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Original poster

How would your husband react to this way of attempting intimacy?

88 replies

Klarr · 11/08/2025 20:19

Dh, kids and I are on holiday with my sister, her husband and children. It’s been lovely. Villa abroad. The kids occupy themselves and the adults get to lounge around the pool/play tennis/take it in turns to go out and about. No one is stressed as it’s pretty easy and relaxed.

Anyway, today I saw DH being really great with the kids - he just sorted everyone out today with breakfast and making sure the kids had all the stuff they needed for today’s big activity. We were ahead of schedule and just milling around.

I was just wanting to show my dh some affection if you know what I mean. So to get a bit of privacy in the bedroom I told dh his mum (who lives abroad to us all) was FaceTimeing on the kids tablet in our room and I couldn’t bring it to him as it was low battery and needing charging. Anyway, he got really annoyed and rejected me when he found out I was making the phone call up and just trying to get a few mins with him alone. Am I crazy that most men would not care AT ALL that I white lied in this scenario.

We moved past it but I just feel really rejected

OP posts:
BreakingBroken · 12/08/2025 00:25

so him being a good parent and being in full parent mode, made you want to have sex with him?
really bad timing not to mention the full villa.
i find it rather pathetic when partners feel rejected when the other person says not a good time/not in the mood/ want to get ready for the outing/want to spend time with my family etc.

InterestedDad37 · 12/08/2025 00:18
  1. The ruse was very odd (the mum bit)
  2. Contrary to popular belief, blokes aren't always 'up for it', so to speak. Probably just happened to pick the wrong moment. 👍
  3. Ltb 😉 (joke)
Vodkamartini3olives · 12/08/2025 00:08

My DH would be in like a dirty shirt. A day with an unexpected quickie is a good day.

AMurderofMurderingCrows · 12/08/2025 00:03

Darling, your mummy is facetiming in our bedroom, oh by the way, fancy your hole 👉 🕳

Eenameenadeeka · 11/08/2025 23:59

So you wanted to do it while everyone was awake in the villa, and you got him into the room by telling him to come and talk to his mum? Yeah.... I think I'd be uncomfortable too in his position

Twistedfirestarters · 11/08/2025 23:05

Not only was his mind on his mum which would have been a passion killer, it sounds like the villa was full of kids and his in laws? Maybe he was worried someone would burst in.

Harshreality · 11/08/2025 22:58

My husband would be absolutely delighted and clamber on immediately

OuijaBoard · 11/08/2025 22:40

Could he have been worried because his mum wouldn't normally have FT'd spontaneously? Or is he a stickler for truth and didn't like the white lie in principle? It does seem a little elaborate and calculated rather than just saying "please come into the bedroom; I need to show you something". Anyway, only he can tell you.

MayaPinion · 11/08/2025 22:37

If I’d invoked a FaceTime with his mum in an attempt to seduce my DP he’d think I’d gone start raving mad 😂

Megifer · 11/08/2025 22:33

My DPs mum is dead so he'd know shes not facetiming him 😬

In all seriousness it would depend on his mood tbh. If he had something on his mind he'd probably be pissed off.

How id probably take it - I'd be seriously fucked off if I'd had a busy day being all entertaining and organised n shit and then DP made up some bollocks about my mum being on the phone just to get his piece of needy attention from me too.

AgentLisbon · 11/08/2025 22:32

Was he worried something was wrong with his mum? I can see him perhaps thinking you were trying to get him away from the kids as there was something she wanted to tell him / about her that she or you wouldn’t want the kids to overhear. Might have panicked him a bit.

Either way, there were probably better ways of getting him away to come with you but does sound like an overreaction on his part.

FlowersandElephants · 11/08/2025 22:25

Notmyreality · 11/08/2025 20:50

Honey..your mums on the phone..wink wink😉😉😉

yeah, bit weird.

Show quote history

Honey, your mums on the kids tablet 🤣🤣

Pricelessadvice · 11/08/2025 21:46

He thought he was going to speak to his mum… not normally something that then turns instantly into sex!
I think I’d have just whispered something suggestive in his ear rather than lie about his mum

CheeseWisely · 11/08/2025 21:42

He’d be really weirded out that I’d brought his Mum into the conversation, I’d imagine.

EveryOtherNameTaken · 11/08/2025 21:32

Think you just went the wrong way about it. He had his mum in mind to speak to then you wanted him to be instantly at it. Not the best foreplay talk 😂

TheSilentSister · 11/08/2025 21:22

OP, you'll both laugh about this later. He'd been running around organising, feeding the kids, his mind wasn't on sex! Don't take it as a rejection. He was taken by surprise. Laugh it off, with him. That's far sexier than 'Mum's on the phone'. Lol.

MidnightMusing5 · 11/08/2025 21:20

QuickFawn · 11/08/2025 20:24

Probably killed the mood a bit with all the talk of his mum 😂

I was about to say the same thing. It would have been a turn off for my dh

gamerchick · 11/08/2025 21:10

Disturbia81 · 11/08/2025 20:35

Imagine it the other way round and the man expected her to just get in the mood..

Probably would have worked with me tbh.

BigFatLiar · 11/08/2025 21:07

A bit odd, should have just been open about it. If he'd been enthusiastic just imagine the potential embarrassment next time his mother does call and he rushes you to the bedroom.

outerspacepotato · 11/08/2025 21:03

Using his mom as a sex lure, take the L!

😂

GladioliGreen · 11/08/2025 21:03

I think that sometimes if you are in parent mode it can be difficult to just switch that off and move into intimacy mode. It sounds like you were both just on different wavelengths and you caught him off guard. He was focused on the kids and the day ahead that's all.

TheRealGoose · 11/08/2025 21:01

Why the lie though, why can’t you just say fancy a quickie or some alone time?

CopperWhite · 11/08/2025 20:59

Spontaneity is good. Bringing his Mum into it when you’re trying to turn him in is not.

Couldn’t you have said you needing him to move a spider or something?

takealettermsjones · 11/08/2025 20:56

Maybe he was knackered after looking after the kids all morning!

JLou08 · 11/08/2025 20:55

What's the relationship like with his mum? I don't think my DH would mind a white lie but maybe the thought of a facetime with his mum made him stressed. Even if they have a good relationship he could have thought something bad had happened if he has elderly parents or if it would be unusual of her to facetime at that time of day or when she knows your on holiday.