To leave DH if he loses his second job in three years?

His behaviour is awful. I'd be on tenterhooks he'll do it again and I'd struggle to live like that. You deserve better OP. Hugs

I would leave. I think more because of the reason of the dismissals rather than the dismissals themselves, if that makes sense.

him being a creep is grim and it’s not fair on you (or the other women.) also lots of women don’t report so I’d imagine there’s lots more instances that you don’t know about.

I think he was also very lucky to get another job after the 1st job/time and he probs won’t get lucky again.

I’ve had creepy managers at work who were married and I’ve often wondered if their wives know/knew and how they stand for it.

(I also want to add it would be useful to know what he said, is it a weird joke that could be taken the wrong way iyo or is it totally creepy.)

Why on Earth would you stay with him? He’s clearly the office sleeze!!

This is now law in the workplace -taken from gov.uk website. From today (26 October 2024), employees can expect their employers to take reasonable steps to protect them from sexual harassment as a new duty comes into force.
Employers now have a duty to anticipate when sexual harassment may occur and take reasonable steps to prevent it. If sexual harassment has taken place, an employer should take action to stop it from happening again. This sends a clear signal to all employers that they must take reasonable preventative steps against sexual harassment, encourage cultural change where necessary, and reduce the likelihood of sexual harassment occurring.
His comments are absolutely horrible, personal and are way over the line to two women who he's humiliated and treated like they worth nothing beyond how shaggable he thinks they are. To think he effectively lost his job when his wife was pregnant and all the resulting stress and financial worry and having found another job does the same thing!! The anxiety of being married to such a stupid reckless twat would be enough for me to start getting ducks in row to leave. His employer is legally required to deal with sexual harassment in the workplace and he's a massive liability. They don't sack him and he does it again to another colleague they have failed to protect that colleague from him.

If you feel your life will be better raising a child on your own, go for it.

If you let him stay you'll always be waiting for the next time

I was the woman this happened to at work. It was fucking horrific. Honestly... Scarred me for years. I took a grievance. It was upheld. It took so much from me and my family. HR tried everything to make me just accept what had happened. It was literally an open and shut case of harassment. If HR are taking it this seriously, you can rest assured it's much worse than he is admitting to.

Please do leave OP. You deserve so much better. So do the women this a hole is targeting.

Your husband is disgusting, and him saying you are making it about you should show you what a vile individual he is.
To sumerise, he is a sex pest, he makes vile comments to women, he is a bully and in my opinion a lech. All this is on him, you are not a team, you did not make the vile remarks.
Leave this piece of shit, and show him you do not condone his behaviour, your children deserve this too, he us no role model to them.
You deserve so much better, and leaving will give you your respect back.
I wish you well.

How many credit cards does she have. Not a chance does she do all that on a part time job, UC and some maintenance payments.

I'm not commenting on OPs situation or advising her.

My posts were just to clarify that someone on benefits can secure a mortgage on UC in certain circumstances. There was a bit of confusion about whether or not it's possible.

I would leave because of the comments, not because of the job situation. My ex made lewd comments to younger (much younger her females) and is now being investigated by the police for criminal sexual offences. Red flags were there but I stupidly ignored them and how it made me feel.

Once is maybe forgivable,but twice? Was he dismissed from the first job for the same reason?

Reading this has given me the ick 🤢 I would be leaving him regardless of the outcome!! Those comments show a lack of respect for you, your child (male or female to be honest) and females in general!!

Absolutely vile comments. Flip it on him and see how he would feel if you made these comments to a male colleague!

This.

As a Manager I think he will be fortunate to keep his job. Particularly given a number of women have complained. His behaviour has been extremely poor and the company will be mindful if they leave him in place and he does so again they have a degree of culpability. They of course do not know why he left his last job but might now be more inclined to make enquiries. Even if he gets through this time it does feel inevitable he will cross a boundary soon. I would think carefully OP. It does not sound as if he recognises he has done anything wrong?

Yes I know. Then you would own 25% of a flat. Great for a FTb, not quite so attractive for a middle aged mother leaving their owned property.
besides, if she gets half the equity on a decent house she won’t qualify, but may still struggle to raise a mortgage to buy a full house.

these aren’t little issues, they have deep detrimental impacts. You don’t do them lightly. OP needs to plan, not take this flying by the seat of your pants into oblivion approach posters are suggesting.

I'd leave him for the fact he can't stop sexually harassing his female colleagues. You only know he does it because now for the second time he's up on disciplinary with the possibility that he's about to lose another job over it. He even admitted he resigned so he didn't have a dismissal on his work record because he knew full well that he would have to disclose his reasons for being sacked off and any future employers would think twice about employing him. He's clearly not making mistakes he knows what he's doing as this is the second time that you know of him doing it. There could be more times he's done this that you don't know about

Shared ownership is very affordable in areas where property prices are lower. You could easily buy a 25% share of a flat with £26k salary.

I'd be more concerned about the fact that he's a creepy pervert with no respect for women, although the fact he keeps getting sacked for it makes matters worse.

Benefit cap is £26k a year. Good luck getting a mortgage on that level of income. Neither would I want to go from a full mortgaged house into a shared ownership property, which is, obviously, only part of an asset.

none of these things make the OP “better off” in benefits as suggested. They are not only unworkable for most but involve a detriment to living and financial standards the impact of which will be felt for life. Be more strategic

I have voted yes you are being unreasonable - for focussing entirely on the possibility of him losing another job.

It's not about that.

It's about the fact that you know you are married to a serial pesterer, lech, creep, misogynist. And aren't considering ending it over that. Those poor women.

If this is what he's told you it's the sanitised version. You are in for a lifetime of stress and misery with this man, because fundamentally he doesn't believe he's done anything wrong.

He's angry he's been reported and pulled up on this but will keep repeating this behaviour because he thinks it's the system at fault not him. He's just having "banter".

I think the fact he thinks his comments were ‘hijinks’ instead of deeply offensive and sexual harrasment says volumes. He STILL doesn’t think what he says is a big deal and that’s what would bother me most. That he’s not even apologetic or mortified but thinks others are overblowing it.

Im sorry OP you must be devastated. This isn’t your fault so don’t blame yourself or question yourself.

I can only imagine how hard it is to realise that your married to a mysognistic twat who has zero common sense. Run dont walk, he has no self awareness.

Why wait? I wouldn’t want to share my life with a misogynist.