of behaviour and who he is..

The issue isnt his job its that hes a pig! "Im sorry love, I said something grossly inappropriate to a woman behind your back but dont worry I hopefully wont lose my job this time"

Honestly not sure this is an end it IF situation.